


Blood, Sweat and Eezo

by eyezonlyii



Series: To Be Your Anchor [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pre-Canon, Presumed Dead, Reunions, Romance, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 70,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyezonlyii/pseuds/eyezonlyii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows the journey of Commander Shepard, his rise to prominence in the Alliance, the first human Spectre, the unmovable man who brought an end to the unstoppable Reapers. Always just on the right side of skill and luck, he and his crew managed to do the impossible. But there's always more than one side to a story, and no one is made a legend in a vacuum. This is the story of another man, who's suffering helped make Shepard possible. He may not have won the war, but he contributed just as much as anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Changing My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> So I love Steve. And while playing ME3, I realized I was a bit disappointed with part of his story. I wanted to know more about Robert. We spent enough time hearing about him, but I didn't get to know anything other than his voice. I know he was in no way instrumental to the story and in fact would have taken away from the Cortez/Shepard romance, but he was a huge part of Steve's life! I couldn't imagine the man I've loved for 5 years now giving his life for me and I not have anything to say about him.
> 
> The beginning chapters are set before the Reaper invasion. It'll be clear when we get to the "present"
> 
> 9/17: Just edited some tags.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the ending of a new beginning for Robert and Steve.

 

Steve was panting. His eyes were screwed shut and he was still rolling with waves of pleasure from the treatment he was just given. Slowly he started to come down, regaining feeling in his fingers and toes and he could feel all his neurons misfiring when he tried to form a coherent thought. Over his ragged breath, he could hear his lover chuckling, obviously amused by the sheer intensity his orgasm. His body was still trembling slightly and he was surprised at the vice-like grip he maintained on the armrests of the cushy office chair he was sitting in. As he moved, the leather squeaked, eliciting another snigger from the man kneeling in front of him. Once he felt like he could open his mouth without his tongue falling out and making him look even more helpless than the puppy he felt like at the moment, he did so. Only instead of some quick jibe, or snide remark, he heard himself wheeze a meager, “That was amazing.”

He blinked his eyes open, grimacing as the light pierced the serenity that had clouded his mind. His gaze wandered around the room, taking in the large metal desk he was seated behind, and the door right across from him. The. Open. Door. Most people may have been a bit nervous about this precarious situation, but Steve was if nothing else, a bit of an exhibitionist, a point that was not lost on the man now standing in front of him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his stare intense and longing, but also triumphant.

Steve smiled back, and stood up to kiss him, his legs finally able to hold his weight.  Unfortunately, his pants were still around his ankles and the combination of that and the wheels on the chair meant that he was headed more down than up as he left the seat. Before his lips met tile, a large hand grasped his left arm and hauled him upright. He buried his face in the other man’s neck and tried to wrap his arms around his back. He knew he would barely be able to as his lover’s size was a direct contrast to his own. Steve was small and lithe, able to fit snugly inside an F-61 Trident with room to spare (other pilots often jokingly asked if he could reach the controls). The chest he was pressed up against, however, was thick with muscle; the very midpoint between a solid athlete and a bodybuilder. His shoulders were broad and they tapered into a strong if not overly defined core. Tracing his fingertips along the other man’s back, he was electrified by every twitch and curve, though that could have more to do with the power controlled by the implant he was now brushing over, at the spot where neck connected to head. He looked up, into deep eyes and a stoic expression. Slowly, a sly grin began to spread across thick lips and Steve groaned, waiting for the inevitable.

“Why Mr. Cortez,” the other man began, “when you said you were falling for me, this isn’t what I had in mind.” This was followed by a wink and a quick and firm squeeze of Steve’s right flank. The man stared, patiently waiting for the rebuttal.

Chuckling, Steve shook his head. “Considering I spend most of my time in the air, it’s good to have someone there to catch me.” He pulled the other man closer, standing on his toes so he could whisper into his ear. Even then the height difference was too great, so he leaned down, making use of his proximity to nibble on the space between Steve’s neck and shoulder. Steve moaned, the next words coming out with every ounce of truth he could muster. “And there’s no one I’d rather have than you Robert.”

 This changed the grin to a full on smile, Robert showing a dazzling amount of teeth (do people really have that many?), and his eyes lighting up, filling both the room and Steve. Beaming down, he gently pressed his lips to Steve’s forehead. “I will always be there to catch you.”

* * *

 

Moments like these, Robert cherished more than anything; times when he could live life and be at peace, a reprieve from the demon that was his past, present in his mind; voices that were silenced but never quieting. Yes, occasions like this were very welcome and they were increasing in frequency the longer he was with Steve. His doctor had even told him that _if_ his progress stayed on this trajectory, she _may_ consider the _possibility_ of reviewing some of his treatment procedures.

He watched as Steve pulled up his uniform and slowly (deliberately slowly, he noticed) put himself away, eyes locked on his lover the entire time. “A credit for your thoughts, _Sir?_ ” the lieutenant quipped.

Robert never ceased to be amazed at how easily Steve could read people, especially himself. He remembered the first time Steve had approached him, after a “rousing” game of improvised biotiball with the remains of the Delta Squad and some of the other colony personnel. Steve had stridden over, clicking his tongue and shaking his head with a towel in hand, while Robert nursed a fat lip and a swollen eyebrow. “You know, you’re a lot tougher than you look,” he had called, as he closed the last few feet. The dirt from the makeshift field dusted the bottom of his boots and the grease from some machine or other was stained on his fingertips.  “But I know you went easy on him.”

Robert had only grunted in reply, not wanting to acknowledge the other man. Not because Steve had done anything to him personally, but because he knew that-that- _pendejo_ (yea that was the word) Vega. He glanced over at the offending marine and inwardly smiled as he saw Vega leaning forward letting the blood run out of his nose and cradling his ribs. Steve’s last statement was more than just a compliment; it was an obvious fact to anyone who had seen the scuffle.

Though Vega may have gotten in a few good hits, Steve was sure that all of Robert’s openings were intentional; in other words, he had  _allowed_ the other Marine to slug him. From what Steve knew, that was not something a former 10th Street Red member would have done, and this along with Robert’s…assets… piqued his interests.

“Just because we know each other doesn’t mean I’m on his side, you know,” the smaller man was still there, bearing the towel, smudged from his fingers, as a peace offering, “and he did step out.” The _Out of line,_ piece of that sentence was unspoken, but understood nevertheless.  Robert turned finally, taking in the shorter man with the caramel skin and close shave and- _those eyes_! He felt something inside him shift, a realignment of some sort and he knew first thing after a shower, he was going to see Dr. Suresh.  Unsure of what to do, he reached for the towel and muttered an awkward “Thanks”.

 Steve, for his part, had a coy look on his face, as if he were entertained by something only he could see. “No problem,” noticing Robert’s focus trained on Vega, he patted his shoulder, “Don’t worry about him, I think he likes you now.” Robert’s disbelief was assuaged by the baneful glare he was receiving from across the field.  

He snapped out of his reverie when he heard Steve clearing his throat. He flushed, ashamed at how easily he seemed to be losing focus these days. Glancing nervously at his beau, he searched Steve’s face for any indication of the conversation that had been until this point, completely one-sided. When he was met with a half smirk and a tiny huff, Robert shrugged his shoulders in defeat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.”

“I know,” came the reply, not angry. That was a good thing, as it meant he didn’t miss anything too important. “I was just saying how I should probably go because the _Security Commander_ might come in, and I would be in a world of trouble if see saw what was on the cameras in the last half hour.” A devious smirk pulled at Steve’s lips, and Robert had to stifle the urge to haul Steve back to his place and put them to a better use. 

“Oh really now _Lieutenant_?” Robert countered, his own leer widening as he pulled up his omni-tool. He accessed the recent camera footage from his office and leaned over, bringing his arm up so Steve could see. “You mean this footage right here?” he pushed play and there he was kneeling in front of his man, Steve’s mouth making funny shapes without the audio to support the image.  Now, it was Steve who blushed. He may be a bit of an exhibitionist, but seeing himself on screen was different. It was too revealing; the way he looked when he let himself go and getting lost in the feeling of…

The image vanished, replaced with an error message. He sent a sideways glance to Robert, who only winked, and declared the task as finished. “Any more requests _Lieutenant_?” he drawled, deriving some minor pleasure in this game.

“Only for you to come straight back to my place after you get off, so we can properly celebrate your new promotion.” Lustful blue eyes held him in their gaze long enough to get the point across.

“Sir! Yes sir!” came the more than enthusiastic reply.

* * *

Robert was nervous. It didn’t occur to him before when he had agreed so readily in the office, but he had never spent an evening at Steve’s place. Whenever they spent time together it was somewhere public, with plenty of lights and people around. _Just trying to keep him safe,_ he reasoned to himself. He had even sent Steve a message later to try and weasel out, maybe have a nice dinner at that new café, Mara et Terra, to which Steve vehemently declined.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with coming over earlier. What changed?” Hologram Steve’s distorted voice carried more than a hint of annoyance and his nostrils were flaring in a failed attempt at concealing his irritation. His arms were crossed and his eyes narrowed as he waited for Robert’s response.

“I just…I don’t want to rush anything,” Robert whispered, his gaze falling to the floor, unable to look at those intense blue eyes. It wasn’t a total lie, but he couldn’t let Steve know that. He really did like Steve, as he was the one person that had seen Robert as a man, instead of the broken soldier that everyone else, including he saw. Sure, he was just promoted, but that was more out of necessity, than for service. The previous Security Commander had been killed in the last pirate raid on the colony and Robert was one of the few with the relevant experience. If anything it was an unstated temporary arrangement; he understood that his traumatic past weighed heavily on his superiors.

Robert sighed, mentally bracing himself against the wave of emotions that were welling within him. It had been a few months now, and all they had ever done was some light foreplay, with what had occurred earlier being a rare moment when Robert give in to temptation and allowing himself to be, himself. Steve aroused him physically and mentally, and he wanted to be perfectly sure that he was everything Steve deserved.  

The uncomfortable silence stretched between them, a gulf of experiences that couldn’t be breached by words alone. He wanted to scream at himself and tear his doubt away from his mind. He could feel the voices bleeding through, remnants of a life he lost before. Determined to not give in, to move forward, and never back, he steeled his resolve, _Not one moment for granted,_ he thought, to meet the eyes of the man he knew he wanted; no matter the legions of inner demons he had to slay to keep him.  With his newfound determination, he raised his gaze.

What he saw very nearly broke his heart. Steve was watching him, his face downcast as he had obviously witnessed Robert’s internal struggle. His shoulders were dropped and all hint of that sultry attitude that captivated Robert was gone, replaced by a forlorn resignation etched across his brow. Robert knew, right then and there, that he would do whatever it took to keep that look from ever appearing on Steve’s face again, even if it killed him.

“Robert…I,” Steve began, his voice shaky, “If you don’t want to continue what we’ve started, I understand, I just…really like you, and I thought there was something here.” His voice trailed off, and he started to turn away from his holographic view of Robert. The sight was too much for Robert, his need for Steve and his company overriding his fear of himself.

“Steve, wait,” voice cracking while physically reaching through the hologram, hoping his words weren’t too late. “I do want to continue.” _That was lame,_ he thought. “I’ll be over, if it’s not too late.” _PLEASE don’t let it be too late. How could I be so stupid? Here is the one person who WANTS to spend time with me and I’m too busy wallowing in my own fucked up emotions…_ his thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Steve’s whole body perking up, his dark features energized once again. His smile completely lit up the vid screen (people usually show more teeth than that) and his eyes practically dazzled with anticipation.

“Of course, it’s not too late. Give me half an hour?”

“Sure, I still need to shower and everything anyway.”

He closed the channel and stalked to his room.  His quarters were immaculate with nothing out of place, and if one was really inclined, it truly was possible to eat off the floor. Taking off his boots, he placed them at the foot of his bed; his uniform, he hung up for the next day. After that was taken care of, he entered his bathroom and looked in the mirror. His hair was getting a little long for his tastes, as he enjoyed the standard marine cut. He knew most people were turned off by them, but his crimson locks were a favorite feature of his.

His eyes were a little on the tired side, a side effect from years of waging a constant war with insanity. They too were red, a “gift” from his mother who, while a genius in genetic manipulation, was also eccentric. As he splashed his face with water, priming himself for a shave, he reveled in the cool water trickling down, and pooling around his chin before dripping into the sink. His favored facial setup was bare, but he didn’t have the time, so he opted for a thin chinstrap trim instead.

After a shower, that was short by even regulation standards, Robert stepped down the hall back to his room. Since he had forgotten a towel, he was going to have to air dry. To waste a bit of time, he decided to do some mental exercises, with the goal of fortifying his mind in an effort to salvage some part of this evening. He pulled out his favorite mat, and sat cross legged, feet on his knees; body limber from years as an elite soldier. He placed his wrists on his feet, palms up with his forefinger and thumb joined in a circle. A bit cliché, he was aware but hit helped him relax.

He felt the room receding as his consciousness expanded. In his mind’s eye, he was sitting in the middle of a raging sea. The water was roiling and black as oil, and he knew, without looking, that the source of the voices were in that water, waiting to drag him under should he submit to the violence. It seemed to sense his presence, actively seeking him as he steadied himself. The goal was to both suppress and repel the dark ocean, giving him enough space to make it through the evening.  He concentrated, forcing his will outward and downward. The result was the tip of some sort of monolith one that was familiar, yet alien at the same time.

The sea however, wasn’t going to let him go without a fight. A shriek pierced the air from a bursting bubble, and along with it rose a metallic arm, silver coated, and speckled with blue crystalline shavings. The liquid slicked from its body, running in rivulets as it fought against the current. While the turbulence receded around his clearing, the metallic form seemed to be gaining strength. The more he repressed the other voices, the clearer this one sounded; a low hum that pulled at the base of consciousness. Instinctively, he knew: this was it, the thing that plagued him, the one from which all the other voices spawned, or at the very least were amplified. Terror gripped him as he stared at the emerging form. It wasn’t some grotesque monstrosity. No, that would have been easier than this. Instead of some vile creature, he saw his own face, contorted in anguish and rage, corrupted by lights and alloys.

He stopped the exercise, the ocean melting into the floor as the walls and furniture coalesced into view. The last piece of the vision was the metal doppelganger fading with an onerous glare. _So much for relaxing_ , he thought. He had seen some crazy things during these exercises; mostly nightmares from his past, but never a synthetic that looked like him. He would definitely have to talk to Dr. Suresh about his. Still shaken, he checked the time, and upon seeing he had a few minutes left, hurried to find something to wear.

A slight scowl pinned his lips as he looked through his closet. He had uniforms and he had stay-at-home clothes. There was little in between and Steve had seen all of it. There had been talk of him going to get some more shirts for when they went out, but nothing ever came of it, and now he was wishing he had taken the pilot up on his offer. Not seeing a way around a recycled outfit, he chose some black jeans (that fit very well despite their age) and a grey shirt with a diagonal black stripe across his back and shoulder. As satisfied as he was going to get with his look, he put on his shoes and headed out. He closed the door behind himself, a thought suddenly hitting him. _Am I supposed to bring something?_ Unsure, he decided against fumbling in the dark and called Steve from his omni-tool.

“Well, if you really want to bring something, a good drink would be nice,” Steve suggested, “But you really don’t have to.” Robert was glad to hear the velvet back in his voice.

“No, I really want to. I think I know what to get now.”

A few minutes later, he was walking out of the store with a smile on his face and bottle of rum in hand.

* * *

“It’s open!” Steve called when the door chimed, or keyed, as the he had changed the sound from the clanging wind-bells to a few bars of his favorite old piano tune. His hands were full as he was plating the last bit of chicken fricassee. He heard the door hiss open and felt the slight breeze from the change in pressure. Setting the plates down on the small metal and glass table, he turned toward the door, his face falling when he saw who entered.

“Oh Esteban! How sweet of you to cook for me!” Vega exclaimed while striding in. It was obvious he had just come from the gym, his workout clothes matted to his skin with sweat and his faux-hawk drooping to his forehead. His skin was flush, the blood still pulsing at the surface. His green eyes fixed on Steve and his mouth opened as if he were about to say something. Instead, he inhaled deeply, the savory scent of the chicken filling his nostrils and Steve allowed a small smile when he saw the man lick his lips. “So why didn’t you tell me you were cooking? I would have brought some tequila!” his voice was boisterous as usual and Steve suppressed a joke about needing earmuffs to hear him properly. Instead, he lowered his tone, hoping Vega would mimic him.

“I didn’t let you know _Mr. Vega_ because it isn't for you. I’m having a night in with Robert. He’s been under a lot of stress lately and spends most of his time at work. When he’s not on duty he’s still there. I just want to give him a night to relax.” The younger man’s eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit. “Oh come on Vega, you can’t still be mad at him for after the game, can you?”

“No!” he huffed, “Why would I be mad? Plus everyone knows he’s _loco_ anyw-” Before he could finish his thought, however, Steve was in his face, hands on his chest fisting his shirt, and forcing him against the wall. They both knew that if Vega wanted to, he could break Steve’s hold, but Vega suspected that would not win him any points at the moment.

“If you ever refer to him like that again, so help me James I’ll toss you out a Trident myself.” His voice was calm, but the anger behind it and the threat in his normally friendly eyes sent a chill down Vega’s spine. He had known Steve for over a year now, and had never seen him this angry over anything. Steve wasn’t done though, “I don’t know what you have against him, but know this: he is important to me, and I don’t care what you say about me, but you will respect him. Now get out, before I call the Security Commander and let him know you’re harassing me.”

Vega wasn’t stupid. He knew Robert was the new Commander, and he also knew that Robert would have a field day with him in custody. He was loath to admit it, but even he figured out that he was let off easy that day on the field. When the two had gone before the previous commander for disciplinary action, he seemed genuinely surprised at the fact Vega was still alive, let alone walking and conscious. “Thank whatever being you believe in marine,” he had said, “Something must have had him in a good mood.” The very fact that that _something_ was, in fact, _someone,_ and that _someone,_ was, in turn, _Esteban_ , was all the more upsetting to him, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

Feeling Steve’s glare seeking an answer, he nodded, along with a pathetic, “OK,” and was released. He stood there, closer to his friend than he had ever been physically; their faces separated by mere centimeters. Still backed against the wall, his friend’s eyes boring into him, James felt an uncomfortable feeling gnawing at him. _So close,_ he thought, _he’s so close._ He could feel Steve’s breath hot on his neck, and was mesmerized by the way his chest was heaving, no doubt trying to regain his composure before company arrived. James shifted awkwardly, trying to bring his attention anywhere else. He settled for Steve’s face, which wasn’t much better because his expression was hard to read. Of course there was anger, or the remnant of it, but there was something else too, just barely visible beneath the surface. The moment was lost however when the door whooshed again.

“Hey Steve, I hope you like rum. I got dragon berry, because I remembered that time-am I interrupting something?” Robert paused in the doorway, bottle in hand and his eyes darting from man to man, “I…could go if you two need a moment.” The pain was evident in his voice, even to Vega, and neither of the two men was fooled by the smile he forced.

It was James who spoke while Steve floundered for a justification. “Nah, no moment necessary, I was just leaving.” Robert stepped aside to let him out the door, “Enjoy your evening my friends.” He said the last bit on his way out giving one last glance to Steve and a nod to Robert. As he passed the other man, he made the decision that since Steve wanted him, that was enough.

At a loss for words, Robert slowly crossed the short entryway to the small table in the living area and set the bottle down, keeping his eyes on Steve the whole way. Gulping down his anxiety and trying to project confidence in his voice he started, “You know, I understand if you-“

“I want you,” Steve interrupted with a wave of his hand and his eyes locked with Robert’s. There was firmness in his voice that Robert hadn’t heard before and he shivered as it reached his ears and tickled that part of his being that for so long had been neglected. “I invited you over so you could have a relaxing evening and Vega just barged in like he does sometimes. And before you go to assuming things, no we don’t have anything going on, and no we never had.” All this was said as Steve crossed the room to Robert and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Now, I would be thoroughly disappointed if you don’t sit down and enjoy a nice hot meal.” To punctuate his statement, he gave Robert a peck on the lips and moved to sit down.

Robert followed suit, his mood improving from when he first walked in. It was true that he thought there could have been something between the other two, and why not? Vega was younger, hotter, and most of all, mentally stable, if not a little slow on the uptake sometimes. Why on Earth would Steve pick him over Vega?

“He’s not my type.”  

 _Did I say that out loud?_ His horror must have been written all over his face.

“Don’t be surprised. It’s obvious what anyone would be thinking walking in and seeing their…well, what would you call us? Anyway, that’s not important. What’s important is that you’re here, the chicken and rice are getting cold and we have a movie to watch.” He picked up his fork and knife and began to slice into the meat. The cut practically fell away from the fork, its juices seeping from the piece and into the rice. He lifted the fork and brought it to his mouth, pausing before popping it in long enough to ask, “Are you going to have any? Or are you just excited to see me putting some meat in my mouth?”

This was the last push Robert needed. He shook off the rest of his funk and dove into the meal. _It’s so tender,_ he thought as his knife melted through his piece. He slowly raised his, and seeing the expectant look on Steve’s face, took his first bite.

It was DELICIOUS! It was seasoned to perfection, and with just the right amount of moisture. Never had he tasted anything as good as this, well nothing save the man who prepared it. He wanted to compliment Steve, sing odes to his culinary skills, but his tongue was in the throes of rapture and he couldn’t even think straight. Where the hell does someone learn to cook like this?

“Well it’s good to know that I can get you this worked up over my cooking. It’ll save me a few trips to your office I bet.”

“Not a chance. This just means you’ll have to bring some with you.”

“Oh so you want me to fill you up twice then?”

“Who said it would only be twice? And who said you would be the only one filling?”

 _This is good. I could get used to this,_ Robert thought. The conversation flowed and dinner and drinks were savored and sipped. Steve moved to clear the dishes, but Robert beat him to the punch, grabbing his plate and stealing a kiss while doing so. He set them in the sink and turned to Steve. “You said we had a movie? What did you get?”

“Oh it’s that new scary movie, _Sole Survivor_. You heard of it?” he was practically bouncing with anticipation, his eyes wide and excited.

“Uh…no. I don’t really keep up with what’s out.”

“Well sit down, cause I’ve been waiting to watch this all week.”

Steve was the first to the couch. He sat on the middle cushion, forcing Robert to sit on the cushion adjacent to him on either side. Robert chose the left side.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Did what on purpose?” Steve feigned is innocence with a dramatic hand to his chest. Robert rolled his eyes knowing that that was going to be the end of it.

“Just start the movie,” he said with an obviously over-exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes for good measure. Settling in, he stretched his right arm along the back of the couch, and Steve, again in an effort to impress his intentions on his date, scooted over and leaned in to his chest.  Robert stiffened at the sudden contact, his jaw clenched.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. You look like Admiral Hackett just called you in for a dressing down.”

“I’m fine. Really. It’s just not something I’m used to. Yet.”

That last word was all Steve needed to hear before starting the movie.


	2. Soul Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's true what they say: oftentimes life imitates art.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized, the more I write this, the more in love I fall with Robert as a character. It's going to hurt so much when the inevitable happens.

 

 

_He’s so warm,_ Steve thought as the movie started, having adjusted from where he was sitting moments ago. His head now rested on Robert’s thigh, and he could practically hear the fabric tearing as it was stretched thin across the strong muscle. He couldn’t contain a hum of pleasure as Robert absently traced patterns on his head with his fingertips, each stroke sending a jolt and a shiver down his spine. He had been with a few men, but none of them had found this secret spot before. Hell even _Steve_ didn’t know about this spot until tonight. Just when he thought he had gotten used to the sensation, Robert squeezed and a surge of ecstasy caused Steve to let out an audible gasp.

“You ok down there?”

“I’m fine,” Steve managed to whisper. Clearing his throat he continued, “It’s just not a feeling I’m used to. Yet.” He glanced up, hoping that Robert would catch the irony of him using the same phrase he himself had used just moments before. If he did, he gave no indication, but Steve thought he saw a slight twitch in his lips as he struggled to suppress a smile. Steve shifted again, to get a better view of the screen. So far, they had managed to get through a couple of previews: a new _Blasto_ movie coming out and the entire collection (Special Deluxe Director’s Extended Ultra-Def Edition!) of _Fleet and Flotilla._

The credits ended and the movie got underway. Opening with a panning shot of a military barracks, the young soldiers went through various drills while the voiceover intimated that this was based on a true story. A gorgeous man, presumably the main character, entered the frame in a close shot after a rough day in the field. As the camera panned slowly up his rigid frame, taut with muscle and tanned to a golden hue, Steve laughed as he realized just how the effort of the cinematographer was nearly lost on him; seeing as how he could and often did see better physiques on an almost daily basis. Except for the one he was currently resting on.

The more he thought about it, the more it irked him. Robert wanted to take time; that was fine and Steve could respect that. He could respect it more if he had been given a reason, but Robert never offered one. Mulling it over though, Steve never had asked, so he mentally shrugged and concluded he really couldn’t be too upset. _Either way,_ he mused, _I’ll bring it up somehow tonight._

“Wow.” So Steve wasn’t the only one pondering the view. “What’s this guy’s name? He looks just like Shepard.”

Did he really just refer to man as Shepard? As if he _knew_ him? Steve coughed, but couldn’t quite keep the sarcasm out of his voice, “Well, I didn’t know you and _SPECTRE Shepard_ , were on such friendly terms. Should I invite him over next time? Maybe you could swap stories over whisky.”

Raising himself up, so he could see Robert’s face, he was startled by the completely solemn expression set upon his features. Close enough to feel the heat radiating from his countenance; the moment lasted for just a pulse. In that fleeting spell, however, there was anger, the likes of which Steve had never seen in his lover. It blazed in his irises, transforming the normal rubicund orbs to a fury coated crimson. Under that however, and only visible if one knew where to find it, was the unmistakable touch of pain. It pushed into him, writhing as it seized his heart in cold tendrils. _Robert, what’s wrong?_

The moment ended and Robert started to turn his head away. Steve reached up, cupping his left cheek in his right hand and gently pulled him close. Their lips feathered against each other, and Steve moved his hand from his cheek to the base of Robert’s neck, caressing the skin fringing the implant. This elicited a shudder from the other man and Steve took that moment to swing his right leg over Robert’s lap, straddling him.

It wasn’t long before he could feel Robert growing under him, felt his hands sliding across his back, kneading him as they found purchase with every muscle they passed. Steve dipped his head, starting with pecks on Robert’s chin and working his way across his jaw. The rumble that came from the man below him ignited his desire and Steve wanted _more._ His back arched and he lifted his hands over his head as Robert relieved him of his top. Again, strong hands gripped him, pulling him close. He moaned as the hands returned to his body, journeying down his back, fingers dancing wisps of bliss in their wake. They reached lower, lingering in the sensitive area at the small of Steve’s back. He sighed, quivering at the light touch, when suddenly everything stopped.

“Steve? What’s this movie about?” The question came out of nowhere, and Steve had completely forgotten why they had ended up on the couch in the first place. He was getting more than fed up with the constant stop and go of this relationship though.

“Really? You’re still interested in the movie? Here you are, with a hot guy on your lap and you’re askin’ about a damn movie?” The annoyance was thinly veiled, but even as his temper was flaring, some part of Steve recognized there was an unusual timbre in Robert’s voice.

“What is the movie about?” It wasn’t a question; it was a plea. Huffing, Steve pulled up the synopsis on his omni-tool.

“Based on a true story, a marine unit is sent to investigate when a colony pioneer team loses contact. Led by the up and coming Lieutenant Sean Pastor (Marc Vandermeer), the team must fight for their lives while searching for clues to the missing inhabitants in a race against time. When the dust clears and the sun rises, who will be the _Sole Survivor_?” Steve finished the sentence with an exasperated sigh and sent Robert a pointed glance. Fearful red eyes returned the look.

“We shouldn’t watch this.”

“I wasn’t really planning on finishing. Well the movie that is,” he punctuated his statement with a tug on Robert’s quickly flagging member.

“I’m serious Steve.” Robert shifted, lightly placing Steve back on the couch and stood up, hands falling to his sides. The look on his face was somber and his voice was wavering. Steve rose from the seat, hands reaching forward and pulling at the hem of the other man’s shirt.

“OK. Ok. We don’t have to watch it. I’m really not interested in the movie right now anyway.” Steve moved his hands underneath the fabric of Robert’s shirt. He wanted to feel what Robert felt like when he trembled from Steve’s touch; to feel that which he had been denied for these past few months. He pressed his fingers to the warm flesh underneath and recoiled when those strong hands from before now held his wrists firmly in their grasp.

“What the Hell is wrong with you now?!?” It was the last straw. “What are you playing at Robert? We’ve been at this for some time now, and every time I take a step forward, you take two back! We only meet when you want to, in the places you pick. I have no problem with the fact that you want to take things slow, but I need more than just...your presence. I need some effort here. I mean, I still haven’t even seen you naked goddammit!” He spat out the last word, knowing it all sounded childish, but at the moment he didn’t care. His meaning was clear. He crossed his arms and stood contrapposto; his blue eyes leveling a fierce scowl.

“I know. And before you say anything else,” Robert started, cutting Steve off with a finger to his lips, “I just want to say I’m sorry. It’s just, well; it has to do with the movie.”

“What the HELL does this damn movie have to do with this? With us?” Steve violently threw his arms wide, addressing the unspoken chasm that had always separated them. He could barely form his words through gritted teeth.

“It’s not the movie per se…it’s what the movie’s about.” Robert shifted uneasily on his feet, folding his left arm over his right in a defensive posture. He began to nervously rub his shoulder as he continued. “What I’m about. I don’t want to watch the movie because,” –a pause as he swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment, and Steve’s expression softened as he felt the uncertainty ebbing from him. “I don’t need to see the movie…because I was there.”

Whatever compassion he was starting to feel instantly dissipated because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. Shaking his head and waving away Robert’s statement dismissively with every word, he managed to compose himself enough to groan, “Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. First you imply that you know Commander Shepard, and then you tell me you were at Akuze? We all know that Shepard was the only one who survived. What kind of idiot do you take me for?” The anger was swelling within him again.

“I’m telling you the truth.” There was sincerity in Robert’s voice and it stretched across the space between them, skeins of hope cast to his being and Steve was torn by the appeal. Robert then reached for Steve’s arms, his hands shaking and his eyes glistening with moisture, and guided his hands back to his shirt. “I know you’ve been patient, and it means so much to me. I could never express just how grateful I am that you’ve been willing to endure this…for so long.” His eyes were brimming now, his voice wavering as he trudged through his heartfelt confession. “I just wanted to be sure I was ready. Steve, you’re such a good man, and there are much more deserving people-” his words were arrested by Steve’s lips pressing into his own, his tongue brushing the seal. His arms wrapped around Robert’s neck and he stood on his toes to bring them even closer. Their kiss was soft, encouraging, and just what he needed.

“I already told you earlier Robert. I want you.” Steve cooed, not pulling his mouth away. Being close to him seemed to give Robert strength.

“I know what everyone thinks about me; what they must think of you for being with me,” Robert whispered as he struggled to continue his eyes falling to the floor. “Everyone at the top knows about me, what I went through, but officially, it never happened. No records, no data. So I get the reputation of being the crazy marine, with only the physical marks as a reminder.” His voice trailed off as his gaze rose anxiously.

Upon hearing this last sentence, and seeing the worry in Robert’s eyes, Steve gripped the cloth and reassured him, “I’ve been here this long; a few scars won’t scare me away.” He reached under Robert’s shirt again, feeling his breath catch as he made contact for the second time. Instinctively, the other man gripped his wrists again. Patiently, Steve waited for his cue to continue. It seemed to take forever, with halting breaths and whispered apologies. He met Robert’s eyes, overflowing with emotion, and held there, anchoring him to the moment. He could see the struggle in Robert’s face, the need to be touched, allowing himself to remove another layer of armor, battling with apprehension. After an eternity, his grip loosened and Robert gave a light nod. Slowly, Steve raised his arms, guiding the cloth up the long torso and over his head. He stepped back as Robert pulled free and lowered his arms, the shirt still firmly grasped in his hands. His breath caught, and he blanched unconsciously, unable to tear his eyes from the sight in front of him.

Neck to navel (and a few straggling marks beyond that, from what Steve could tell) his entire upper body was a mosaic of scars. The most visible was thick and raw; a black monstrosity bordered by discolored flesh that reminded Steve of a charred piece of equipment after receiving damage from an Overload burst. It began at his left collarbone, just under where a shirt would be, and seared along in a curve, moving between his chest muscles, and over his breastbone. From there it slithered down to his navel and snaked right, travelling parallel with the ground, and then twisted again arcing high over his hip bone. It made one last turn to the ground and disappeared into the waistband of his pants.

It was a ghastly sight, the serpentine mutilation coiling around various smaller scratches, wounds and welts, as if a stroke left by a sadistic artist to sign his canvas. Steve’s attention was carried back to his lover as he saw the leviathan writhing before him. The tremors were coming from Robert, who ostensibly had seen Steve’s first reaction and had lost the ability to restrain his emotions any longer. The first tear surfaced in his left eye and like the man from whom it was produced, delayed its release for as long as possible.

* * *

 

So there it was; the reaction he hoped he wouldn’t see, but had expected nonetheless. Steve’s face held a mix of horror and pity and Robert could feel his eyes tracing across his body. He felt more vulnerable than he had in a long while, unable to mentally defend himself from the assaults of signals coming from the pilot. He was standing in another man’s territory, and it was terrifying.

He squeezed his fist, thankful he had thought to hold on to his shirt. As soon as Steve was finished scrutinizing him, he was going to snatch it back on and tear out of this place. _I never should have let it come this far. What was I thinking? Of course he’s disgusted. Who wouldn’t be?_ Robert knew every scar by heart, had memorized where and how he got each one and who was responsible. He had to make up stories about more than a few of them because these had no owner except for the one who bore them, and those were the hardest to think about because they reminded him of how _weak_ he was, how unable he was to do any good that night or any time after.

His feelings then turned to Steve and how he had come into his life so gradually and abruptly so as to seem an idea, a seed that had been planted long ago and forgotten about, then returned to and found to be a tree on the cusp of bearing fruit. Yet he was quickly becoming more than that. For the first time since Akuze, Robert had a reason to keep going, other than the primal directive to live. He had faced death before, and was not one to willingly seek it out again, but at the same time, before Steve, there was no difference between simply existing and living.

The thought of losing a potential future because of a past that he had no control over was painful. He wanted to be angry, to let his rage engulf him and consume the world at large, but he couldn’t. He had already gotten his revenge, or was in the process of it when Shepard had come to Ontarum and wiped out a mercenary band. Their reunion was brief and seeing Shepard had affected Robert in more ways than he could have imagined. He was relieved to see that at least one other person had made it out of the slaughterhouse, but at the same time, a resentful hatred had exploded within him the moment he heard him speak.

Shepard had been promoted: _Lieutenant Commander_ , _how ironic_ , Robert thought. _He got his the hard way though, the right way. Not some back alley deal to fill a hole in the command structure so as not to appear unprepared_. Not only had Shepard been promoted, but made a SPECTRE; the first human to be given the honor.  And he had appeared with his crew, a Turian and an Alliance Lieutenant, Kaidan Alenko, on orders from the Alliance to take Robert out.

That’s what upset Robert the most about himself. He could never be seen as a competent soldier again and he knew that the only reason he was still allowed to serve was because the Alliance was unwilling to let such a resource go to waste. They saw the damage he could do if left unchecked, so top brass was more than happy to bend a few rules and fast track him for some promotions if it meant keeping _their_ interests safe.

But these things paled in comparison to the crux of Robert’s issue with the Commander. It wasn’t his promotions, or his ascension into the ranks of the SPECTREs. Shepard had earned those, and Robert respected that, even admired the man’s ambition and resolve to pull himself from a place like Akuze and climb the galactic ladder of influence.  These were done while Robert languished in a holding cell, awaiting the next round of torturous experiments to be inflicted upon him. No, Robert didn’t begrudge him these material things, things that had relinquished their meaning to him while his every fiber struggled just to hold on until the next breath either came, or was lost forever.

What Robert had loathed most about Shepard then was the Lieutenant.

Kaidan Alenko. Robert remembered him from BAaT, those terrible days at “Brain Camp”. Kaidan was too busy trying to chat up the resident superstar Rhana to notice him in any way, but Robert had developed a young boy crush on him. His heart would flutter when Alenko looked at him, his amber eyes seeming to soak in his very being. Back then, Robert could roll in his voice for days and never get bored, the crags of his chords pulling him deeper into their meanings than any of the few words he ever spoke.

The most they interacted was during some of the training exercises, though technically, they shouldn’t ever have been paired together due to their age difference. Vyrnnus however, was impressed (though he would never state it) at the abilities the two displayed and wanted to push them, see what they could master given a proper adversary. It was in those moments, their biotics clashing against one another, energies mixing and melding and breath and bodies hot and pointed, that Robert felt the other boy truly recognized him.

And here was Shepard, talking Robert down from shooting Dr. Wayne and completing his objective. The doctor was the last of the active members of the team responsible for his agony, but there was one more task on Robert’s list given to him by the agent of the Shadow Broker. All he had to do was kill the doctor and upload a program into his computer so the Broker can retrieve some very specific data. Robert’s mission had gone without a hitch; until his old squad leader marched in, crew in tow. As he and Shepard conversed, Robert would steal looks at Kaidan.

Whether or not Shepard was aware is irrelevant, because Robert knew. He _saw_ it. There was a worry written on the Lieutenant’s face, conveyed in his eyes that spoke feelings that he himself had probably not yet expressed. That look is what ignited Robert’s bitterness; it was another revelation of just how imbalanced the universe seemed to be against him. How he had pined for this man, longed to be the one to whom he gave himself and instead, he was here, standing next to the soldier who was the embodiment of everything Robert wasn’t, feeling things for him that he knew he shouldn’t, but because Robert knew the universe was against him, he knew it was going to work for them.

He had succumbed to the despair, lowering his weapon as he realized what he wanted, not only with Kaidan, but with _anyone_ was out of reach. He was damaged, a system that could only just perform its intended function and no one settled for _adequate_. Especially not when standing next to Commander Shepard. The months after that had seen Robert shuttled from outpost to outpost, serving in limited capacities as the complexity of his case worked its way through the various military and political organizations. It was how he ended up here, on Fehl Prime, babysitting local persons of interest before the Blood Pack invasion.

A dark firmament had settled over him, his mood and stability fluctuating violently from just mildly disinterested in life, to actively rejecting the world around him. And it was from those times that the man in front of him was gently drawing him. Steve Cortez: the right man to do it, as anyone else would have gotten it wrong. He was just the right amount of patient, prodding and provocative that Robert needed. Though he is a pilot, he always managed to keep himself grounded: a trait Robert needed as his mind and emotions were wont to spiral into a maelstrom of doubts and self-erasures.

Steve was a rock, a moor that Robert could cling to when the skies got rough, and in the short time they had been doing whatever it is they’ve been doing, he understood that this man is the most important thing in the world to him; and now he’s looking at him, with a face Robert’s seen a dozen times, the one where he sees a faulty piece of equipment and is deciding to either repair, repurpose, or requisition a new piece.

He saw a motion just out of his field of vision and was displeased to see how blurry everything was. The burn was familiar and it was with trepidation and shame that he realized he had been crying. _Great,_ he thought sourly, _now I’m not just a monster, I’m the crying monster._ He wanted to leave, to just end this charade. _Let him scream at me, tell me to go already, I can’t take this anymore_. Before he could move or say anything, he felt pressure against his back. There was moisture between his shoulders and a dark hand reached around him and alighted on his chest. It hesitated for a moment, seemingly lost. Stroking around his collarbone, it found its target.

Steve’s fingers skimmed the beginning of the scar, the streak that came to represent everything Robert found tarnished about him.  Deliberately, they followed the trail, pausing at the space closest to his heart. There they lingered, Robert uncertain of what was happening, but wholeheartedly melting at the fact that Steve was still here, still behind him, steadying him.

“Steve?” he asked after a few moments. _What are you doing?_ His voice was meek, withered by anxiety and stained with the remnants of his tears.

He felt lips as they brushed against his back. Again, fingers followed the path carved into his flesh and Steve brought his left hand up, taking Robert’s hand from his side and entwining their fingers, then placed them it directly over Robert’s heart this time. 

“I want you to know that while I can feel this,” Steve began, flexing their hands against Robert’s chest, “this doesn’t matter to me,” he slid his fingers down the scar. “You’re more than what you have been through. You know, you’re a lot tougher than you look.” Another kiss, and a sob, “And besides, I know you went easy on them.”

 Robert smiled, a small one, remembering them as the first words he had the pleasure of hearing from Steve. This man, supporting him now, was able to navigate through the tempest that was Robert’s spirit and bring him back to the world. He was a one man crew, a captain of all things positive for Robert. His voice was low, little more than a whisper, but still carried all of the velvet and spicy tones Robert had come to…

 

 

To…

_Love_ …

It was then, at that moment, that Lieutenant Commander Robert Toombs admitted to himself that he was in love. He didn’t find the thing that he had been looking for, because it had found him, sought him out and planted itself in his path.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to add more and continue the chapter, but something told me to just let it go. The ending seemed so...complete. To me at least. Hope you guys enjoy.


	3. Homeostasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert finally relaxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!! NSFW!!! NSFW!!!
> 
> So this chapter took me longer to upload than I wanted. Also, it wasn't meant to be a sex scene, but they decided they wanted to get it on, and who was I to stop them? Also it's my first explicit writing ever, so if there are any suggestions, please don't hesitate.
> 
> EDIT: While writing the next chapter, I realized it would make more sense to combine the beginning with this one. So no, it's not chapter 4 (yet) but the continuation of Robert and Steve's night.

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Steve said, his voice carrying no trace of embarrassment.

Robert was silent, not yet trusting his mouth to voice an opinion without hurting Steve’s feelings. His eyes darted from the other man to the unseemly sight in front of him. Really, it didn’t bother him so much as he just couldn’t reconcile what he was seeing with the normally cool and collected man he had come to know. It was like seeing a favorite celebrity in person, and recognizing them without the makeup and digital enhancements normally layered into a photo. After collecting his thoughts, Robert finally replied, “Steve, where is your floor?”

He looked down to where the carpet should have been. Instead of the dull pattern found in all the rooms, there were piles of clothes strewn all over, with one clear path from the bed to the door. At first glance there seemed to be no pattern, but Robert was sure, just like everything else about the man, there had to be a methodology. Steve’s bed was unmade, the pillows lying where they had been haphazardly tossed. From what he could see though, it’s not like the room was _dirty_ , it was just untidy.

Spying the standard issue desk on the opposite side of the room from where he stood in the doorway, part of Robert wanted to believe that this would more closely resemble the near immaculate terminal at which he had seen Steve working, among doing other things, from time to time. Instead, what used to be a stack of papers was scattered across the surface, seeming as if to make an escape out of the window. Datapads cluttered the remaining space, their interfaces vying for attention while flashing messages and reports.  Surrounding those were various trinkets and gadgets that he had been tinkering with, their components exposed and tangled. Robert couldn’t help but smile, the grin slowly reaching across his face as he saw Steve, standing in the midst of all the chaos, with his hands on his hips and a challenging look in his eye. It was the perfect visual for how Robert envisioned his life and Steve’s place in it.

“So you invited me over, but didn’t bother to clean your room?”

“Do you want to stay or not,” the question was sharp.

 _So he is embarrassed!_ Robert thought. He chose his next words carefully, knowing that they would provoke a response from his lover. Whether the response was positive or negative, he wasn’t so sure. As he entered the room, moving toward Steve and nearly tripping over a combat boot in the process, he put on his most endearing look, widening his eyes and softening his features. He sidled up to him, wrapping him in his arms and dramatically pulled him close. With all of the gusto of an amateur Elcor reciting Shakespeare, he tilted Steve’s head back and lunged forward while breathily whispering, “I’ve been here this long; an unmade bed isn’t going to scare me away.”

Going along with Robert’s playful tone, Steve brought his right hand up, wrist to forehead and swooned away. “Oh I’m so glad. But I must warn you,” he croaked while theatrically heaving his breaths. “You have yet to see the bathroom,” he finished, his body going limp in Robert’s arms.

With the both of them laughing, Robert brought them back to standing. Since his self-realization earlier in the evening, everything had changed. _No that’s not right,_ he corrected himself. Really nothing had changed, just the way he perceived things. Before, he had thought of Steve as a diversion, not because he didn’t want to pursue anything with him, but because he was so sure that he couldn’t; that it wasn’t possible for someone like him to ever really be capable of having a deep emotional connection to another person. He thought he had walled himself off from the world, protecting himself from more pain. But now, as his eyes met with the other man’s, he couldn’t help but make a mental connection, one that his apparently psychic boyfriend was voicing.

“ _Red and Blue: A Tale of Two Soldiers._ That’s the name of our movie. What do you think?” Steve posited, as if serious. He had disentangled himself from Robert and was now sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed. His hands were behind him, holding his weight, and he cocked his head sideways, mulling over his statement.

“It’s not sensitive enough. Something like…” Robert tapped his foot as he tried to come up with words that were not only colors, but also kept the melodramatic mood they were toying with. “I know! How about, _Ruby and Sapphire_ : _Facets of the Heart_.” It’ll be a tear-jerker.” He made a crying face, pouting his lips as he moved to the edge of the bed. He stopped there, leaning forward and resting his hands on the mattress on either side of Steve who then uncrossed his legs and reached up, his hands behind Robert’s neck.

“I hope you can come up with something better,” he murmured, his lips brushing against Robert’s.

Hooking his right arm around his back, he lifted Steve off the bed while crawling forward. “I think I just did. How about _Me on You?_ ” Gingerly, he laid Steve back down and he lowered himself so that he was pressed flat against him. A moan escaped from him as Robert bent low, using his head to force Steve’s out of the way and sank his lips to the pulse point on his neck. He latched on; licking up and down the sensitive spot while the small body under him writhed in pleasure. This time, they both hardened together, the friction from Steve’s thrashing exciting them both.

Robert stayed there, at the crook in Steve’s neck, savagely suckling and slurping while he reached with his right hand down his body, nipping, squeezing and touching every part he had access to. He drew across his torso pinching his nipples and receiving a high pitched keen for his efforts. Steve bucked, and the fact that Robert knew it was he who was driving the man wild made him all the more aggressive.

It had never occurred to him just how deeply the effects of his physical appearance and affected him psychologically. Before, whenever they had gotten intimate, not only had Robert’s clothes always stayed on, which was given due to his need to keep his shame concealed, but he had always held himself back; never really indulging in the moment because if there was one thing he could maintain control of, it was himself. Steve never had to want for lack of attention, but Robert’s passions were reserved, timid almost; just enough to break the ice, but never hot enough to steam, let alone fully ignite like they were now. That changed however when Steve had accepted him flaws and all, and tonight, he was going to give him everything he had been forbidden. 

Robert rose up, sitting back on his haunches and surveyed the sight before him. Steve lay on his back, his head propped up by his left arm, right arm meandering down his body and his hand disappearing into his pants. Just his stare alone was enough to keep Robert aroused, let alone the thought of what he was actually going to do with him. A flash of worry passed through his mind. _What if I hurt him? Am I moving too fast?_ He tried to push those thoughts away before they took root and ruined the mood. He had come this far, he was not about to commit bedroom suicide now.

Again, Steve was able to pierce the veil and say exactly what Robert needed to hear.

“We don’t have to do this. I only planned for you to have a relaxing night, however that ended up. But if you are going to continue, just a little secret… _I’m not made of glass._ ” The last part was said in an exaggerated whisper, with one of Steve’s sultry chuckles at the end, the kind that sent chills down Robert’s spine and a tingle to other parts. His eyes narrowed and he bit his bottom lip while tracing his right hand back up his body and Robert noticed the little patch of wetness at the tip of the tent in Steve’s pants. He smiled, more like the leer of a hunter who has caught his prey, and Steve’s fate was sealed.  

He went back to his task with fervor, abandoning the pulse point and kissing his way down his chest. He watched as goose bumps rose from the mixture of arousal and cool air. He reached the spot in-between Steve’s hip and abs and the man practically howled. _Another sensitive spot then?_ Robert was enjoying this. It was like being on an expedition, only you knew that everything you found would be valuable. While he lingered on the point, treating it with the same savagery as he had Steve’s neck, he was sure the sheets were going to be ripped from all of his lover’s tossing about. He gave a small nip, and again Steve bucked, a string on unintelligible words (although he was pretty sure some of them were in Portuguese) pouring from him.

“I don’t know what that was, but I’m liking what I hear,” Robert said, having halted his assault. Steve laid silent, breaths coming in gasps as he tried to collect himself to answer. He didn’t get the chance however as Robert moved on, tugging the on Steve’s pants and pulling them down to his knees. His erection sprang out, flopping away from its confines and landed on his stomach, bouncing a few times, sending drops of pre-cum speckling out. It was longer and thicker than would have looked proportional to his short and slender stature, but by no means was it monstrous or unwieldy. In fact, it was perfect, just enough for Robert to enjoy the challenge of taking it all down his throat on the first try.

With his right hand, he took hold of the base and leaned forward, bringing his lips just into range of the tip. He stopped there, teasing Steve with the warmth of his breath, signaling the feel of what’s to come. Squeezing the tip, he milked just a little more pre-cum and rubbed his hand over the surprising amount that had already been released. Slowly, he started stroking, making sure to run his hand along the entire shaft and twist his wrist when he reached the head. He took his left hand and reached up; running his fingertips softly along Steve’s skin, just faint enough for the touch to register. The combination of sensations again had Steve twisting in the sheets, his legs shaking around Robert’s head.

After a few teasing strokes, he couldn’t resist any longer and finally engulfed Steve. His rhythm built as he bobbed up and down taking Steve deeper with each go. With both hands free, he continued his tactile stimulation and Steve could only squirm and moan in response. He looked up, taking in the sight of his handiwork, reveling in the sounds and gasps echoing off the walls. Taking a deep breath, Robert opened his throat and swallowed Steve to the hilt, with only a small gag in the process.

“Meu Deus!”  came his acknowledgement, a breathy sound from above. Robert stopped, and rose from his place. He started at Steve’s navel and kissed, licked and slurped his way up his body, again pausing to tease his nipples. He felt his head being lifted as Steve cupped his face and brought him in for a deep and vicious kiss. Their tongues grappled, wrestling in a ferocious dance. It was winner takes all, and loser takes it all.

He couldn’t be sure, but Robert had a suspicion that Steve had let him win. Blue eyes emblazoned with lust drew him in as the kiss was broken. He was released and Steve pushed off the bed, twisting his body and Robert allowed himself to be rolled over. He lay on his back, Steve straddling him. Now that he had unrestricted access to Steve’s body, he resumed his ministrations, dusting his fingers all over. Steve shivered, and he couldn’t keep back his smile. _He’s so sensitive. Just a touch here-_ a gasp- _or here-_ a tremble _\- and I‘ve got him goin’ crazy!_ It was a divine revelation.

Suddenly, his hands were grasped and pinned to the bed, outstretched above his head.

“You’ve had your fun. Now it’s MY turn.”

Steve was a more sensual partner. He took his time, lazily pecking his way around Robert’s body, starting just under his chin, and running down his neck. There was a pause, as he looked at the scar and for a brief second Robert worried that he was reconsidering. Instead, he sank to Robert’s chest, and kissed the beginning. His lips followed the mark, kissing all the way down to where it turned and then licked until it disappeared into Robert’s pants.

“It seems you’re a little overdressed for the occasion. I’ll go ahead and fix that for you,” he said, voice dripping with desire. With no further conversation, he moved to the lower half of the bed and unbuttoned Robert’s jeans. As they slid off, Robert saw the look of surprise on Steve’s face. He was aware he had just a few more scars down there, but nothing like the one on his chest. He was also sure it wasn’t his size that was so interesting; he knew that he wasn’t too big or too small himself. Seeing his lover’s face turn from surprise into amusement however, clued him into what was really the issue.

“So…the carpet doesn’t match the drapes huh?” a snicker followed the question.

 _Two can play this game,_ Robert thought. “What’s the old saying? Oh right, blondes have more fun? Well he’s blonde, so…show him a good time.”

“Is that an order _Commander?_ ”

“Damn straight it is.”

To symbolize his “authority”, he palmed the back of Steve’s head and guided him down.

He watched as Steve sucked in his cheeks. Robert had never seen anyone do this before going down on someone and he was a little bit curious about why. He repeated twice before Robert finally asked what he was doing.

“Trust me, it’s worth it.”

There was a very audible gasp from him as Steve’s mouth wrapped around him and he felt he had dipped himself into a pool of heaven itself. Within a few moments of his entrance, he was completely coated and slick. Steve was methodical, paying extreme attention to his task. He started at the tip; swirling around it like a lollypop. He worked in a slow spiral, covering the entire head with swirling motions and Robert moaned, clenching the sheets when he felt the pressure change as Steve started “chewing” on him, using his tongue and the roof of his mouth.

Waves of pleasure washed through him as Steve established a leisurely pace. Going down all the way and coming back up with a press of his tongue. His toes curled when Steve pulled his lips back under his teeth, creating an even firmer feel. Still Steve continued, downing Robert and using his hands to fondle him as well.  

Showing his experience, he too took Robert to base, undulating along the shaft along the way. With Robert lodged firmly in his throat, he licked his tongue out and ran it along the underside of his balls. A strong feeling of consummation began to envelop Robert as Steve worked on his prize, worrying him as a dog would a bone. He felt the calm spreading throughout his body, relaxing him and he offered himself to it, ready to accept the release that he had been seeking for so long. At the same time however, a familiar and welcome sensation started at his base and he stiffened even more. His nerves were on fire and every slurp and lick brought him closer to the edge.

 He was so close, his body ready to loose his seed. In the back of his mind, there was a feeling of foreboding growing. A feeling of something he forgot to do. _Doesn’t matter, I’ll figure it out later._ He was lost in the sensation, his breathing becoming more and more ragged as his pleasure built a tidal wave ready to crest. In fact his whole world was tinged in a blue hue as he prepared to-

“STEVE STOP!” he roared, grabbing the other man by the shoulders and hauling him up, throwing him onto the bed. Steve’s eyes were wide with surprise at the sudden act and he let out a soft yelp as his head bumped the wall.

“I’m…s…sorry…” Robert struggled to say between uneven breaths. “Need…to…calm down. Was…gonna…blow…” his voice faltered as the last words fell from his lips.

Instead of an angry reproach, he felt the soft reverberations from Steve’s chuckle as it traveled through the mattress.

“First off, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe _I_ was the one doing the blowing,” his eyes glinted with devious humor. “And secondly, that was kind of the point of this whole deal.”

Still trying to walk back from the edge, Robert couldn’t do more than a half-assed chortle. His breaths were still irregular, body fighting against losing the feeling of relief it was so close to attaining. It was like waiting for water to drain from a sieve; agonizingly slow and so tempting to dive in and indulge oneself even more. When he finally regained most of his faculties, he took a breath and turned to Steve, his flushed skin matching his hair.

“It’s nothing serious,” he said, catching Steve’s inquisitive gaze. “And we are going to continue,” he added, licking his lips. He rolled over onto his left side, supporting his head with is arm, so as to properly face him, and leaned in for a kiss. He was denied with a deft bob of Steve’s head and a playful slap to his right cheek.

“Nuh unh. Tell me what’s up.” There was just a small undercurrent of worry.

“It’s not serious; nothing to worry about. I just forgot my amp is still in.”

The look of confusion on Steve’s face was priceless as his eyebrows furrowed together and he scrunched his face tight, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’ve never slept with a biotic before, have you?” Steve shook his head slowly, his interest piqued.  Robert grinned and continued, “I put the last guy in the hospital with a broken nose.”

“Wha…a broken nose? But how?”

“Without an amp, most biotics aside from Asari wouldn’t be able to do much,” Robert explained. “I use a Savant X, military grade; one of the strongest on the market. It allows me to take on nearly anything, but with the lack of control due to certain activities…I could really end up hurting someone.”

“So…what happens now?”

“We wait a few minutes before I can take it out, then we get back to business.”

Steve inched over, snuggling into Robert’s side. He reached out and stroked his face, drawing around his cheekbones and running his fingers to his lips. Robert popped his mouth open and sucked in his finger gnawing on it teasingly.

“Why do we have to wait? What happens if you were to take it out now?” Steve laced his voice with just a touch of whine, and put on his best puppy eyes.

“I don’t know of any cases personally, but there’s always the story about the guy who knows the guy who didn’t let his amp cool down, and when he went to take it out, he blew all the eezo nodes in his body.”

There was silence as Steve considered the information. The sky had grown dark outside, and the moonlight was filtering through the blinds, casting dancing shadows around the room. Still leaning on his arm, Robert threw his other one around Steve and pulled him closer. He rolled onto his back and leaned up, trying again for a kiss. This time he wasn’t rejected, and their lips came together in a tender union. Again, he stroked Steve’s back, giving him shivers.

“I thought we had to wait for you to “recover”.” _God I love his voice_.

“Recovery is one of my strong points. Power is the other,” he growled. He sat up, rolling Steve over and got off the bed. “Do you have any alcohol? I didn’t bring my case.”

“Yeah. There’s some in the bathroom, under the sink.”

After filling a glass from the kitchen and picking up the alcohol from the bathroom (which was in fact spotless), he returned to the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Steve crawled up behind him and rested his chin on Robert’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around him and gave him a soft peck on his cheek.

“I can’t reach it if you’re right there.”

“Oh.  Right. Sorry,” Steve repositioned himself beside Robert. “Does it hurt; when you take it out?”

“No, it’s like…,” Robert, paused a moment, seeking an apt comparison. “It would be like putting in a piercing I guess. You can feel it as it goes in, but…,” he stopped not knowing exactly how to finish the thought. He reached back with both hands and Steve craned his neck to get a good look.

The implant itself was very noticeable, about 3 centimeters in diameter. It was jet black, a stark contrast to the pale skin and red hair around it. There were two levers on the left and right sides which Robert was now expertly squeezing between his thumb and forefinger of his left hand. This disengaged the auto –seal and a metallic blue bulb was now exposed and partially ejected. With his right hand, he pulled it out, and Steve heard his breath catch once it was fully removed. Quickly, he then dropped it in the alcohol solution and released the latches. The seal closed and Robert turned to face him.

“You ok? You look like you have something to say.” Robert knew that it could be a little disconcerting to watch someone open their head and pull out a battery.

“That was…interesting,” Steve managed. He looked from Robert to the glass, watching as a blue field emitted from the device. “What’s it doing now?”

“It’s a decontamination field. Amps help modulate biotic powers, and they store a bit of energy too. When removed, the energy is converted into a mini Barrier to keep contaminants away. Depending on how much energy is stored, the field can last almost a day.”

Robert eyed Steve, searching for a hint of what the man was thinking. His features were contemplative and he was staring into the distance. A mischievous twinkle sparked in his eyes as he turned to Robert. His mouth was hardly open before Robert interrupted him.

“Absolutely not,” he said, waving his hand and shaking his head to give his words more emphasis.

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“Ah, but I do. You were going to suggest we try and spice it up. Use a little bit of biotics in the bedroom. Amiright?” Robert couldn’t help the smug look on his face and in his voice.

Crestfallen, Steve answered, “And why not?”

“I told you earlier, my strengths are power and recovery. I don’t have the control or stamina to make it worthwhile for either one of us.” Saying it out loud made it sound even worse than when he had thought about it earlier himself. And now he had to know. “Does that change anything? Do you-”

“Why are you always so hard on yourself?” Steve rolled his eyes and leaned into Robert’s shoulder. “It was just a thought, nothing more. It had never occurred to me that it could even be possible to mix the two until tonight." He punctuated the statement with a kiss and leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. “So _Commander_ , how much longer until we resume our mission?” Robert was stunned to see Steve was still very much at attention.

“Let’s get started,” he said, tackling Steve to the bed. “Now turn over flyboy.”

“So you think just because you’re a big, strong soldier, that I’m just supposed to turn over and give it up?”

“Yea. That’s exactly how this is going to work.”

* * *

Steve knew Robert could eat. It was the price he paid for being a powerful biotic and an active soldier. The man had an appetite like a starving Krogan with the matching table manners to boot. The first time they had gone out for lunch together, Steve had almost left him sitting by himself. But when Robert looked up at him with marinara sauce dripping from his fingers and mustard smeared around his mouth with a childlike delight in his eyes, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Besides, he couldn’t really judge, considering how he always kept his room.

But none of that was bothering him now. Not only had he come to actually enjoy Robert’s enthusiasm for dining (especially like tonight when Steve’s cuisine was what he was scarfing down), but at the moment all that hunger was being focused on him. And he loved every second of it. He moaned and tried to arch his back to get more, but two firm hands clasped the back of his thighs and pushed them back down into the bed. He was lying prone on the bed, his arms crossed under his face and Robert was behind him, face buried deep in his most intimate space.

After their banter about Steve giving it up, Robert had rolled him over out of impatience.

_“And what do you think you’re doing back there?” Steve had asked, having more than a rough idea. He just wanted Robert to say it. Mostly because this was honestly something he had never thought the man would do._

Now here he was, again in the throes of ecstasy because of the mouth of the quietest man on the colony. Steve rose up just a little and turned his head to see Robert looming above him, surveying his body. He watched as Robert’s gaze caressed his form, memorizing his every curve. Then Robert bent low, and rested his head on the two mounds of flesh that he had previously had been devouring.

“So soft. Like pillows,” he whispered, “I might just lay here all night.” He reached up and ran his hand along Steve; starting as high as he could, drifting into the small of his back and then jumping his hand off his cheeks like a Mako making a daredevil leap. Steve felt his muscles bounce, rippling back and forth before settling into position.  He wiggled, causing them to jiggle once more. A growl rumbled through him as Robert again pressed his mouth with zeal to the man before him.

His tongue was warm and moist as it lapped at Steve’s entrance. It was an erotic tickle sending jolts of pleasure racing through his nerves. Involuntarily he arched again, his body seeking more. Instead of clamping him down this time, the two strong hands from before spread him open, the sudden rush of the cool air and moisture from Robert’s mouth causing him to clinch tight.

“After all the hard work to open you up, you go and do that.” Robert let out an amused sigh, “I guess we have to start all over again.” Eagerly, he began on the left, nibbling from the top to the bottom and trailing over to the right. From there he kissed his way back to the cleft and Steve pushed back, hurrying him along. Robert seemed to take the hint and resumed his previous feasting.

It wasn’t long before Steve felt a push at his entrance. He took a breath, willing the muscle to relax, allowing Robert to insert a finger. His eyes slammed shut and he gritted his teeth as he was penetrated, not having been so in more time than he was willing to admit. He focused on breathing, to help his body loosen. _If this is what a finger feels like-_ his thought was interrupted by a surge of sensation as Robert began tensing and circling around inside him.

“You ok? You’re really tight. Are you sure you want to do this?” Steve was touched by the concern in his lover’s voice, “I don’t want to hurt you,” he finished, though he never stopped what he was doing.

Steve let out a breathy chuckle, “No it’s fine. It’s _ahhh! J_ ust _nnnmmmgggghh!_ Been a minute,” his words were catching in his throat as his vision blurred. Robert really went to town, going deeper and separating his fingers, teasing all over his inner cavity.

Robert’s weight pinned him to the bed, fingers deep inside him as his throaty voice brushed Steve’s ear, “How do you want me?” The question alone had his body seeking more, but the waves of lust that poured from Robert incited a need that he had never felt before. “Tell me Steve; tell me how you want me.” Even now, with Steve at his utter mercy, when he was able to exert his will as he wanted, he still kept his restraint. _Maybe one day he’ll trust himself enough._

“I…want to see you.”

“Then turn over. I’m not going anywhere.”

As he rolled over onto his back, Robert used the extra leverage to get just a little further in, causing Steve to cry out when he found that small spot deep inside.  He beckoned, brushing against Steve’s prostate each time and Steve couldn’t take much more.

“Robert…” was all he could utter, his mind going blank with every stroke inside of him. “ _Please!_ ” It was a whine, a plea of desperation and he grabbed Robert’s wrist and held him deep, while his fingers snapped around inside. There was a moment between when the prodding stopped and the fingers were removed when Steve felt empty. Fortunately he didn’t have to wait long before a welcome sensation rose from below.

He grabbed his ankles and spread his legs wide, allowing easier access. As the pressure from Robert’s welcome intrusion grew, Steve again took deep breaths, pushing against him and relaxing at the same time. The result was a pleasurably agonizing effect as the two joined. When the small band of muscle snapped over the tip, Robert groaned and leaned down.

“Damn. It feels so good. You’re so tight.” He twitched, getting used to the pleasure. It was like welcoming an old friend home; Robert slowly pushing into him and Steve accommodating him with little resistance. He buried himself to the hilt, stars exploding behind Steve’s eyes as he did so. When he was as deep as he could go, he paused, letting Steve adjust.

Steve looked up, locking eyes and wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck and his legs around his hips, With his hands he molded Robert’s rear and leaned up to kiss him. Their tongues again met, but this time in a sensual ballet, exploring each other’s mouths. When the danced ended, he caressed Robert’s cheek and whispered, “I’m ready.”

Robert was slow at first, both of them wanting to enjoy the newness of each other. He rocked back and forth, barely moving his hips, while he nibbled anywhere he could reach. Steve mimicked him, meeting each small motion with his own. From when they first began, he could feel the strokes as they began to lengthen and quicken.

Their bodies slid across one another and Steve shivered with excitement when Robert’s skin, slick with their shared sweat skated across his nipples. His nostrils flared and he salivated as he smelled the aromatic musk of their sex; a hint of ozone from Robert’s biotics with a touch of... _earthiness_. And it was with only slight embarrassment that he realized the high pitched whimpers were coming from _him_ and not just something that he was hearing as Robert’s laid into him, his hips now whipping back and forth.

He felt it building, that feeling in the core of his being. It was subtle at first, but the longer they went, the more he was sure. He shifted, wanting to feel as much as he could and when he did, his legs were brought up, resting against the outside of Robert’s chest, who now completely covered him, his left arm behind Steve’s head, and his right arm under his back, lifting him off the bed. The angle was perfect, with Robert now grazing Steve’s prostate with every thrust.

_I’m so close…_

_He’s so deep_

_This is it_

His eyes were shut tight as he was awash in the approach of his impending orgasm. His chest heaved as his breathing became irregular and his hands were digging into Robert’s back, nails leaving marks in their wake. It was then that he noticed two things: his body was tingling and Robert was murmuring something in his ear.

The tingling had begun on his chest where Robert was pressing against him. He opened his eyes to see Robert quivering, a blue aura surrounding him like a nebula, his eyes screwed shut and his words were so quiet as to barely be audible. Within the cloud of azure light floated various little things, papers, and the like, orbiting them erratically.

At first it sounded like he was saying, _I can, I can, I can_ , but after hearing it a few times, Steve realized it was the other way around, _Can I? Can I? Can I?_ He figured it wasn’t really directed at him, more like Robert’s thoughts being spoken aloud, but even so, he felt compelled to answer.

 _So this is what he means by losing control. He’s seeking permission from himself. He can’t bring himself to finish, scared of what he might be capable of._ Instead of fear, however, Steve felt sympathy. _It must be hard to be so afraid of hurting someone all the time._ He moved his hand up Robert’s back, taking care to brush the implant on the way and pulled his head down. He kissed his forehead, each eye, and then finally his lips.

“Yes. Yes you can,” he breathed as he readied himself. He didn’t know what to expect, but he knew Robert needed this.

His tempo increased from the gentle spasms he had slowed to as Robert sought his release. Again, each stroke pressed into Steve at just the right angle, quickly bringing him back to the edge. He felt the wave building again, his consciousness pulling within as he prepared to ride the explosion. His eyes were closed, but still the world burned blue as he knew Robert was getting closer. Static ran through his nerves from the buildup of the biotic energy and he could hear rustling as more papers and small objects were drawn to them. Somehow, he was even farther within Steve, meeting a depth that was beyond physical. It lasted an eternal moment, and then Robert roared.

Just before he climaxed, Steve felt one final pang from within, a biotic flare from Robert’s member right as he released. The surge happened at the same moment he was brushing against the sensitive organ within Steve again and this time there was no holding back. Steve came, his seed spilling all over his stomach as his inner muscles contracting, milking his lover.

The azure cloud exploded, shooting various objects to different areas of the room in a small, omnidirectional Shockwave, bouncing Steve against the bed with each blast. Robert spilled himself deeply, pulsing within Steve as the torrent of six years’ worth of constant vigil and pain was relieved.  With his exertions completed, he collapsed on the bed, and Steve knew he was just as mentally and emotionally exhausted as he was physically.

The silence between them was intense, but by no means uncomfortable. Steve was lying on his back, arms folded behind his head, on the inside of the bed. He was watching Robert as the man recovered on his stomach, drifting along on the remaining currents of his release, a content grin plastered on his face. His eyes opened lazily and his voice was heavy with exhaustion when he finally spoke.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t think it would be so intense,” he was looking at Steve with concern, possibly trying to assess any potential damage, bodily or otherwise, he may have caused.

Smiling, Steve replied, “What are you apologizing for Mr. Toombs? That was Ahh-mazing! I’m just waiting for this rapid recovery I was told about.”

“Oh it’s there. Just not right now. That was…a lot.”

“I know.”

“Steve…Thank you.”

“For what?”

Robert paused, taking a deep breath and his eyes darted around the room and over Steve’s body. Finally he met Steve’s gaze and exhaled. “Thank you for loving me.”

“I don’t recall saying that,” Steve countered, his eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. In reality, he knew what Robert said was true, but there was no way he could have known…

“But you do. Why else would you put up with me, and then let me…let what just happened happen, if you didn’t?”

“Maybe I enjoy the thrill of danger.”

“Maybe…” He rolled on his back and pulled Steve on top of him.

“Or maybe I do love you.” Steve hesitated, parsing his thoughts. _Do I love him? We haven’t been seeing each other for that long._ He thought about it for a few moments, and then decided, yes, yes he did love Robert. Maybe it wasn’t a deep fairytale, everlasting love, not yet anyway, but there was always room to grow.  Finally he responded, “Ok, so I do love you, but you can’t tell James. It would kill him to know there’s another man in my life.”

“You’re straddling the man who just rocked your world and you’re talking about someone else? Kinda bold don’t you think?”

“Maybe, but it’s one of the reasons you love me.” After a quick kiss Steve moved to get off the bed. As much as he loved sex, he didn’t like to stay covered in it until it got sticky. He didn’t get very far when Robert reached out and hauled him back to his chest.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

“I was going to get a towel to clean us up.”

“No-” a large yawn interrupted his sentence, “stay here with me,” Steve was hugged to Robert’s chest. “Besides, we’re just going to get messy again.”

 

* * *

 

He was physically drained, especially after the second and third rounds, but Robert’s mind was buzzing along in a constant euphoria. The moon was still casting shadows and the lights from all of the electronic devices were blending in an array of hues that clambered and clashed with one another. It was like an artificial aurora flickering along the wall. He closed his eyes, again trying to burn the images, and feelings, but most of all the unfamiliar and newly acquired, but most welcome weight that ran along his torso and entwined with his legs. He looked down, observing the slow rise and fall of Steve’s back as he dreamily slumbered. As he tried one more time to go to sleep, the mantra repeated in his mind:

_Comfortable: Yes_

_Content: Yes_

_Complete:…_

He smiled, nodding to himself and whispered out loud, “Yes.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up ASAP and it will include 1000% more of everyone's favorite muscle head!!!


	4. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A truth is revealed, and Robert relives his worst nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! New chapter! 
> 
> This one was a fun one to write. I was a bit scared to take on writing Vega, but I think he turned out alright. Anyway, if you didn't see the edit for last chapter, don't worry, that scene ended there.

“97…” His sweat clung to his brow in an attempt to defy the universal forces of motion and gravity.

“98…” His muscles ached, shooting spurts of pain in protest of the strain he was putting them through.

“99…” His tongue searched his mouth seeking any moisture it could find, his body yearning for the coolness of a refreshing drink.

“100!” His nervous system flooded with endorphins, a self-congratulatory response to finally having accomplished his goal: 100 pushups, one for each arm in less than 2 minutes.  He checked the time, and seeing 1:36 on the timer he grinned.

Rather than collapse to the ground with fatigue and weariness, Vega jumped up, swinging his arms back and forth; crossing them in front of his chest and reaching behind his back. He was never one to sit idly, always needing to push himself harder and further than anyone else. As the saying goes, the best defense is a good offense, and this was a sentiment Vega lived all day every day.

His morning routine complete, it was time to get ready. He was off duty, but it seemed like a pleasant day outside and he had an appointment to keep. He walked down the narrow hallway to the kitchen. As much as he needed to get going, there was no way he was going to skip breakfast; especially not when his abuela _finally_ sent him the recipe for her famous huevos rancheros that she had been promising to give to him for the past two years. He got out all the ingredients, fired up the stove, and got to cooking. He followed the directions as closely as he could, considering he had to substitute a few items because there are just some things that are hard to get off-world. The end result wasn’t exactly _her_ recipe, but it was still a culinary victory, so he was satisfied.

After polishing off his plate, it was time. Vega had learned early that the key to looking good as a man is to not look like you tried at all. After a shower, he stepped to the mirror and checked out his beard. It never really got much longer than five o’clock, so he didn’t shave. Dressing in a tight fitting t-shirt and jeans, he threw on a leather jacket and stepped into the crisp air.

He was thankful he had thought to grab a jacket because although the sun hung deceptively bright in the sky, the temperature had yet to rise and the small gusts of wind stung his face. The season had just changed and the normally blazing weather had cooled of almost instantly; it was the downside of living in the desert basin on a planet. Closing the door behind him, he left the dormitories. They were separate from the civilian housing areas, with some researchers even living down in the labs. Because it was predominately a research colony, there originally wasn’t a large military presence. That was changing however, as the Blood Pack raid warmed the colonists to Alliance protection. There were four buildings, able to hold a total of 1000 soldiers. Located in the heart of the colony, next to the newly installed cannons, the buildings were arranged in a circle, with Fehl Prime HQ in the center. The nearest civilian district was a few kilometers away, which meant Vega had to do something else he hated: take the metro line.

The metro line was fast, efficient and ran practically all the time in any direction you needed to go. It wasn’t the line that Vega detested, it was the people. He took up a lot of space, and sure, when you’re at the gym, pumping iron in front of everyone else, or the bar scoping out potential _dance partners_ , (and in his not so humble opinion, on the battlefield, even if it makes you an easier target, there’s always the intimidation factor) bigger is better. But on the metro, he tended to get looks of disdain and was always bumping into someone. The last time he rode, going to Steve and Robert’s new place, he sneezed. When he moved to cover his mouth and nose, his shoulder bumped the groceries out of the hands of an old lady, her apples and  noodles spilling all over the floor.  He bent down to help her pick them up, and ended up knocking a little boy to the ground in the process. The boy laughed at the “big clumsy man”, but his mother was not amused. She started shrieking, yelling at Vega for attacking poor little Dylan, screaming how he should know better and his personal favorite: “Really? How is anyone as inept as you in the military, because I know Elcor that are more graceful!?!” It took the combined chastising of the old lady and Vega’s own profuse apologies to get her to calm down. Needless to say, he had gotten off at the next stop and walked the remaining ten blocks.

He sighed as he entered the station this time. It was underground, and the air was stale due to the lack of ventilation. There weren’t many people out yet, however and he smiled because maybe this meant he could ride in piece. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar blue figure. She was wearing a white paramilitary suit with blue trim on the shoulder and hip areas, a matching blue undershirt and long white gloves. Immediately, he wanted to run over to her and start up a conversation, anything to get her attention because how often do you get to see an Asari that beautiful here on this rock? Instead, he calmly kept his pace even and crossed the platform.

“Hey Treeya”

“James,” her response was curt, and professional, but mostly curt. Her eyes rolled over him, clearly not impressed by the same body that would have most other species at least give him a second glance.

“What are you up to later?” he continued, trying to force his way through her attitude.

“Well, there’s an important project I’m working on that is consuming most of my time. I really don’t have the-”

“You know Commander Toombs?” he blurted, cutting her off. Treeya nodded, her arms crossed in front of her chest, and James knew her eyes were narrowed at being interrupted, especially when she was obviously trying to blow him off. He wasn’t going down without a fight though. “He and Esteban are throwing a party this weekend, and..uh..I think it would be cool for you to come. If you want to I mean,” he nervously rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his shoulders looking at the ground, the walls, and the train that was about to pull out…

“Uh, gotta go! Let me know later yeah?” He called behind him, seeing her face change from shock to a huff of disbelief as he ran to catch his ride. If he didn’t make this one, the next one was in ten minutes, but he didn’t want to be late. He boarded and immediately headed for the back of the car, away from the doors. He had a few stops between now and his destination and the more he could limit the chances of another commuter disaster, the better the day would be for everyone involved. _Maybe Esteban knows something,_ he thought, wondering why Treeya never seemed to give him the time of day. If anybody knew him well enough, and would be honest enough to give him a rundown of his flaws, it would be his friend.

“Prince Garing Plaza. Exit to the right,” blared the tram’s VI. It was a distorted male voice overlaid on a languid Hanar tune, most likely a prank by one of the younger technicians because all the trains were supposed to have the same singsong female tone. James waited until the rest of the passengers departed before moving. Once he got off the train with no injuries to him nor any other passengers, he let out a deep breath and shook his head. Part one of his mission was complete.

The station here was full of people in stark contrast to the one by HQ. It was before the middle of the day however, and it seemed that the kids had the day out of school for some event or other, because there were families milling about. The street just above the station was light and airy, shops and cafés lining the row, enticing the crowds with scents and tastes, and colors and sales. Still, the temperature was brisk and feather thin clouds floated above in a bright blue sky. Leaves wafted on the breeze from trees planted along the red and blue bricked piazza.  In the middle of the square, a string quintet was playing, covering songs ranging from classical Earth pieces to avant garde Turian experiments.  

 _A perfect day to be with someone_. The thought had come out of nowhere, and before he could dismiss it completely he had already felt a prickle of envy for his friend. It had unofficially been a year since Steve and Robert had started dating and Vega had, in that time, little more than a few casual flings. On the corner of the station from where he exited, there was a donut shop, and even though he was on a strict muscle enhancing diet, no one in their right might could pass up a good Boston Crème; especially when the freshly baked sign was lit. He bought one for him and a strawberry filled for Steve, because he knew that was his favorite.

Making his way down the promenade, he finally reached the rendezvous spot, Mara et Terra Café. It had grown from over a year ago, it’s popularity spiking when a Batarian slaver had decided his crew would never threaten the colony so long as he could get a triple white mocha latté once a month. Vega entered, the door chime announcing his arrival.

“Good morning and welcome to Mara et Terra. How many in the party?” The hostess asked, her blond pixie cut accentuating her large brown eyes.

“Uh…I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. So table for two I guess.” he had tried to reserve a table before, but unless it was a special event or a large group there was an extra fee applied to the check.

“Not a problem. Would you like to sit inside or on the patio?” she asked as she grabbed two menus and some silverware.

Against his better judgment, he decided to sit outside. She led him through the dining room, a sleek, modern affair. The chairs and tables were chrome with thin black metal legs. Each table however, was accented with a different array of lights that shone through the floor beneath it. They were arranged in twos and threes, with a few having groups of four. The pattern looked familiar, but he couldn’t place it at the moment. When they reached the table outside, which was still chrome, but minus the lights, he sat down and turned to ask her what the arrangement was about inside. Instead, his mouth hung open and he had to check himself as he saw the figure approaching.

He recognized him immediately, but he had never seen _Robert_ looking this good. He was walking taller than normal, a certain air of victory about him. His fiery hair was cropped short, but longer than the buzzcut he used to rock all the time. Now there was enough to style, the front cresting in a slight slope and the sides combed down and trimmed. His beard was clipped into a thick line that ran along his jaw. Even though he wasn’t as large as Vega, his black turtleneck molded to his form, emphasizing his very own physical prowess. His slacks were very pressed, creased sharp enough to cut a man and he could see the two very powerful thighs and calves barely contained by the dark cloth. All in all, Vega had to wonder whether this was Robert finally getting comfortable, or whether this was Steve’s influence. Either way, the transformation was astounding and he had to marvel at the results.

“Lookin’ fine Commander!”

“You like what you see?” Robert replied as he approached the table.  He sat down and the hostess handed him a menu. She glanced between the two of them, and finally looked at James and gave him a wink before stating, “Your waitress should be here shortly.”

A minute passed in silence as the two men looked over their menus and avoided looking at each other. Vega could hear the children laughing on the street and the strings were back to a melancholy arrangement from Earth. He looked down at his menu and ran through the things he had prepared to say to Robert; his reasons for asking to meet with him in the first place. _It shouldn’t be this hard. I’ve talked to him a million times before._ Finally, after looking at the sandwich section one last time, and deciding on a honey glazed ham club, he looked up to see Robert’s menu already folded and set to the side, his hands laid on the table, fingers laced together and his red eyes studying him.

“So, James. What’s up?” His voice was even and the question casual, but there was a strength behind it. Not so much the “commander voice” but still enough to straighten James’ posture.

“Yea…uh…sir?” James fumbled. He really hadn’t thought about the implications of this meeting. Robert outranked him and was in his chain of command, so considering what he had to say, this could bode very badly for him if taken the wrong way.

The other man sighed. “We’re both off duty, and we’ve hung out together. I’m Robert right now, or Rojo, as I know you call me when I’m not around,” a sardonic smile formed on his lips and Vega winced and hung his head. That was supposed to stay between him and Esteban. “And you’re James, so you can drop the protocol for now.”

James let out a sigh of relief. He had hoped that Robert would feel this way, but some officers were dicks and loved to “enforce the rules of conduct” at all times.  “Well then _Rojo_ , I just wanted to talk to you about Esteban…er Steve.” It was always weird to call the man by his given name, especially because Steve had given him his own nickname in return. It was just one of the ways in which their friendship worked from the start.

“And what about him?” The challenging tone was back, again still small, not worth getting worked up about.

He had said to drop the protocol, so Vega put some force in his voice as well, “Well, how serious are you?” he leaned forward, folding his arms on the table now.

“And what’s that supposed to mean? We’ve been together for a year, I don’t see why this is any of your concern.” Robert didn’t move, but the challenging voice had changed to a more aggressive tone.

“Estamos amigos. That’s why,” Vega countered, unflinchingly.

Robert was silent, his face stoic as he digested what he heard. He brought his right hand to his chin, stroking his beard as his left hand drummed the table. His lips inched up, giving him the face of a general who found a weakness in an enemy stronghold, and Vega mentally recoiled when he heard the question:

“ _Just_ a friend?”

Of all the turns he was prepared for this conversation to take, this was not one of them. It was a simple maneuver, a deflection that sent him reeling back in his mind and tumbling to defeat. This was the second time Robert had beaten him: the first with his fists, and now with his words. No wonder Steve liked the man. He was strong and sharp with brawn _and_ brain. Vega realized he was no match. He also knew that he liked Steve as a friend; that he enjoyed when they hung out, and knew that it upset him when Steve started seeing Robert, but he figured that it was because of the fight, that he couldn’t bring himself to approve of the man who beat him.

Sputtering, he tried to come up with something, anything he could to gain the advantage again. “Yea…just friends.” He swallowed hard, hoping that He was projecting all the confidence he lacked. Robert sat silently, his hands now back to their original spot on the table folded in front of him. Their discussion was interrupted by the waitress, who upon sensing the tension, hurriedly left so as to place their orders as quickly as possible.

When she had gone, Robert turned back to him, locking his eyes and then looking down. He exhaled, his eyes closing and shoulders dropping. When he faced him again, all the previous enmity had filtered out, leaving a puddle in its wake, “So what do you have planned?”

“I don’t get what you mean.” Vega furrowed his brow in confusion, he didn’t have anything planned. In fact he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on here to begin with.

“With Steve. With this situation. What are you going to do?” No aggression this time.

Sighing, Vega replied, “Nothing, amigo. He’s with you. That’s all I want: is for him to be happy. ¿Si?” He extended his right hand, a sign of peace. He liked Robert, he was good with Steve, and James was too big of a man to let a little thing like jealousy ruin a few good relationships. Smiling, Robert started to reach his hand out, accepting the truce. Before they could shake on it though, his hand snapped back to his temple. His face contorted with pain and his eyes slammed shut as he hammered his fist on the table. He stayed like that, in silent agony as James looked on, dumbfounded. When his eyes opened again, James let out the breath he had been holding. “You ok?”

As soon as the question was in the air, he knew Robert was not ok. The eyes that looked back at him, that had just a moment before been observant and smoldering were…not. They were blank, lifeless even. _No,_ James thought, as his brain searched for words. _Not lifeless. Robotic_. Robert’s eyes shifted to the table and around the view, as if he was seeing for the first time. He flexed his hand a few times, and then suddenly focused on James.

 Something about the way those eyes were now looking at him made him uneasy. _It’s like there’s someone else home; someone trying to decide if I’m friend or foe_. Before the decision could be reached however, Robert’s head lurched forward and he slumped in his chair. James jumped up and rushed to his side. “¡Rojo! Robert!” he shook the other man, but there was no response. He pulled up the emergency app on his omni-tool and called the hospital.

“Fehl Prime Emergency Care. What’s the emergency?” an electronic voice answered.

“This is Lieutenant James Vega, Delta Squad. I’m at Mara et Terra Café and I need an emergency transport. Lieutenant Commander Robert Toombs is passed out on a table and he’s not responding.” He tried to keep the fear out of his voice, and do as he remembered from training.

“Dispatch is on the way.” The connection cut and James looked at his comm piece in fear. Should he call Steve now? Or wait until the medical team arrived and he could give him more information? He looked around and saw that the rest of the patrons had taken notice of the situation. Some were on their comms, telling friends and others were taking pictures and uploading them to various social sites. James felt awful. He knew Robert was a private person and that this would be the last thing in the galaxy he would want.

“HEY! Have some class you ¡pendejos! He’s obviously not doing well, and instead of helping you’re here flashing pictures!  I hope you never see yourself slumped over on a vid screen in pain because some asshole thought it would be funny!” His hands were balled into fists and his blood rushed to his ears. The crowd started to disperse a bit, some actually running away, and he turned back to Robert. The emergency sirens were closing in from the distance and he decided now would be a good time as ever to call Steve.

“Hey Mister Vega. I’m at work you-”

“Steve. It’s Robert. Something’s happened.” 

* * *

 

“What do you **mean** he’s not here?” the anger was bleeding through Steve’s normally genteel manner.

“I’m sorry sir. My records indicate that no patient has been checked in under that name,” the receptionist was nearly in tears. Her eyes were wide and her voice squeaking as she stared over the high metal desk that separated her from the wrath of the man in front of her.

“Check. Again.” Steve’s teeth were gritted and his fist was balled on the counter. His whole body was trembling with anger as Vega looked on, a worried expression on his face. James shifted his weight. It had been hours since Robert collapsed and Steve was just now getting to the hospital; his commanding officer being one of those dicks who didn’t care that his _boyfriend_ was in the hospital because they weren’t married, so really he had no business being there anyway, and he needed to finish installing the modifications on the Hammerhead because that is what he was being paid for. And since _technically_ she was right, Steve couldn’t press the issue, and was made to stay extra late as she went over the modifications time and time again. Eventually Steve had stormed out, not caring whether or not he would be getting a reprimand later.

Vega had spent the time going back to Robert’s office. He wasn’t second in command really, but he was on security detail and Robert had given him some responsibilities in case he was ever out of commission. He had sent out a message to the staff, explaining the situation as best he could with the limited details he had been given. After meeting with Lieutenant Durand, second in command and a tough woman who had survived a Rachni attack on Outpost Theta, he made his way to Steve’s place and they left for the hospital together. Now he was standing here as his friend was driving a young woman into hysterics. He had to help them both out.

Vega walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, “Esteban.”

“Don’t Esteban me!” He whirled on James, his fury leaving brochures scattered on the floor in its wake. The receptionist flinched, scared that there might be a confrontation happening here in the waiting room in front of all the other patients who were now looking on with more than mild curiosity. Instead of moving, James let the anger hit him full force, knowing that he could take the blow much more easily than the poor highschooler with the pink pigtails staring at them. Steve’s eyes were bright and his chest was heaving as he tried to calm down. _Just like the night I called Robert Loco_. The memory caused James to smile, and Steve must have mistaken it for him laughing at him now.

“Something funny James?”

The use of his given name by his friend got his attention quickly. He grabbed Steve and pulled him into a tight hug, “No Esteban. Nothing funny. Just remembering the last time I saw you this mad, you were yelling at me.” He felt Steve relax against him and his breathing slowed. They stayed like that for a moment and James couldn’t help but feel jealous again. _Rojo’s one hell of a lucky guy._ After a few moments, Steve patted James on the back and was released, wiping tears from his eyes. He turned to the receptionist.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little upset right now; I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s just that every time he comes in for an implant inspection, he sees Dr. Suresh in the biotic wing. I was thinking he would be there.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” she squeaked, glancing at James. “But Dr. Suresh has been stationed at Ferris Fields for the past six months. All biotic personnel have been referred to Dr. Armistan Banes. We no longer have their records or anything.”

“Where is this Dr. Banes?” James could hear the desperation creeping into Steve’s voice.

“He’s down in the research labs I think. But you have to have authorization to get in there.”

Steve’s head dropped, defeated. Slowly he turned from the desk and started trudging down the hallway. James paced him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “You want some company? I could come over and we could watch _Legacy of Sacrifice_. I heard the new episode was amazing!” He knew Steve would say yes. _Legacy_ was their favorite show, and they had spent many nights staying up on the couch, laughing, and crying (well Steve cried, James suspiciously always had to go to the bathroom) and talking about how amazing the whole thing was, and how it should be made into a movie.

Steve stopped and looked up. James thought he saw it again, that thing that was there when Steve had him against the wall. Before he could place it, it was gone, and Steve was smiling, a tired smile. “Sure.” 

* * *

 

He couldn’t move and he was lying supine on a flat surface. The metal was cold against his back and his wrists, ankles and head were strapped down. _No! Not again! How did they catch me?_ His heart rate spiked as Robert remembered the last time he had woken up like this: bound and naked, cold sterile air flowing over his body. It was after the terror that was Akuze, when he was sure he had died after he had thrown Shepard across the carnage as far as he could toward the landing zone. The last thresher maw closed down on him and he felt the acid that laced what passed for a tongue burning through his armor as it wrapped around his body, forever marking him. His suit had tried to counteract it by compressing and applying medigel, ultimately the efforts producing the long black scar that he loathed now.

The burning had kept him conscious that night, for which now he was thankful, because when the creature tossed him into the air, he inverted and saw the gaping hole that was its gullet, lined with razor sharp spindles and pulsing with hunger. As he fell, he straightened himself out and focused as much as he could. When the darkness enveloped him, he could smell the putrid aroma of digestive juices and death from his squad mates and it was nearly enough to make him lose consciousness. But he didn’t want to die; not inside the belly of some behemoth, and so he let his desperation out and his will to live explode around him, the Nova disintegrating the beast from within. The last thing he remembered from the field was the ground rushing up to meet him and the pain wracking his body when he made contact.

The next thing he remembered was awakening to a bright light, and the woman with the funny accent and the dark hair.  Then as now, he was on his back, bound in a room with equipment and monitors all over the place. She had seemed alarmed that he woke up so soon and he could hear the monitors beeping, indicating that his cardiac levels were accelerating. She yelled to someone… _Banes_ …he recalled, and he once again felt the embrace of darkness as he went under.

After that, it was a battery of torture, day after day, some new affliction, to see how he handled it. He never understood what most of the tests were about, but when they sent the thresher maw acid coursing through his veins, he knew someday he was getting out, and every single one of them was going to die. But it was never when the woman with the funny accent was around. When she was there, they only ran good tests, the easy ones, the ones where they made him sleep and he dreamed.

The dreams were so real. It was like watching his body from the outside. He could see the scientists standing around him. He heard them asking him questions, _he felt himself responding_. Eventually, the dreams became physical, where he would feel new neural connections and mnemonics were being made to his eezo nodes and his biotics reached shocking new levels of power as he Charged through dummies and sent Shockwaves at crates, ripping entire floors apart. He pressed these dreams into his memories. They made him stronger, and he used that to escape.

His thoughts came to his present situation. He reached back, trying to remember what happened right before he woke up here. Unfortunately it was fruitless. There was a haze that blanketed his mind, covering everything from after the time he woke up next to Steve, until now. _Steve._ A cold fury swept through him, swallowing whatever emotions and discomfort he was feeling for himself. _If Cerberus has hurt a single hair on his head, I swear I will not stop until the entire division is dead._ He clenched his fists, and was relieved to feel them close with no trouble. Next, he moved his toes, the sensation causing his hopes to rise a little more. After flexing his neck and determining there were no injuries there, he moved on to his nervous system. He went through elementary biotic training exercisesand was only slightly disappointed. _No amp. No matter, I escaped once before without one. I can do it again. Besides,_ he chuckled, _I went easy on them._

With that thought, he coughed, hardly a sound worth checking on, but it was loud enough. There was a small echo, and he used that to determine a rough estimate of how large the room was. He opened his eyes expecting a glare from a fluorescent lamp above him, but instead, he found himself in near darkness, only the displays on the surrounding machines casting any glow. His eyes quickly adjusted, and he sought the space where the door would be. He listened, training his ears to hear anything he could. Over the low hum the electronics in the room, he heard footsteps approaching. When they landed outside his door, he began counting.

One thing he had obtained in captivity was the ability to accurately measure time by counting. It was one of the skills that helped him to escape. He honed it by doing just what he is doing now, counting the interval between when guards posted outside his cell, and how long it took them to make a round. He listened for three rounds, the time coming to 45 seconds outside his door and ten minutes between returns. This told him two things: either the guard’s route was large, or he was sitting down somewhere and wasting time between posts. Either way, once incapacitated, Robert would have some time before anyone noticed he was missing.

On the fourth rotation, once the footsteps stopped outside his door, he let loose with a biotic blast, just strong enough to break his bonds. Back in the past, it would have taken a few tries, but he was much stronger now, years of experience under his belt and a man to go save. Once he was free, he crept to the door. It had only been 15 seconds, so he still had 30 more to go. The door was a pressurized seal, so there was no slit underneath to show the shadow of the guard’s feet so his timing had to be perfect. He waited until the steps started pulling away and he pulled a move that he had learned to master during his time as an executioner. He took a few steps back and lunged forward, activating his biotics at the same time. The world flashed around him and he landed on the other side of the door, a few meters behind the guard walking away.

Now he had two options, he could either Charge the other man and take him out quickly, but the sound would give away his escape (the monitors were doing that anyway he figured). Or he could sneak up and silently take him out. He snuck behind the guard, and when he was close enough, exploded into action. He stood up, throwing his left arm around the poor man’s neck, lining his elbow with the other man’s chin. He locked his right arm behind the guard’s head and with his left hand grabbed his shoulder. He flexed his arm and the other man struggled, his arms flailing at the air and his hands pawing helplessly at Robert’s arm. After a few seconds, the motions stopped, and he hung limp.

Robert dragged him back to the room, and quickly stripped him of his armor and weapon. The armor was a dull grey, with some black markings on the shoulders. He held it in the light to get a closer look, and noticed the name: ERCS. _Elanus Risk Control Services,_ he thought. _So they’re outsourcing now?_ Since no one had come running, he figured that it must be in between shifts. Still, he had been counting and had six minutes remaining. The unconscious guard was about Robert’s size, maybe an inch or two shorter and just a bit thinner, so while the armor didn’t fit like a glove, it wasn’t exceptionally awkward in any way. Adjusting the pieces as best he could, he opened the door and stepped back into the hallway.

He hadn’t recognized it when he first stepped out, but the corridor had a familiar feel. _Just like the one on Akuze._ The walls were stark white, with the grey metal doors spaced evenly throughout. The ceiling was about three meters high and the lights were small circles that were lined down the middle, just about even with the doors. He did notice however, that the trimming above the wall on the baseboards was not the Cerberus black and gold he was expecting. Instead they were a deep red and sky blue. Dark windows stared at him, and he wondered how many more people were trapped down here, turned into living experiments against their will just like him. _First things first, find my amp._ He was proficient in combat, and like every soldier was given an omni-tool, but he lacked the proper knowledge to boost his shields using the basic programs, his “borrowing” of someone else’s instrument notwithstanding. With his amp, however, he could divert minimal energy to maintain a powerful barrier, or make effective use of his other dangerous skills. _Just like old times,_ he thought grimly.

He walked as quickly as he could while maintaining a calm demeanor. If this facility was like Akuze, then he should be reaching the central desk for this floor shortly. So far, only a few orderlies were in the hallways running around making last minute checks on patients, and if there were two groups of people who went unnoticed in places like this, they were orderlies and guards.

The hallway seemed to stretch forever, his boots landing lightly on the tile and echoing off the walls. He kept his eyes open for any maps or signs that would let him know exactly where he was. As it stood there were no labels on anything, just numbers and letters. He came to a fork in the hallway. The only two choices were left and right, and both looked just as empty as one another. If he just picked one, he could end up going around in a circle, and he was down to his last 2 minutes. _Don’t panic. Not now, I have to get out. Make it to Steve._ He turned around, and spying an orderly leaving a room, briskly made his way over.

“Excuse me, it’s my first night, and my shift is over, but I seemed to have gotten turned around. Can you help me out?” He hoped his lie would work, and that he wouldn’t be caught and turned in on the spot.

“Sure. I just got the hang of this place myself. I just started last week. My name’s Simon,” he extended his hand. Robert took it, not wanting to arouse suspicion. “Bruce.”

“So where are you headed?”

“I need to get to the Central Desk, I took my amp out when I took a shower on my break and I think someone turned it in.”

Simon laughed. “Wow, you’re headed in the wrong direction. The desk is the other way. When you get to the Hot Room, make a left and it’ll be just past the next set of double doors on your right.”

Cursing silently, Robert took Simon’s hand again, “Thank you so much. My mom sent it to me for my birthday and it means a lot to me.”

“No problem.”

He made his way back to where he started his pace just short of a jog as his time had been used up. When he reached the door to the room he woke up in, he cracked it open, and spotted the guard still strapped to the bed where he left him in his place. He closed the door as quietly as he could, when a voice rang out behind him.

“Priestly, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Banes would kill us both if he saw you disturbing one of his patients!” Robert stamped down the reaction that almost gave him away. _BANES?!? He’s HERE?_ He looked at the woman who barked at him a moment ago. She was standing with her fists on her hip, tapping her foot, obviously waiting for an answer. Robert mumbled something, and dropped his face, hoping that she wouldn’t catch on to the fact that Priestly wasn’t himself.

“Whatever,” she huffed. “You’re off anyway. Get out of here.” Robert nodded and resumed his way to the Hot Room, when she said, “Oh and don’t forget to wear that thing I like. I’ll be over as soon as I’m off,” with that, she goosed him and chuckled, “Looks like somone’s been working out.”

Resisting the urge to Throw her into a wall, he continued. _Well it’s good to know others still think I’ve got it._ He smiled, knowing that Steve would love to hear this part of his daring escape. He made it the rest of the way to the Hot Room with no incident and froze when he reached the window. There, in a glass cylinder tank, suspended in some sort of preservation liquid was the face of the man he loved. _It can’t be. Not Steve…_ His arm was already pulling back to slam through the window when he noticed something else. Instead of Steve’s short black hair, the thing in the tube sported red hair. _Like mine._ _Steve’s face…my hair…what is this?_ Suddenly, it opened it's eyes and Robert stepped back, blanching at the sight of his own red orbs staring back at him. He heard a scream from the direction of his room and saw Simon stumbling out and the female guard running back toward him.

He quickly took the corner and headed to the desk. The poor nurse at station wet herself when she looked up to see a Carnifax hand cannon pointed at her face.

“Don’t scream. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want the Savant X amp. And tell me the quickest way out of here.”

With trembling hands, she handed him the case and closed her eyes, sobbing silently the entire time she gave him directions and the key to the emergency elevator. He pitied her, knowing she had no idea what was going on, but he had to get out as the alarm was raised, the hallways now flashing with red emergency lights and a loudspeaker announcing the security breach.

He took off down the hallway, running into a group of guards coming at him.

“Priestly! What the hell is going on?” one of them asked as he got within earshot. _No time_. Robert snapped in his amp on the go and without waiting for the proper warm up, unleashed a Shockwave, bowling the small squad out of his way, their bodies rag dolling around him. He hurdled the tangle of arms and legs and broke into a full on sprint. The hallway made a right, and with no time to slow down, he ran along the wall, Charging the next group of guards as he rounded. The elevator was straight ahead, just at the end of the hall. His joy at seeing his salvation was tempered slightly by the sight of the YMIR mech stepping out from a side entryway.

He saw the combat systems priming and the mech raised its gun arm. Robert focused all his energy into a full powered Phase Disrupter, feeling his Barrier diminish as his amp diverted the necessary power. The mech exploded just as he met it sending shrapnel skittering down the hall. He keyed in the code for the elevator, and turned around. Standing before him were the three groups of guards he had dispatched earlier, along with more mechs. He knew he was strong, and if he absolutely had to, he could take them out. But he was trying not to kill anyone, because something was off. He couldn’t place it, but this was not like his first escape.

The elevator pinged and Robert stepped in, priming a Barrier just as a rocket detonated in his face. He was blown back against the wall with a hard thud. The small army was closing on him now, and Robert moved as fast as he could and hit the ground floor button. The doors closed right after one guard made it inside.

She raised her gun as the screamed, “What have you done to Priestly?!?!” He recognized her as the woman from earlier and grabbed her arm and pinned it behind her.

“Same thing I’m going to do to you,” he answered as he put her in the same hold that knocked Priestly out. He gently set her on the floor and stood to the side of the doors. No doubt the entire floor would be covered with guards and mechs by now. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. This was going to be a hard fight, but he was determined to win. The elevator stopped, and he primed a Barrier as the doors opened. He stepped out quickly gun raised and was astonished. The entire floor was empty. The front desk was abandoned and all the lights were off. _Did everyone go home?_ The front door was straight ahead and he covered the short distance in a few strides. _No need to make it any harder than it is._  

When the door closed behind him, the greatest surprise of all met him. He looked up at the night sky and recognized the three moons.   _I’m still on Fehl Prime!_  

* * *

 

Steve was distraught. It had been three days since the hospital visit and no one could tell him where Robert was. James did his best to keep his spirits up making a fool of himself on purpose and cooking when Steve had refused to eat, but at this point he was starting to lose it. _Where are they holding him? Why? What’s going on?_ The questions kept coming and without any information, all he could do was pace the floor like he had been, his feet having memorized an intricate design around his apartment.

James was sitting on the couch, and Steve knew he was concerned, but had exhausted all of his wit. His hands were clasped in his lap and he was leaning forward watching him make another cycle around the room.

“Esteban, I’m sure there’s a good reason he’s still in being seen. Maybe something happened with his implant yeah?” The question was one that had been posed numerous times, but it was always something they came back to.

“I don’t think so. Dr. Suresh was pretty clear that his implant was fine. She let me sit in on one of his appointments after he insisted.” Steve plopped down on the sofa next to James. He was tired, and the not knowing was killing him. Before he could stop them, the tears started running down his cheeks and he tried to cover them up before James saw, but it was too late, and he felt the big arm wind its way around his shoulders again.

“Hey, he’ll come back. Better than ever. You’ll see.”

Steve turned, his vision swimming in his tears, but he saw James, clear as day, with that shit-eating grin of his staring right back at him, and for a second, it was enough. His comm rang and the moment was broken as he scrambled to answer it. “Hello?”

“Is this Lt. Steven Cortez?” It was an older man, with a strange accent and he was obviously unhappy.

“This is he. Who is this?” Steve was cautious; he hardly ever gave his comm out to anyone. He looked and saw Vega mouthing _Who is it?_ Steve shrugged and waited for the answer.

“This is Dr. Armistan Banes, Biotic Research Division. I would like to inform you there has been an incident. It is my understanding that you are close to Lieutenant Commander Robert Toombs?”

“Yes. We’re…close,” Steve swallowed; the term was cold, not at all what he felt for Robert.

“I see,” Banes said, and he paused, letting Steve know he understood the implication. “I’m calling to inform you that there has been an incident tonight and while under the influence of some very powerful drugs, he has managed to run away from my care. Should he try to contact you, I would be grateful if you sent a message to the address that is being sent to you at this moment.”

“What’s going on? I don’t understand? Why can’t I see him?” Steve was frantic, jumping off the couch, and pacing even more quickly around the room, but his demands fell on deaf ears.

“Please, just send me a message should he contact you. Oh and one more thing, as I said, the drug is very powerful and it is also a hallucinogen, therefore, he may say he’s seen some outlandish things. These things will more than likely be his subconscious trying to piece together what is actually going on. In other words: you cannot believe anything he says.” The signal went dead and Steve stopped in his tracks, frozen with disbelief.

“Who was that?” Steve jumped, having completely forgotten Vega was sitting on his couch.

Steve faced him, his mouth still agape. He was quiet; trying to put together all the information he was just given. _Gone? How is he gone?_ Tendrils of fear began twisting themselves into his mind, and he started tearing up again. _Goddammit. James probably thinks I’m some sort of pathetic crybaby._

“It’s ok Esteban. You don’t have to tell me.” James whispered. Steve could see he was upset, and it did take nearly an hour after they got back for him to convince James that it wasn’t his fault, and that Robert had been to the hospital before for his headaches. Steve gathered his strength and sat back down on the couch.

“That was Dr. Banes. Robert is missing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I didn't want to end it here, but it was getting a little long in the tooth, so I figured it was as good a spot as any. As usual, hope you enjoy, and all feedback is very welcome!.


	5. Coming Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All roads lead home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one! Hope you enjoy!

Robert shuffled along the ground, fatigue and weariness finally wresting the last of his strength from his body. His feet were aching, bones and muscles out of alignment from wearing Priestley’s too-small boots ( _This guy has no arch in his feet._ ), and his skin was rubbed raw in more than one place due to the armored plating not fitting well; chafing him as he had run for his life. He had disjoined some of the pieces to make movement easier not too long ago, and was now paying for it. Shivering violently as the wind sliced through cracks he had opened, even his high metabolic output was unable to keep him warm. The suit was beeping, its external sensors and internal measurements constantly telling him what he already knew: he needed to recuperate. What the suit couldn’t accurately tell him however, was how hungry he was; the combination of not having eaten in who-knows-how long and the exertion of using his biotics in his escape had his stomach beyond grumbling; opting for a constant growl and continuous panging. Had he been wearing his own armor, he would have at least six very bland (and sometimes downright disgusting) calorie replacing bars crammed in various pockets and pouches. _Not like I was expecting a fight, though._ A weak chuckle escaped him as the image of him waking up in his full body armor next to Steve flashed through his mind.

Along with the distress his body was going through, Robert’s mind wasn’t faring much better. Armistan Banes was the very first name on the list the Shadow Broker had given him that he had gone to kill. He was the lead researcher of the Akuze cell, the person responsible for all of the pain and suffering he had been put through with a face Robert would never forget; sunken grey eyes lined with wrinkles, tufts of hair seemingly glued to his scalp, the sharp angles that led to a narrow chin capped by that blinding bald spot. That spot alone was enough to cause Robert to go into fits of rage as the glare from the already severe lighting was amplified and reflected into his eyes.  Each time he was taken for an experiment, Banes was there positively salivating at the chance to test even more of his theories. To make matters worse, he enjoyed the psychological torment as well.

_“You want to kill me don’t you,” he asked rhetorically one day, after an excruciating round of experiments that included running powerful currents of electricity through Robert’s nervous system and recording the output of his biotic flares. Bane’s eyes were wide with a toothy smile on his face, “Well it doesn’t matter what you want, because by the time we’re through with you, you won’t have any say in the matter.” With that, he had called the guards over and they rolled him back into his cell as Robert’s anguished screams echoed inside his mind, his jaw and vocal chords unresponsive because his body had been paralyzed for the procedure._

He looked up at the sky, brightened by the three moons in their various waxing stages. He had been stationed on the colony for just over a year now and still had no idea what their names were. They floated in the darkness, like bubbles on the wind, bathing the colony in their soft light. Casting a glance back, he took another look at the building from which he just escaped, making sure he wasn’t being followed. It was covered in shadow, the windows empty and dark. To the unenlightened passerby, it would seem as it was, just an office closed for the night, but Robert shivered, not entirely from the cold as he knew there were still people down there, droning on with their enquiries, either unaware or uncaring of the less than ethical and moral nature of their studies.  The research labs were offset from the rest of the colony, at the end of a private rail line. The purpose was twofold: to decrease the likelihood of a harmful experiment impacting the colony ( _Guess that failed tonight_ ) and also to protect the labs should the need arise, such as during the Blood Pack invasion the previous year. They were equipped with their own kinetic barriers that drew power from a separate source than the colonial shielding. The facility itself was one story above ground, with multiple levels built deeper into the rocky earth below. 

Without Priestley’s password, there was not much Robert could do with his omni-tool, so calling anybody except basic emergency services was out of the question. His frustration grew as all he wanted to do was call Steve, let him know that he was ok, and that he would be coming home. Instead, all he was able to manage was pull up the HUD, retching at Priestley’s background display. _Seriously? What a pervert!_ When he saw the date and time, however, his frustration turned to anxiety as the numbers shone brightly on the unit. _Three days,_ he thought. _I was down there for three days? Oh God, what have they done to me this time?_ The air around him tinged blue, his subconscious activating his eezo nodes as the fear hormone corticotropinsurged through his system (most people would say it was adrenaline, but Robert had been a lab rat long enough to learn the difference). The thought of him going back to Steve with scars he couldn’t explain, or worse, an unknown condition, terrified him.

One exhausted step at a time, he made his way toward the terminal. The walkway was about ten meters across and was bricked with the same red and white colors as the trim from inside the labs. The sides of the passage were bordered by waist high stone walls, the names of donors carved into some spots, various scientific and medical facts and etchings, and quotations from famous scholars and philosophers made up the other decorations. The metro stop here at the labs was almost a full-fledged station, second only to the one in the heart of the colony outside of HQ. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t have been a long or unpleasant stroll, maybe two or three minutes from the platform to the entrance of the building, but in his current condition, it felt like an eternity. About halfway to the station is where the descent began, starting with a gentle slope following the curve of the earth and eventually getting steeper and leading into a stairway. Here, the walls were less decorative and edged closer together, with a low ceiling and dim lighting causing Robert a brief flashback to Akuze, imagining his body helplessly falling from the sky and into the gaping maw beneath him.

_I’m not on Akuze. I’m on Fehl Prime, getting on a train to go home to the most wonderful man in the galaxy._ Robert closed his eyes, bracing himself against the cold slab with his left shoulder, wincing as the armor plating there bit him, and willed forth an image of Steve. It was perfect, Steve’s blue eyes opening sleepily as they lie in bed, a dreamy smile growing as the warm sunlight enveloped them both and Robert’s arm and leg were thrown over him, claiming him as his own. He felt his nerves calming, his body recognizing the emotions of familiarity and contentment.

He trudged onward, taking one stair at a time, his right leg trailing his left, his right hand holding his stomach in a futile attempt to assuage his hunger and his left gripping the rail for support. He reached the landing, and moving to wipe the sweat from his brow, he was baffled for a brief second when he couldn’t feel his arm swiping his face. _Yeah, I’m losing it,_ he laughed painfully once he realized that he was still wearing Priestley’s helmet. He disengaged the latches and took it off, grimacing as the freed perspiration ran freely into his eyes and on the cuts and burns around his neck. _Should have been faster,_ he thought, reliving the rocket blast from the elevator. The sweat stung, but the cold air and the draft from the metro tunnel were more than refreshing enough to make up for it.

The station was eerily empty. He checked the time again, the bright orange light flaring in his eyes. _These things really should come in different colors._ He ignored their protest as they adjusted to the illumination and when the numbers finally congealed into a legible shape, he let out a sigh of relief. It was only 2300 which meant there should be at least one more train coming this way. Within the colony, the metro stayed open at all hours, but many of the farther stops were closed down earlier. He and Steve had learned this the hard way when they first moved to their new apartment, and had to walk more than a few blocks in the rain after seeing the new _Blasto!_

He continued to the gate and absentmindedly reached for his back pocket. Again, he frowned as he remembered that all his stuff was somewhere else, which meant he had no ID, and more importantly, no money to ride. He huffed, and was about to give up and lay on that bench over there, out of the way when an idea hit him. _He might not have calorie bars, but I wonder…_ He started going through the compartments on the armor… _I bet he would never run out of ammo if he filled all these things up._ Sure enough, nestled in a slot on his right shoulder was a rail card. Robert approached the turnstile, hoping that the poor bastard Priestley had enough money to get him away from this place. The card swiped, and Robert stepped through, looking at the monitor above him. The next scheduled train was due in two minutes, and already he could feel the vibrations from the approaching line.

The air was filled with a soft whine as the current running through the engine’s element zero cores was lowered then reversed, with the doors on the last car nearly perfectly aligning with where Robert was standing on the platform. When the speakers crackled to life and he heard the familiar synthesized voice announcing its arrival, a renewed vigor surged through him. _I can’t wait to go home, walk through my door, hold him close and kiss him till we fall asleep!_ His lips rose into blissful smile at the thought. Leaning his weight on the seats as he walked to the back of the car, he felt as if his body was on autopilot. He lowered himself into the booth, the helmet clattering on the floor as he tossed it down. The booths were wide enough for two people, and they faced the front of the line. Since no one else was aboard, he turned sideways, propped his feet onto the cushion and leaned against the window. _I’ve only got a few stops between here and home. It won’t be long._

It didn’t matter that he knew he was alone on the metro, because Steve was right there, sitting on his lap excitedly talking about the newest upgrade he was making to a Kodiak, something about bypassing a standard safety protocol and allowing easier access to the internal systems software and readjusting power outputs to various programs. This was going on while Vega was bench-pressing two thick stacks of pancakes in the booth opposite him. Robert only smiled as his dreams were extra vivid, his mind too tired to differentiate between reality and sleep.

He awoke to a light pain in his right shoulder. Opening his eyes as he let out a wide yawn, he stretched his legs out, feeling the muscles shaking fatigue and the cramps from his awkward position loose. His ankles popped as he rotated them lazily, getting the blood flowing. He sat up, eyes still heavy and unfocused from his quick siesta, and he could see the squiggly lines in the corners of his vision. _I wonder what those are,_ he thought as he attempted to follow one. This led his vision out the window, and he let out a surprised grunt as the world came into view.

He could see two more rail lines outside of his window. There was another level running perpendicular to the line he was on, like an overpass and he knew that there were three more lines above him. High above that, extending beyond his view, the stone walls arced into a domed ceiling. It was made out of a screen-like material, and even though the station was underground, the current weather from above was simulated below; a convenience that some people argued would not only allow passengers to better plan their dress for the day, but to help soothe those who were wary of riding in a metal tube under tons of rock. The platforms were bustling with people, some dressed in business attire, but the vast majority was dressed for a night out. _I wonder if Steve is going out tonight._

Robert stood up, earning a pinch on his thigh from the armor. He made his way to the door, stepping aside to let a preoccupied young couple stumble into the car. The sight of the two lovebirds sent a twinge of jealousy through him, and he huffed, stepping off the train and onto the platform. Bringing up the omni-tool, he checked the time again and cursed, stomping his foot in frustration and earning a nervous glance from an older man walking by. His divine plan of swooping home and diving into his warm bed was ruined and it was his fault. He had overslept and missed his connecting line to his stop. As it was now after 2330, the line to his stop was closed for the night, and being that he was in Central Station next to HQ, he really did not have the energy to walk home.

His left foot sent a reminder that it was still crammed in too small a space, and Robert shifted his weight to relieve some pressure. He was about _this close_ to taking all the damned armor off, but thought better of it, seeing as how he was so near HQ and the thought of having to explain to his superiors why the Security Commander limping around nude in public was not a pleasant one. Another thought hit him as he milled about the station. _I’m close to the office; I can go call Steve and see if I left any clothes there._ He marched forward, pushing through the crowd amid cries of indignation and sighs of annoyance. He didn’t care, only wanting to make it to the office.

Before him stood the stairs to the outside of the station. They were made out of the standard tiled flooring that lined most space stations these days, but were draped with a red and blue carpet down the middle, the insignia of the colony emblazoned at the two edges. He took them two at a time, about ten steps total, and pushed his way to the outer doors. He scanned the ceiling for any harsh weather, and seeing none, hurried through.

“OOMMPH!” He felt the collision before he even registered what had happened. One second he was charging through the door, wind whipping his face here harder than at the research facility, and the next thing he knows, the ground is rushing towards him and he’s gasping for air. A strong throbbing pulsed through his arm as he landed on it at a bad angle, with the armor taking another chance to scrape him. A dark hand gripped his shoulder and he felt himself being gently pulled up as the other person began their apologies.

“Sorry there, I was in a hurry and didn’t see- _Robert?_ ” The familiar deep voice stopped with astonishment. Robert looked up, his tired eyes widening with disbelief and overflowing with emotion as they met the last person he expected and only person in the galaxy he wanted to see.

“Steve!” His voice cracked as he voiced his name, his shaking legs threatening to spill him onto the pavement again. His world came crashing down around him, nothing else mattering now that Steve was there in front of him. The wind died down as he lifted his weary hands to cup his lover’s face and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him forever, but as he could see the tempest of emotions swirling behind Steve’s eyes he knew some explanations were in order. “What are you doing out here?”

He hadn’t meant to ask it out loud; the question was supposed to be a thought and he realized his mistake when Steve’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. His fists clenched and his lips drew tight.

“What am **_I_** doing here? You disappear for three days, after collapsing on a date with **_my_ ** friend, don’t bother to call anyone and show up at here, at Central Station in some tacky body armor that doesn’t even fit you, and you’re asking me what **_I’m_** doing here?!?” He pulled away from Robert, crossing his arms in front of his chest and holding his shoulders. He was wearing his ratty old running shoes, the grey sweat pants with all of the little holes everywhere that were never to leave the house and Robert’s faded white _Blasto_ hoodie that was missing the drawstring and had that coffee stain on the chest that wouldn’t come out. His eyes were puffy and they were lined with the telltale contours of lack of sleep.

  _And he’s still the most beautiful man ever._ Robert stood, shoulders slumped and his gaze shifting around, not knowing what to say, or how much he should tell Steve. Steve knew about the thresher maws on Akuze, but no one except for Shepard’s crew and the private investigative teams knew about Cerberus. If he told Steve about where he really was, he would have to tell him about all that, and Robert wasn’t sure if he was ready. _It’s not fair to him, though. He could be in danger because of me. What if they try again when he’s with me?_ He met Steve’s gaze and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came to mind, so instead he cast his gaze to the ground, closing it again. He couldn’t think of anything and standing outside in the cold with so many people within earshot wasn’t helping the situation. Steve shook his head and dropped his arms, stepping into him and settling against his chest, and Robert ignored the stab of yet another plate as he enveloped the shorter man.

“I’m so sorry Steve. It wasn’t my choice.” He pressed kisses to his temple while stroking his head. “I was…being observed, and only now just got out.” His voice was barely a whisper, and he was doing all he could to keep the tears at bay.

“I know. I know,” Steve answered, his lips pressed in the crook of Robert’s neck. “Dr. Banes called and told me you…ran away. Is that where this came from?” his fingers were brushing along the burn around Robert’s throat. 

Robert stiffened. His mouth went dry, and he looked around nervously. _He contacted Steve?_ He hugged Steve even tighter, determined to never lose him to Banes. “What else did he say?” Robert tried to keep his voice even, and not let the terror seep through. Steve, as usual caught it.

“He said that you were on some strong  medicine and that you may try to convince me you saw some crazy things.” Since he had noticed Roberts tone earlier, he quickly continued, “He also gave me a link to reach if you ever tried to contact me. But there was something…I don’t know…off about his voice. He didn’t sound like a doctor; at least not like one that sees patients.”

“Are you going to call him?” Robert stepped back; arms extended and looked him in the eye. _Please don’t. I’ll never see you again._

“No. I didn’t like the way he sounded. And, I missed you too much let you go so soon.”

Robert smiled, his spirits lifting, and he got that butterfly feeling in his stomach. As if to have everyone acknowledge its presence, it growled loudly, vibrating against the armor, and he almost doubled over from the hunger.

“When was the last time you ate?” Steve gasped, rushing to Robert’s side and taking his weight around his shoulder.

“I don’t remember. Do you have any credits on you?”

“Yea. We’ll stop and get something to eat, but I think the best thing would be to get you out of that armor. I can see some raw skin from here.” Steve took a step, and Robert followed suit.

“I can walk on my own babe. But I don’t remember if I left any clothes in my office.”

Steve turned, a grin plastered on his face, “I’m sure we’ve left enough clothing around there to dress the both of us at some point.” His tone and face dropped into concern, “Are you sure you want to walk? I can ren-.”

“No. I want to walk,” he reached down and grabbed Steve’s hand, “with you.” He felt a squeeze from Steve and they shared a tender glance.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of that armor.”

“Is that an order?”

“Damn straight it is.”

They ambled toward the offices, Steve keeping his pace slow, and Robert pushing through the pain and hunger. The walk between them was mostly silent, interspersed with fleeting kisses and reassuring touches, the only sound being the flurry of citizens around them, eager to go about having their nocturnal shenanigans. Their footfalls melded together, keeping them in step and side by side; Steve’s arm wrapped around Robert’s waist and his around Steve’s shoulders.

After passing through the ring of dormitories, the Fehl Prime Colonial Headquarters Building loomed into their view. It was an imposing edifice, both tall and large, guarded by the new GARDIAN cannon the alliance was currently building. It was a drab grey, a reminder of how form follows function. It wasn’t a pretty building by any means, with its tiny rows of windows, and everyone knew it. Nearly every month a new petition would be floated around calling for its renovation to bring it more in line with the rest of the colony. It stood nearly ten stories tall, and the windows were all less than five feet square. If a person was lucky enough to get a corner office, the combined and enlarged window space did nothing for the view, which was the same everywhere, a flat, desert terrain.

Robert heard Steve sigh at the imposing stairway. He chuckled and steered them to the left, around it. Off to the side, was a long ramp with a low incline. “You worry too much,” he murmured, leaning into his ear. He could feel the heat radiating from him, carrying that distinct _Steve_ smell with it. It was intoxicating and he had to pull back quickly, his head swimming and his mind drowning with the thoughts of the things he wanted to do to him. He knew that those things were going to have to wait however, as physically he was just too damn tired to make any of it happen. They made it to the building and because it was after hours, the doors were locked. Steve stepped aside to allow Robert access to the scanner. He stepped up, the small cone of light angling down his body and passing over every inch of his face. “Welcome Lt. Commander Toombs.”

Once inside, they took the elevator to the fifth floor where Robert’s office was located. “I don’t remember it ever taking this long to get to my office,” he grumbled as another plate moved against his skin.

“It’s always longer when you’re going somewhere than when you leave it.”

Steve pushed ahead, and brought up the security protocol on his omni-tool. It had been a muggy morning a few months back when Robert’s implant had flared up. He was at home in bed with probably the worst migraine he had ever experienced when he needed a specific data pad from the office and Steve volunteered to get it. He had made it all the way to the door before it dawned on them that he couldn’t get in due to a regulation that Robert himself had instituted not even a week prior. Security codes could no longer be sent via extranet, which meant Robert had to suffer the outside world, his head feeling as if it was splitting in half in order to come open the door. Needless to say, he had given Steve the codes that day.

The door hissed open and they let out a simultaneous gasp at the sight in front of them. In the middle of the floor with his cleaning supplies surrounding him like a captive audience, was one of the building custodians with his omni-tool activated and music blaring into his auditory buds. His eyes were closed and he was shredding the most awesome air guitar solo this side of the Charon relay. Steve giggled, doubling over from the sight, his body convulsing silently. Robert on the other hand let out an exasperated sigh and stomped his foot on the floor. He was too close to getting out of this Godforsaken armor to let Superstar delay him any further.

His stomp was ignored and Robert was losing his patience. He was hungry, tired, and most of all his thighs were in agony as the two innermost pieces of armor were trying to get more intimate with him than he was comfortable with. When the Techno Turian still didn’t acknowledge his presence after he crossed the room and cleared his throat, his temper got the best of him and the air crackled blue around him. His arm whipped back, ready to Slam the poor guy into next Tuesday. Before he could fully remember all the mnemonics, he felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder _._ The sudden movement finally got the alien’s attention and his head snapped up, his mandibles shaking and his eyes wide with shock.

“I…I…was just…” He stammered, the metallic vibrations of his overtone doing little to cover the fear.

“Leaving.” It wasn’t a suggestion; Robert’s voice hard, the air still swirling around him.

“It’s ok,” Steve supplied, “He’s just had a long week. We’re just coming to get a few things.” He raised the pitch of his voice to counter the low anger tone of Robert’s own sound.

When they were alone in the office, Steve turned to him, his eyes narrow and arms behind his back. “Was that really necessary?” Robert lowered his gaze. “Hey, let’s get you out of that suit. Ok,” he said as his left hand was stroking Robert’s cheek.

Steve worked as only a mechanic could, quickly disengaging and removing each piece before Robert had a chance to reach for the same one. After a few minutes, Robert was sitting in his chair, the ground littered with the shells that had been relentlessly attacking him for the past hour.

Steve looked down at his handiwork and clicked his tongue, “Maybe we should bring it back with us, I could use more practice with heavy armor.”

He was too tired for games, so Robert merely replied with a no. His stomach rumbled again, and Steve snapped back into action. There was a small bathroom in the back corner and Steve disappeared behind the door, returning a moment later with a bundle of clothes in his hand. He laid them on the desk and stood behind Robert in his chair. His hands rested on his shoulders and he began to squeeze them. The aching spread from his fingertips in waves and Robert tensed up, trying to resist the touch.

“Steve, I really appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I just want to stuff about ten pounds of food in my mouth right now and sleep for about a week. So please, let me get dressed so you can buy me dinner.”

“Ok.” The quiet acquiescence cut Robert deeply. He knew that Steve was just trying to be there for him, and he could only imagine what it would have been like to go to work one day and not know where he was for the next three days; especially when finding out that there was a medical emergency on top of that. He stood up to get dressed and rummaged through the small pile. He snickered at the same time Steve was speaking up.

“Yeah, I didn’t realize until I got in there that there weren’t any underwear. Not like you’ve been missing them today anyway.”

Luckily, the clothes were his loose fitting gym clothes, the freedom granting his sore skin a reprieve from any fabric. He laced up his trainers, and pulled the thin shirt over his head, checking the pockets of his shorts for any extra credit chits.

“It’s cold outside. Do you want your hoodie?” Steve asked as he gripped the bottom, ready to pull it over his head.

“No. I’ll be fine .You wear it. It looks better on you anyway.”

Smiling, Steve picked up the armor, and placed it in the bathroom. There was no need to carry it around with them needlessly. Robert held the office door for him as he walked out and admired the view as it passed him by. It had been awhile since he had worn armor for that long, and he could feel the difference in his movement. He was still hungry and tired, but not being weighed down by another 20 pounds of equipment did wonders for one’s posture and energy.

Once they were back outside on the steps, Steve grabbed Robert’s hand and dragged him down the ramp and toward the station.

“Where are we going?” Robert asked, barely able to keep up.

“Where do you think?”

It was Robert’s turn to smile as he knew exactly where Steve was leading him. It was to the little deli where they had their first lunch and he had shown Steve his amazing table manners. His stomach gurgled its approval as the sign came into view and the smells wafted into his nostrils. Even with so many people out for a night on the town, inside, there was no one in line and Robert grabbed a booth while Steve stood at the counter. He drummed his fingers on the table, his appetite not granting him any patience.

When Steve sat down, two foot-longs in one hand for Robert and a six inch for himself, Robert nearly cried. It wouldn’t have mattered which sandwiches he got, but the fact that Steve brought him his two favorites, a meatball marinara with extra mustard _and_ garden spinach with mango lime sauce solidified in his mind that this man loved him.

He looked from one to the other, the choice of which to devour first a hefty one. Eventually he grabbed the vegetable sandwich, wanting to save the mess for last.

“Thank you babe,” he tried to say, but all that came out was a muffled series of grunts as he had nearly half the sandwich in his mouth. Ordinarily he wouldn’t exactly savor a meal, but tonight with as ravenous as he was, he positively inhaled it. He struggled to swallow, as the bread had soaked up the moisture in his mouth and Steve laughed, pushing a cup of soda to him. He downed it in a few gulps, quickly returning to the task at hand. With the garden sandwich gone, and his stomach placated for a few moments, he could take some time to come up for air.

“So where were you going? You had to have known our line was closed, right?” he asked, hoping that Steve wouldn’t get upset.

Steve put his sandwich down and Robert flushed a little with embarrassment at the fact that he still had half of his six inch left. Neatly, he wiped his mouth with his napkin, clearly enjoying the suspense he was keeping Robert in. When he put the napkin down, he glanced away, toward the dorms and then back to Robert, letting out a small sigh as he did so.

“I don’t know, honestly. I went to see James because I couldn’t sit at home anymore. I needed to get out of the house, and I had nowhere else to go,” his voice got quiet and Robert wondered what was going through his head. “He let me in and we hung out for a minute, but it was clear that I was interrupting something between him and…,” Steve’s eyes sparked and he leaned in to whisper the last part, “Lt. Durand!”

Robert leaned back in his chair, laughing loudly. “It’s about damn time. If neither one of them made a move soon _,_ I was going to lock them in my office myself.”

“So I left. I figured I could ride around a bit, and then walk home. A part of me was hoping that maybe I could find you somewhere along the way,” he reached over and put his hand on Robert’s.

“Well you did.” He started rubbing his thumb in small patterns across Steve’s hand. “Just like you always do,” he lifted Steve’s hand and kissed it, all while he was groaning and rolling his eyes.

“Alright, alright. Let’s finish eating before we start writing love letters to each other from across the room.”

They finished their meal in silence and left the deli. The warm feeling of content that Robert had grown used to from being around Steve settled into him, and now that his hunger’s edge had been soothed, his body moved on to the next item on its list of needs. A powerful yawn exploded from his mouth and he shivered as the cold air ignored his clothes and brushed against his skin. He liked to be cold when he slept, and the temperature outside was just about perfect.

“So where are we going to sleep,” he asked, scarcely able to suppress another yawn.

“I was thinking we could get a room from Lodging. Doesn’t the manager owe you a favor after you broke up the fight in the lobby?”

“Technically no, as it is my job, but I’m sure she won’t mind.”

The Lodging facility was located just on the outside of the dormitories on the far side of HQ from the station. After trying to explain to the front desk worker more than once that yes, they wanted a room and no, they only wanted one bed, they were finally given the room when the assistant manager walked out of his office after hearing Steve yelling about filing a formal complaint.

“Would you really have gone through with it?” Robert asked as they settled into the bed. The room was cozy, not too small, but definitely not built for long term comfort. Already, waves of exhaustion were rolling over him, and he knew it was only a matter of minutes before he was out.

“Probably not. Think of it as a strong procurement tactic,” came the sleepy reply as Steve laid down, adjusting and squirming until he found his usual spot: his head in the crook between Robert’s right arm and his chest, with their legs intertwined, his feet gently sliding up and down Robert’s calves, as both a conscious reminder of contact and an unconscious need to keep warm.

There was no need for “Goodnight” or “I love you” as the two men knew exactly how the other felt. Instead they rested, letting the previous few days wash away.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning Commander. Welcome back.” Robert returned the salute and Lt. Durand crossed the doorway into his office.

“Morning LT. Have you done something with your hair?” He knew she had, it was cropped short on the sides and dyed a deep maroon; the color contrasted very well with her ebony skin. Her large brown eyes showed an intensity of a woman who had been through a hard fight and come out victorious. Her thick lips were painted with a dark lipstick and that was the extent of the makeup she wore. Given her natural beauty along with her strong physique, it was definitely easy to see how she had gotten Vega’s interest. She strode through the room, her movements doing nothing to conceal the power that lay underneath. She was a biotic, a Vanguard as well, and though he had never seen the full extent of her power, he knew she had to be strong due to the fact that she had completed the Nemesis program on the Luna base before Hannibal had been corrupted.

She stopped at his desk and lay a data-pad down, “Just a few minor incidents while you were out: an altercation in the entertainment district, a vandalism report on one of the metro cars and a missing person report.” Her voice lowered with the last entry and Robert took the hint and read through the summary.

Meeting her gaze, he sighed with frustration, “So the same M.O. as the last two. Still no suspects?” Durand shook her head, and Robert scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to get some ideas going from underneath. The three missing people were all of various ages, genders and species, but they had one thing in common: they were all biotics. A startling realization hit him and he stopped his hands mid face, his eyelids pulled down and he gulped. _Banes. He took me, he took them too._ He dropped his hands, resolving to talk to someone higher up when as soon as possible. Eyeing is LT again; he asked if there was anything else to report.

She smiled and in a near musical voice replied, “No sir. Are you ready for the ceremony? If you don’t mind me saying, we’re all so proud of you.” She flashed a bright smile and saluted to exit.

Robert groaned as he threw up a sloppy return salute. He had completely forgotten about the ceremony; ironic because that was the whole reason for the party later. _I wonder if Steve remembered._ Of course he did, he figured, so there was no use in wondering whether or not he’d be there. He stood up, ready to make his rounds, stretching his hands above his head. His comm rang, and he leaned over to activate it.

“Commander. This is Admiral Hackett,” Robert snapped into a salute without thinking, realizing as he did so that Hackett couldn’t see him. Hackett continued, “I’ve received word of your… medical leave. Is there anything you wish to report?” Robert had only met the admiral once, but that was enough to forever instill the memory of the man in his mind. He could picture the admiral, sitting at his terminal, arms folded on the desk with his fingers interlaced and his steel blue eyes boring into him. His face was probably somewhere between neutral and a frown as Robert couldn’t recall any stories of the man smiling.

“Actually Sir, there is one thing,” Robert’s throat dried up and threatened to close. His palms started to sweat and his breathing increased. _I have to tell him about Banes, let him know that he’s here._

“Yes, Commander?” There was a definite lack of patience in Hackett’s voice.

“Sir, I awoke in a cell resembling the one after I was in after Akuze. The layout of the facility here is comparable as well.” He heard Hackett draw a deep breath.

“Many research labs have a similar design Commander; that doesn’t mean they all are some sort of Cerberus plot.”

“With all due respect Sir,” Robert countered, his frustration increasing. He knew this was how the conversation would play out; everyone dismissing his observations just because of what he had been through. “While I understand I may have previous history with the unit known as Cerberus,” he paused, knowing Hackett wouldn’t acknowledge the Alliance’s relationship with Cerberus, but also knowing that Hackett knew Robert had seen information that others had not during his quest for vengeance, “I am positive that during my escape, that I heard one of the guards state that Dr. Banes was present.”

There was silence on the other line for a few moments, and Robert checked the connection to make sure the call had not been lost. When Hackett finally responded, his voice was lower, as if he was trying to maintain patience with a disobedient child.

 “Do you remember anything from that day Commander?”

“No sir,” he replied. In truth he did remember waking up, and kissing Steve. But that was a private detail Hackett didn’t need to worry about. Robert’s nervousness grew. He shifted his weight and started shaking his leg. _What’s he getting at?_

“So you don’t remember leaving your apartment at 0900 and meeting with Lieutenant Vega at Mara et Terra café?”

_How does he know what time I left? Did he talk to Steve? If so that must mean-_

“I gather by your silence, you’re wondering how I know this information. Don’t worry; I see no regulations being broken in your relationship with Lt. Cortez.”

Robert sighed, his nerves eased somewhat. If the choice came down to his career or his love, there was none. He knew Steve would be crushed if he had to make that sacrifice however.

“No doubt waking up in a room with no knowledge of how you got there brought some painful memories from the past, but you were there due to a medical condition. According to Lt. Vega, during a conversation you grabbed your right temple, and subsequently lost consciousness. All biotic patients have been referred to Dr. Banes since the transfer of Dr. Suresh to Ferris Fields. That is why you were in the labs.”

The implication of Hackett’s statement felt like a stab in his back. His clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. The air around him churned, and his skin sparked with blue light while his head pounded with the sound of his heartbeat. _That can’t be right. He couldn’t mean…_

“Sir.” He struggled to keep his voice even, “How is it possible that he’s alive? It was my belief that his body was found by Admiral Kahoku’s men in the Sparta system after an unfortunate drive malfunction left his ship adrift.” It was the cover story that had been given when he had turned himself in to Shepard and divulged his list of victims. _How is he alive? No one could have survived that explosion._

“That’s not important. And it’s not the reason for this conversation.”

Robert had heard enough. Phantom pain and images of all of the torture he endured played in his mind: the thresher maw acid coursing through his veins, searing him from the inside out; the high voltage current that was shot through his system, though he took solace in the fact that at least two of the assistants died when their predictions about the radius of the blast fell short; enhanced omega-enkaphalin, the biotic suppressant, was administered and he was thrown in combat situations to see just how he would fare; and those were just the beginning. _And they kept this man alive, and sent me here with him!_ His rage boiled over and he exploded over the link.

“WHY IS HE HERE?!? THAT MAN DESERVES TO DIE! FOR SIX YEARS HE KEPT ME AS HIS LAB RAT, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THE ALLIANCE NOT ONLY KNEW HE WAS ALIVE, BUT ALLOWED HIM TO CONTINUE TO WORK!?!”

“I advise you to watch your tone in the future _COMMANDER_.” Hackett’s volume had not changed, but hearing the severity in his voice froze the blood in Robert’s veins. He dropped his head, skin flushed first from anger, then shame. He closed his eyes and began to bring his breathing back under control, going through the mental exercises he knew to calm himself. After a minute, he was able to find his tongue again, “My apologies sir, I…I let my feelings get away from me. It won’t happen again.” He slumped into his chair, leaning forward with his hands on his desk. _I should go. Just hang up. It can’t get any worse._

“That is why I’m calling, Toombs. Banes isn’t working for the Alliance, he’s there as a private researcher. As you are no doubt aware, Fehl Prime is in the Terminus Systems which means we’re walking on thin ice as it is just having a presence. Going in ships blazing to arrest one of their greatest minds would more than likely spark a confrontation that we are attempting to avoid.”

As much as he hated to admit it, the admiral was right, and Toombs brought his hand up to massage his forehead. He was going to have quite the tension headache if this kept up.

Hackett continued, “I called you because you’re being reassigned. There are colonists going missing and we need you to figure out why.”

“With all due respect sir, there are colonists missing here as well. We’re still looking into the matter. As of now, there are no suspects and we can find no discernible pattern.”

“Our intelligence says otherwise. You will be reassigned to Ferris Fields in 30 days.”

Robert’s eyebrows rose in surprise. _Only 30 days? But what about Steve?_ His heart sank. Just when the universe had finally seen fit to allow him to be happy, it laughed in his face to take it all away again. His face bunched up, as he knew it would be the hardest thing to leave the man he had become so attached to. But he was a soldier, as was Steve, and this is the life they had signed up for. He swallowed hard, bracing his mind against the storm of emotions that were beginning to swell. He placed his palms on his desk, the heat leaving silhouettes of sweat in their place. 

There was a strained pause before Hackett spoke again, his voice light this time, almost friendly. “Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to change the policy on reassignments. However, the Alliance does everything in its power to ensure that _spouses_ are stationed together.” Another pause as Robert digested what he heard. _Could he mean? Am I supposed to…?_

“I assume you have a lot on your mind, so I’ll let you get to it Commander. Hackett out. And good luck.”

Robert sat in his chair dumbfounded. The sun shone brightly through his too small window, illuminating one small portion of his desk. He followed the light with his eyes, and surrounded in brilliance, in the middle of the halo, was a photo of him and Steve on their vacation to Sao Paulo while Robert was in Rio attending the ICT program. Slowly he reached for the photo, the memories of the day coming back to him:

_“It’s so beautiful here,” Robert said as he turned around the balcony. They were standing outside of Steve’s grandmother’s house and it had the perfect view of both the beaches and the city skyline. The salty air clung to his skin and as he inhaled he realized it smelled familiar._ It’s Steve, _he thought. This is him. He turned to Steve who was looking at him with those gorgeous blue eyes. They were deeper tonight than normal, and Robert knew there was something on his mind. He also seemed a little more quiet than usual while still being a bit twitchy._

_“Are you ok?” he asked, wrapping his arms around him and leaning in for a kiss. Steve’s grandmother, Vovó Doralina, had welcomed him with open arms, joyfully praising the fact that her Estavãozinho had finally brought home a good man._

_“Yea, I’m fine; just taking in the moment.” Steve leaned into him, gently pressing their lips together as Robert pulled him closer. He felt the muscles under Steve’s shirt, firm and strong and the heat rising from them ignited his own passions.  From the street, Robert could hear the sounds of traffic and people, but there was also the quiet melody of music from some performers below. The notes were carried up by the wind, the rhythm pulsing in his veins as the whole city seemed to be alive and waiting for them. Doralina had surreptitiously taken a photo of them in that moment, Steve’s arms around his shoulders, and Robert with one around his waist and the other cupping his head, as their foreheads touched and their lips were either just meeting, or had barely separated. Luna, Earth’s moon was perfectly full and encircling them both and every time he looked at it, Robert could swear he could see them dancing in the frame._

He put the photo down, having come to terms with what Hackett was suggesting. It wasn’t the first time he had thought about it, and something told him the longer he waited, the less of a chance he would get. He looked at the clock, and saw that there were just a couple of hours until the ceremony. _Just enough time to go home and get everything ready._ He took out a key and opened his desk; within the third drawer was a small lockbox, covered with old files. The lock clicked open and inside was an even smaller decorative ivory case. He picked it up, smiling and pocketed it. He knew better than to open it and take out the small band, as he watched enough movies and read enough stories to know that as soon as that happens, something bad occurs. Instead, he closed the drawer and turned off his lights on the way out. Today is a good day; and tonight will be even better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Tools of the Trade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ceremony before the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this one is pretty short, mostly because I wrote two exceedingly long ones before, and I felt that I was getting to be a little wordy. So while nothing totally groundbreaking happens here, there is a bit of development.

Steve was staring at the screen in front of him. Well, to be more accurate he was staring, and the screen happened to be in front of him. Really, he was lost in thought, contemplating the previous few days, and what they might mean. He was glad Robert was back, there was no questioning that, but a few things still bothered him. Things such as: where had he been for the past three days; and who was Dr. Banes and why did he suddenly have all the biotic personnel in the research facility? Little things bothered him too, such as when they went to bed, Robert had a small burn on his neck, and now this morning, it’s gone. Also, and this one he wasn’t so sure about, but the nightmares had come back. Or at least, Robert had one last night.

The nightmares were something he had to get used to when they first started sharing a room, a life together. Usually they would happen when Robert was beyond exhausted, but sometimes large amounts of stress could trigger one. Robert never discussed them, always assuring him that they were memories from Akuze; things he’s seen hundreds of times already. Steve didn’t entirely believe him as he suspected there was more to it than that, but nonetheless he had gotten used to them, Robert shaking in his sleep, sometimes whispering and pleading unintelligibly, sometimes grunting and moaning as if in agony, but they had started to dwindle in frequency and intensity as time went on. The one from last night though, completely woke Steve up, the tingling sensation on his back that he had come to associate with Robert and pleasure, but more harsh and concentrated, almost as if he was trying to use his biotics.

That wasn’t the scariest part though. He could get past the unconscious use of a Barrier. What truly rattled him was the vacant look in Robert’s eyes when Steve had finally managed to wake him and sit him up. They were wide and confused and the look he was giving Steve left him feeling vulnerable, almost as if Robert was going to lash out. Likewise, he didn’t respond to Steve’s voice, at least not in any way that would show that he was cognizant of his whereabouts. Then, as suddenly as the nightmare had started, it ended; Robert falling back to the bed, his eyes closed and he was peacefully snoring again.

When they woke up this morning, Steve had tried to gently broach the subject, but Robert both didn’t remember it, and wouldn’t talk about it anyway. Plus, he had reminded Steve, they needed to hurry home to get ready for work. “The colony won’t stop just because I’m back,” he had said, smiling that smile he got when he really wanted to convince himself to do something. Steve figured it was best to drop the subject after that.

 _Oh well_ , he thought, _what’s done is done. I’m glad he’s back._ He focused on the screen in front of him, glancing at the clock as he did so. On the dash was a reminder: Ceremony- 1400. He smiled, the pride welling up in him as he knew how hard Robert had worked for this. The look on Robert’s face when he saw Steve getting off the shuttle in Rio and the sound of his voice when he excitedly embraced him brought a smile to his lips.

 _Rio…Sao Paulo…Vovó Dorolina._ Steve’s thoughts traced a mental thread as his eyes moved to the picture next to his computer. He picked it up, the memories flooding back to him.

_“It’s so beautiful here.” Steve watched as Robert turned slowly about in a circle, appreciating the impressive view._

_Steve too, thought it was beautiful, one of the reasons he came back to Sao Paulo often as he could. That and to appease his grandmother. She had inspected Robert, walking around him, her eyes magnified comically behind her eyeglasses, with her hands on her hips as she scrutinized him. When she was satisfied with his form, she grilled him over his career, his personal history, and specifically why he was interested in her Estavãozinho._

_Apparently Robert had given acceptable answers. She laughed, gave him a big hug, and told him to get ready for dinner. When Robert left the room, she took Steve aside._

_“I know he’s not telling everything,” she started. “There is more to him than meets the eye…” she paused, taking Steve’s hands in her own and looking deeply into his eyes, and he could see the beauty and wisdom in her own sapphire orbs. “But whatever he’s not telling me, I know this: he loves you and would do anything in the world for you. And because of that, I give him my blessings.”_

_After hearing that, Steve had hugged her close, and went to join Robert on the balcony. Now he was standing, watching the man whom he shared his days with being stricken by the nightline of his city. He reached his hand into his pocket, gripping the ebony case that he had painstakingly crafted himself and imagined the circlet inside; the question that he wanted to ask, that was on the tip of his tongue every time they kissed, the back of his throat as they made love, and even caught in his chest when they argued._ Soon, _he thought,_ I’ll ask him soon.

_“Are you ok?”  Robert asked him, his red eyes glowing, reflecting the lights of the city. They were embers that constantly smoldered, keeping Steve warm. He stepped to Steve, and he felt himself being enveloped, his body supplely leaning and arching as Robert bent for a kiss. It burned, it smothered and Steve wanted that feeling forever; he wanted to wake up breathing in the earthy scent from the man, and go to sleep feeling his heat._

_“Yea, I’m fine; just taking in the moment.” Again the question was there, and with his arms around Robert’s neck and Robert’s arms around him, it would be all too easy to get lost in the moment. Instead, he reeled himself in,_ Not now. Not here. Today is about him, I can wait. _So they stood, embracing each other, Luna bathing them in her soft glow as bands filled the air with music from below._

His console beeped, indicating he received a new message. Steve took one more glance at the picture and put it down, needing to turn his attention back to his work. He clicked on the message, labeled _For Your Eyes Only_ and was greeted with an interesting sight.

The return address indicated the message came from somewhere very high in Alliance research. Why he had received it, he didn’t know, and everything in his training and protocol said that she shouldn’t read it, and to go let a superior know immediately. However, something told him that this was meant for him, and he could always say he opened it before he saw the address.

There was no text in the body of the message, only an attachment, so Steve clicked on it and let out grunt of surprise. The schematics it contained were for a set of armor, a type he had never seen before.

First of all, it was thin. It looked as if it were modified Onyx armor, with some sort of heavy weave in place of armor plating. The boots came up to just below the knees and were reinforced both above and below with metal joints. The shoulders were similarly reinforced and there was a heavier metal on the chest. Being both a pilot and armorer, he immediately recognized the significance: this suit was made for someone with a quick strike capability, not unlike his Trident. Curious, he uploaded the schematics to the projector in order to get a full three dimensional look. Rotating the armor around, showed more of the same lightweight, quick strike capability, with all of the usual magnetic holsters and…wait… _What is that holster for?_ Slotted next to the assault rifle was a thin strip, which he assumed to be for another weapon, but he couldn’t think of any gun he had seen that was that thin.

He heard the door open and quickly shut down the projector, after all, the message did say for his eyes only. Heavy footsteps echoed down the hangar and he recognized them without even looking.

“Good afternoon Mr. Vega.”

“Hey Esteban, some of the guys are going out to eat, you hungry?”

“Sure, where are we going? And please don’t say Mara et Terra. Sometimes I feel like that’s the only place around.”

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t Mara et Terra. Unfortunately that meant the base cafeteria and Steve would have opted for the former given the choice. He sat down next to James who was already stuffing his face with whatever meat that happened to be. After pushing his potatoes around for a bit, he looked up to see one of the younger men staring at him. His eyes were narrowed just a bit and his jaw was clenching slightly. Clearly he had something to say. Steve glanced at his shoulder, checking his rank and scanned his nametag.

“Something on your mind Private Todd?” He didn’t want to intimidate the guy, but his glare was getting under Steve’s skin.

Todd grunted and looked around. One of the other servicemen glanced at Steve, and then looked at the floor quickly and another excused herself to “go get more pudding.” Only Vega looked as if nothing was wrong, but then again, he probably wasn’t listening.

“Yea. I was wondering how a man like _you_ is with a man like _him,”_ there was a touch of venom in his voice. At this James dropped his fork, meat dangling from his mouth. Steve ignored him.

“And what do you mean by that _Private_?”

“ _Sir_ ,” he responded, adding more bite, “I’m asking how you trust a man who attacks innocent people and trashes a medical facility on his way out? What do you see in him?”

Steve froze; his mind numb from what he just heard. The Robert he knew would never do such a thing. But then again, there were the nightmares, the feeling Steve got that Robert wasn’t telling him everything, and well, the gap in his service record. Steve had looked it up once before, and it listed everything Robert had done until 2177, then nothing until 2183; a six year gap, protected by the thin veil known as “classified”. How do you trust a man like that?

 _Easily and with my life_ , came his immediate thought. Robert had done nothing but love him, and whether or not there was more to it, maybe some missions that ended badly, or whatever, it wasn’t Steve’s place to go digging. Everyone has a past; some people just want to keep theirs quieter.

“Whatever I see in him is my business. And I’m sure there was a good explanation for what happened. Maybe an adverse reaction to some medication?” He wasn’t sure if even he believed what he was saying, but he was not about to let run of the mill gossip ruin Robert’s reputation.  It was hard enough knowing that few people actually respected him as it was.

“My roommate, Priestley works as a guard down there. He said the Commander just flipped out and went all assassin on everyone!”

“So Todd,” Vega interrupted, “How many people died?” Vega bumped Steve’s shoulder with his, raising his eyebrow at the same time. Apparently he was aware of the story.

“Well, no one, but there were some injuries!”

“Yea, some bruises and maybe a twisted ankle, from the report I saw. You weren’t here when we went a round or two. Trust me, if _Rojo_ wanted to cause some damage, he would have.” This seemed to quell the mood and any further discussion was quashed with the looks given by both James and Steve.

After lunch was over, Steve practically had to run back to HQ to catch the ceremony. It was being held in the auditorium on the first floor, but even so, it was pretty crowded and unfortunately he had to stand in the back. There was a screen in place, hanging in the middle of the room, showing the people on the stage and Steve could see Robert standing there, doing his best to maintain a neutral look, but after a year of being together he could recognize his unease. Aside from being nervous, Robert looked great, standing in his dress blues with his service medals pinned squarely on his chest. He shook hands with all of the prominent colonial leaders and the speeches began.

Last to speak was the colony liaison to the Alliance, and he went on about how it was an honor to work with someone as dedicated as Robert and how the colony was so proud to call him their protector. Then he pulled out a data-pad.

“This message comes directly from the instructors at the Interplanetary Combative Training program in Rio de Janeiro. It reads as follows:

_Ladies, gentlemen and all manner of beings,_

_It is with great pride that we award this certificate of completion of the N7 training program to Lt. Commander Robert Toombs. Through his hard work and perseverance, he has managed to become one of the elite fighting forces of the Alliance military. Due to his previous capabilities, demonstrated ability to perform under dire circumstances, his time in the field and other qualifications, Lt. Commander Toombs has completed the course in near record time setting a new standard for the best of the best. However, this is not all. During his time in the course, Commander Tombs displayed techniques and abilities not previously seen since its inception. After much deliberation, the instructors have agreed that new classes must be offered, with more specialized focus for participants who show extreme capability. Therefore we present to you, Lt. Commander Toombs, your new designation, the first official N7 Slayer Vanguard of the ICT program. Congratulations.”_

With that the liaison motioned and one of the stagehands brought over a black case. It was long and thin, and Steve, along with the rest of the auditorium held their breath as they waited for it to be opened.

Robert shook hands with the liaison, and took the case. Instead of opening it immediately, he turned to go back to where he was standing previously.

“You’re not going to open it? I’m sure we’re all curious to know what’s inside,” the liaison spoke into the microphone, his smile and eyes wide as he incited the crowd. “Come on everyone, aren’t you curious too?”

The crowd cheered its approval, and Steve laughed at the shade of red Robert was turning on the screen. With no other means to placate the masses, Robert set the case on the podium, sighed and unhinged the latches. The lid faced the crowd blocking their view, but Steve could see the top of Robert’s face, his eyebrows shooting up into high arches and his mouth formed a little “o” as he let out a long breath.

Watching as Robert reached into the case, Steve could feel the anticipation in the air. Everyone was leaning forward, and those standing were on their toes, each wanting to be the first to see. Whatever it was, it was bright, as it caused a flare across the room when it was finally lifted.

 _Are you kidding me? Why in the world would they give him that?_ Steve looked around and just about everyone had the same perplexed look on their faces; everyone except for Robert, who must have forgotten the world existed, because he was in awe, holding the blade horizontally in front of him, a look of pure rapture on his face. An unfamiliar feeling started welling up within Steve. _I am NOT jealous of a ceremonial sword. Am I?_ He could count on his hand the number of times Robert had looked so happy, and the fact that an object did this to him, well it was a little insulting.

“Nice…uh…sword there, Commander. So are you going to hang it on your shelf at home?” The liaison and the audience clearly were not impressed, but the look Robert gave them cowed everyone into submission.

“This is no relic, or piece of art,” Robert began, consternation in his voice. “This is a monomolecular blade, capable of cutting through nearly any material,” he brought the blade inward, close to his chest, and Steve watched with amusement as the liaison’s eyes bulged with fear. With a quick flick of his wrist, a small blue wave extended from the blade, washing through the air and dissipating before the front row. It was then that Steve put two and two together: the message from this morning wasn’t just any random armor, it was _Robert’s_ armor. Whoever sent it must know they were together and wanted to give him a heads up.

Robert’s display got the attention of everyone still in attendance, with the liaison taking a step back and muttering under his breath. With the presentation concluded, the ceremony trickled to an end and Steve stayed in the back, patiently waiting for the assembly to file out.

“Look at you and your fancy new toy,” he said when he finally was able to reach the stage, giving Robert a wink as he did so. He was given incredulous looks by the remaining big wigs, and Robert rolled his eyes as he went through the introductions. They chatted for a minute, presumably more so for the photo op, than for any actual level of fellowship and excused themselves soon after the cameras stopped flashing.

Walking alone to the station, Steve wanted nothing more than to lean into him and hold his hand, but with them being in uniform, the most he could settle for was walking side by side. They got to the rail and Steve stopped, grabbing Robert’s sleeve.

“Hey, I have to go to the Officer’s club early to make sure everything is set up. I won’t make it home, so I’ll meet you at the party ok?”

“Sure. I have to head home after work anyway. Do you need me to bring anything from the house when I come?”

“No. My outfit’s at James’ place. I’ll just pick it up from there and change at the club.” Steve glanced around, making sure there were no higher ups in sight. Seeing none, he stepped up and gave Robert a peck on the cheek. “Don’t be late, Commander. It’s your party.” He sauntered off after that, and knowing that Robert was watching him walk away, he put an extra little _oomph_ in his step. Not long after he got out of the station, he got a message on his omni-tool. It was a picture of him walking away and a thumbs-up in the frame. _It’s going to be a good night._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as usual: I hope you enjoy, and would love some feedback!


	7. And He Liked It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's party time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. This one is a bit fluffy, so yeah...

Robert sat back in the chair, unsure of whether or not he was going crazy. No sane person would be doing what he did, but then again, few people who lived his life would qualify as sane anyway. With that conclusion, he decided that even if he was going crazy, at least maybe something good could come out of it. He leaned forward, closing the microphone on his omni-tool and listening to the message again. _Should I include a holo? Maybe he would appreciate that. Or would that be weird?_ Sighing, he closed the app; it was something he would have to deal with later and it really wasn’t like he was planning on sending it out anyway. And besides, this was more for his benefit than for practicality, as he would never live it down if Steve found out.

He checked the time. It was getting close to the start of the party, and he was damn sure not going to be late and disappoint his man after all the work he had put into the whole affair. This was of course despite the fact that Robert protested the thing from the beginning, but Steve had convinced him that he had worked hard and deserved to be recognized and rewarded. He stood up, stretching his arms above his head and headed to the bathroom. He needed a shower, and to trim his hair and beard. During his few days in the bowels of the colony, it wasn’t like he had the opportunity to shape up.

The hot water ran down his body, and he felt himself easing into the stream. There hadn’t been any time to recover since he had made his great escape and now was the only time he could afford to until after the party ended. He felt his muscles relaxing; the warmth from the water working its way into the tissue and the steam was clouding his vision and fogging the glass. Breathing deeply, he braced his forearm against the wall, leaning his head against the cool stone of the shower. Burning streams ran down his back, the scalding melting away the grit and grime not only of the day, but taking the strain of his memories with it.

His muscles giving into the heat and his thoughts succumbing to those of respite, he felt himself growing. Before he knew it, his hand was wrapped around himself and he was slowly pulling along. _I shouldn’t do this, I should wait._ What he really wanted though, was to feel Steve around him _, The things he can do with his mouth-_ the thought of which caused a jolt of pleasure to shoot through his erection as his body imagined the feeling. 

He looked around and grabbed the body wash from the shelf: _Extra moisturizing for smooth, soft skin._ A generous handful later, and he was enjoying the sensation of the cream, water, and thoughts of Steve intensely. The pleasure was nowhere near what it would be if his lover was there, kneeling in front of him, but Robert continued on; calling this week stressful was beyond an understatement, and he just wanted some relief. And wasn’t as if Steve wouldn’t be around to do it again, _Unless he says no._ His eyes burst open and he shivered as the thought shot through him, his blood chilling and he stopped mid stroke. It had never occurred to him that Steve would say no…but what if he did? Do people stay together after that? Could he?

Having thoroughly killed his own libido, he washed quickly and stomped out the bathroom.  After drying off, he went about finding something to wear. He didn’t have to look hard, as there was an outfit already laid out on the bed. He smirked, knowing that Steve must have taken it out before he left for work that morning, as Robert had to leave before him. He hadn’t seen it before, so it must have been bought just for this occasion. The coat was dark blue with white accent markings on the shoulders and along the inside edges, bordering the collar. The pants were the same dark blue with a long white strip along the outer seam.

He put it on and checked himself in the mirror. _Damn he has good taste._ Before walking out the door, he remembered the most important piece of his ensemble. _Would be a shitty proposal without a ring to go with it._ Pocketing the case, he strode out into the evening air.

The trip on the metro was uneventful, save for the constant ogling he was getting from all manner of passengers. As he rode with his hands in his lap, thumbs twirling, and palms itchy, he tried to calm himself down. _I love him, he loves me, and nothing will change that. If he says no, I’ll still love him. But he’s going to say yes. He HAS to say yes. Doesn’t he?_ He decided that if he’s going to go down, he’s going down fighting, _Might as well go all the way._ With that thought, he opened up the library on his omni-tool and began looking for a song. None of the current tunes really had the tone he was going for, so he did a search on the extranet looking for a song his grandfather used to sing to his grandmother. He could remember the words, because they made such an impression on him when he was younger, but not the tune, so when the opening notes began to play, and the man’s voice came on, he was completely enraptured. _This! This is it!_ He set about remembering it for later.

The temperature was cool, but not nearly as cold as it had been the previous days during the week. Robert chuckled to himself as the thought of even the weather rewarding him floated through his mind. The sun was still setting, casting orange and red waves across the violet canvas of the encroaching night sky, and the two of the moons were full, rising a full hour before the third. He could even make out some light, wispy clouds way up in the sky. All of this was in stark contrast to the Officer’s Club he was now standing in front of.

The club was two stories, and there were lights brightly piercing the area. A long red carpet was rolled out, and many people were standing off to the sides, sectioned off by the ropes.  It was if everyone was waiting for some sort of celebrity.

“Hey Commander! Over here!” He heard James’ overexcited shout over the throng of people and made his way to the end of the carpet. When he finally came into view, Robert’s jaw dropped.

James was wearing a black suit coat with a white strip down one inseam. The collar was high barely covering his tattoos, and the suit fit just over his muscles, accentuating his form but not suffocating him at all.

“You clean up nicely James,” he ventured, trying to sound unimpressed.

“Yea well it was either a high collar or lay on some girl’s makeup. I like collars.”

“You can still kick it up though, you know, accessorize a little.” Robert turned to the other familiar voice and once again had to clean his dignity off the floor.

Lieutenant Veronique Durand sashayed over to the pair, one hand on her hip, the other not-quite dangling at her side. Her dress was a long Asari make, another maroon adornment that complemented her dark features and matched her hair color. It too had a high, thin collar and the accent on the trim was a deep purple. The shoulders were cut out and the sleeves were short and she was wearing elbow length gloves that were the same deep purple as the trim. Robert turned to James and instantly recognized _that_ look in his eye. It was still there a moment later as she sidled up next to him.

“Oh yea, like how?” The man was practically purring as she looped her arm through his. “That’ll work,” he said, escorting her down the carpet.

Just as Robert was getting the tiniest bit frustrated that _he_ was told not to be late, yet Steve was nowhere to be found, he felt a tap on his shoulder. And for the third time in less than two minutes, both gravity and surprise had his mouth hanging wide open.

Steve circled him slowly, with that extra bounce he always did when he _knew_ he was looking good (which was most of the time come to think of it). His suit was white, more form fitting like Veronique’s dress, than either his or James’s suits but it had no collar, leaving everything above his collarbone exposed. Instead there was a red trim line in the center of the vest that separated at the top and ventured over his shoulders.  His pants fit very snuggly (too snugly for Robert’s comfort as he saw the looks Steve was getting from some of the other men in the crowd), allowing his not so secret assets to be shown off.

The desire that dripped from his mouth and whet Robert’s ears when he spoke made Robert thankful that he hadn’t finished what he started earlier.

“Oh Commander, suited and booted. Lookin good.”

“You too, but I have to say it’ll look better on the floor.”

“I bet it will.” Steve flashed a sideways glance and bit his bottom lip as he looked over his shoulder. “Aren’t you coming? We can’t start without the guest of honor.”

Needing no further encouragement, he trotted after him and wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him close and together they walked down the carpet. _Just practice for when we do it for real._ Again, Robert was gripped with nervousness, his free hand sneaking into his pocket and touching the case. Everything he could ever hope for in a future rested on four words, and the chance that maybe, whatever entity guided the cosmos could find it in its heart to let this work out for him.

Inside there were even more people and Robert was shocked that so many would come out just to support him.

“Steve, how did you get so many people to come?”

Steve looked around, sheepishly and then grinned. “Originally, there weren’t supposed to be this many. Only a handful had RSVP’d but then the ceremony happened and you did your show with the sword. I guess people want to see their new _Slayer_.”

True enough, just as soon as Steve finished that sentence, a group rushed up and surrounded them.

“Can you do that sword trick again?”

“I didn’t know you were a biotic!”

“Can I have your babies?”

Terrified, Robert turned to Steve, but somehow he had disappeared, leaving him to fend for himself.

Seeing James and Veronique at a large round table, Robert managed to extricate himself from the mob and made his way over.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Oh no, go ahead,” she replied, a faint smile tugging at her lips. James said nothing, keeping his eyes locked on some distant point and Robert noticed he was struggling to maintain a neutral expression. He glanced around trying to find what James could be staring at, and coming up with nothing, shifted his focus back to the pair. _Oh I see._

“Really guys? Here?” He noticed her arm under the table.

She giggled and James grunted. “It was a dare. Well a bet really. He told me I didn’t have the _cojones_ to do it. I said if I did, then we get to try that thing that I’ve been wanting to do.” The smug look on her face told him that she was probably going to enjoy whatever it was, and the deep red James was turning could either mean he didn’t want to enjoy it, or he knew he would. Either way, Robert was dying to know what it was.

“So…are you going to tell me, or just keep me in suspense?”

The look that James shot him was enough to abate his curiosity, for the time being at least.

“ _Mierda!_ ” he whispered through gritted teeth. “You win.” Durand stopped, and excused herself to go wash her hands.

Robert stared at him with a mix of incredulity and approval. “Did you really just…”

“NO! I stopped her before…you know.” James was breathing heavily, no doubt trying to regain some composure. Robert laughed, then glancing around the room, turned back to James.

“Do you know where Steve is? We came in together and then he disappeared.”

James shook his head as he scanned the room. He tilted his head over his left shoulder. He sighed and then leaned into Robert, “Looks like you might have your own bet amigo.” Robert followed his gaze and saw Veronique and Steve over at the bar, she laughing and making gestures and Steve looking intently at him with and extremely devious look on his face.

“We’ll see.” The two sat in silence for a bit as the party went on. The music was lively and people were engaged in all manner of conversations and dancing. Robert leaned back, taking a sip of water from the glass on the table as the ring case pressed against his leg. _When am I going to do this?_

“James, can I ask you something?” he tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice, but if anyone would know where Steve’s head is at, surely his best friend would.

“No I’m not telling you what she was talking about,” James arms were now folded across his chest and he leaned back in an aggressive posture.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” James let out a shallow breath. Attempting to inhale some courage of his own, Robert pressed on, “If I asked Steve tonight, do you think he would marry me?”

James’ eyes widened, brows shooting up as his nostrils flared. Robert heard some small sound get caught in his chest. “I…I…I… You got a ring?”

Robert checked the room again, making sure Steve was nowhere around.  The coast was clear so he pulled the case out from his pocket and handed it to James. He laughed seeing the big man handle something so gingerly and welled with pride when he saw him blush as he opened it to view the band. James looked at him, mouth opening and closing with nothing coming out. Suddenly he snapped the case close and moved his hand under the table. “Esteban? Where have you been?”

Robert turned around to see Steve standing behind his shoulder. _Did he see it?_ His heart pounded in his chest, and he was sure that everyone at the next table over could hear it thumping through the floor. Under the table, he felt something brush his leg and he knew James was passing the case back to him; he took it and immediately threw it back into his pocket.  He met Steve’s eyes, and his lover bent low and kissed him, a seething joining that had Robert’s nerves on fire and his body wanting more. “Dance with me.” There was no denying that sensual tone.

They made their way to the floor and Robert moved the case from his pants to his jacket in the hopes that there would be less of a chance of Steve feeling it pressed against him. The music changed from the pounding techno beats to a softer set of songs, and couples from all over the club began to congregate with their significant others. At first they danced facing each other, Robert’s hands on Steve’s waist and Steve hugged close caressing Robert’s back. Eventually they ended up with Steve’s back pressed against Robert, and him leaning down over Steve’s shoulder. At this point, this close, he couldn’t help himself and began kissing his neck and whispering in his ear.

“I love you, you know.”

“I know.”

“No Steve. I mean it…I…” _Just do it! He’s right here! It’s perfect!_ He shifted, body tingling, all thoughts focused on this one mission-

“Alright ladies and gentlemen!” the DJ broke in, “it’s karaoke time!”

A loud cheer erupted from the crowd, and everyone looked around to see who was going to be the first brave soul. No one moved and after a few encouragements by the DJ for volunteers, it seemed as if was going to be a bust. _Not one moment for granted…_

* * *

 

“I’ll do it.”

Steve stopped in disbelief as Robert let go of him and made his way to the stage. There was a look of determination on his face that he hadn’t seen since the last time Robert had tried, and almost managed to impress him and James with his culinary improvements. _Oh this is going to be good._

He watched as Robert sent his choice to the DJ, who after making an unsure face, shrugged his shoulders and cued the music. The first few bars played as Robert closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The crowd was silent; no one had anticipated HE would get up there and most were curious about how he would sound. Even Steve hadn’t really heard him sing, so he moved to be in front of the center of the stage.

_Everybody’s looking for that something. One thing that makes it all complete. You’ll find it in the strangest places, places you never knew it could be…_

The voice that came out was not the one Steve had come to know. It was stronger, more confident, and full. The whole building stopped what they were doing as Robert’s deep notes echoed through the air.

“… _who can deny the joy it brings, when you find that special thing, You’re flying without wings…”_

The significance was not lost on Steve, and just to hear Robert singing about his love had tears welling in his eyes, but to be _so good_ had his heart and mind doing flips and twists as the performance continued.

“ _You’ll find it in the deepest friendships…the kind you cherish all your life…_ ” Robert’s hand was extended, gesturing between Steve and James, who had silently made his way next to him, Veronique on his other side.

“ _and when you know how much that means, you found that special thing, you’re flying without wings.”_

Robert’s eyes were closed now, lost in the song, the audio emulators carrying his booming voice to all within the crowd.

“ _So impossible as they may seem, you have to fight for every dream. Cuz who’s to know, which one you let go, would have MADE. YOU. COMPLETE!”_

His eyes snapped open, the most intense red he had ever seen them, and locked onto Steve, and everyone else melted away. Robert was the only one in the room. He reached out his hand, and Steve stepped forward, mesmerized and wanting to be there, next to him, embracing him.

“ _But for me it’s waking up beside you, yea. To watch the sun rise on your face. To know that I can say I LOVE YOU, at any given time or place…”_

Steve climbed the stage and stood facing him, trembling with emotion. He knew with every fiber of his being what was about to happen. And he was trying to prepare himself.

“ _You’re the place my life began, and you’ll be where it ends. I’m flying without wings, cuz that’s the joy you bring. I’m flying without…wings…”_

The song ended, and Robert stepped forward, slowly embracing Steve, the crowd awed into silence, and folded his arms around him. With the eternity and force of a lumbering  Mako, he leaned into Steve and pulled him closer than he would have ever thought possible. Their lips met and this time, a blue field emerged from Robert as he immersed himself completely into their kiss. The tingle was familiar, ripples of energy cascading across his skin but more penetrating than usual and Steve’s pulse raced with each ebb and flow. _I wish I was biotic, just his once. I wonder what our energies would feel like…”_

Robert pulled away, and took a step back, the crowd roaring with approval and catcalls as well as shouts and applause thundered through the room.

“Steve,” he began, and Steve’s heart skipped about three beats. “You have done more for me than you’ll ever know. Before I met you, there was nothing I wanted in life. I was broken, and scarred, a discarded tool that no one could use.” His eyes watered as he looked at Steve, and Steve’s face was moist from his emotions.

“I was lost in a storm of my own making. And with no way to know it would even work, or what you were even doing, you braved that storm and sought me out. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you.” At this he got down on one knee. _Here it comes_.

“Steven Cortez, will you marry me?” Robert’s voice wavered and he reached into his pocket and brought out a small black case. When he saw it, he looked at it, first perplexed, then horrified, “but this isn’t…”

Steve then pulled out a white case from his own pocket, and got down on his knee, “Robert Toombs, will you marry me?”

* * *

 

Robert looked at the man in front of him, holding the white ring case that _he_ had bought. _What in the world? When did he?_ He looked down at the black case in his hand and cracked it open. Inside there was a thick black band made of what seemed to be a blend of tungsten and some sort of off world metal with a large ruby and two smaller sapphires, one on each side, inset into the metal at the top. On the inside, was a laser engraved fingerprint.  No longer able to contain them, his tears fell and the sobs of joy poured from him. He realized he never answered Steve, but there was no way he could make any other sounds as he was too busy both laughing and crying, so he nodded and pulled him close. 

* * *

 

Steve was on cloud nine as the man of his dreams wrapped him in his arms, choking on sobs and laughs, nodding his ascent to marriage. Tears welled in his eyes as he leaned forward and whispered into Robert’s ear, “Yes. Yes I’ll marry you.” He opened the case he was holding and inside was a thinner band. He knew the texture and color as a platinum and palladium mix, from his time modding equipment, but there was something else too. Inlaid in a band through the center was a dark core, seeming like a power node that lost its fuel source.

He felt Robert’s hand alongside his own and he allowed him to pick the ring out of the case. Gingerly, and lovingly, Robert slid the ring over his finger, and when the ring settled, the stripe in the middle hummed to light, and a weak blue surfaced. Steve gasped and looked into Robert’s eyes.

“It’s platinum, palladium and a little element zero. I wanted you to see what you do to me.”

Steve flushed, his shade deepening just a little more. Robert kissed him again and Steve slid his ring over his finger, “Now we match.”

“Get a room you two!”

The moment was broken with cheers and more clapping and Steve’s gaze roamed over the room, finding Veronique with a wistful look on her face and James with an unreadable expression. He stood up, bringing Robert with him and took a bow. It was a beautiful performance after all.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My initial project is now seeming a bit overwhelming, so I think I'm going to finish the Robert/Steve arc and rearrange/edit some tags. After that, I don't know...maybe I'll continue, I have a story I want to tell, but we'll see.


	8. Til Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Steve on vacation. Of course the past is right around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!! 
> 
> First of all, I apologize to the three people waiting to read this. LOL. I know it took awhile, but I swear this chapter went through about six rewrites before becoming the glorious mess you are about to read.

Robert shifted, not too quickly however, and cracked an eye open. The artificial light from the open blinds bathed the room in a warm yellow glow and he could see particles in the air dancing through the beam. He yawned, again trying to remain as silent and still as possible, so as not to wake his new husband. _I can’t believe it’s been a week already,_ he thought as he lay on the couch. After the party, Robert told Steve about his impending transfer, and Steve decided they needed to go and get the marriage license as soon as the court opened after the weekend. They agreed that if they were going to have an actual wedding ceremony, then it would be best to wait until after the move, so as to limit the possibility of Murphy’s Law coming into effect. Now, a week later, Robert was pinned to the couch with his napping husband drooling on his chest.

For whatever reason, Robert had it in his mind that once they were married, things would change. He could never determine exactly what those changes would be, but on some level he was afraid of becoming  _those_ people; the ones who fawned over each other all the time, always talking about their spouse, constantly reminding everyone else how they found their one true love. Thankfully nothing like that seemed to be on the horizon, and in fact, the two of them seemed more relaxed about the relationship than they had been previously. _Maybe we were both worried about it not going anywhere_.

While most of Robert’s week had consisted of moving some files from his office to Durand’s, it had been a brutal one for Steve. It seemed his CO was none too thrilled about losing her best armorer and modification expert, so she sent him every last requisition and repair piece she could find. These included a complete overhaul of the ten Tridents that the colony owned, more systems mods on the Kodiak, and the cleaning and repair of all arms the Alliance had in storage. He didn’t have to do it alone of course, but the simple fact that it all had to be done before he left was what had put the urgency in the situation and the strain in his back.

And it was due to that strain and the events of the previous week that Robert insisted on some time off. When he brought up the idea, he was sure Steve would want to go to back to Sao Paulo to tell Doralina the good news. Instead, he said he wanted to go to the Citadel, as it had been a few years since he had been and he wanted to see how the rebuilding process was going after the battle with Saren. Now, here they were, in a room in the Zakera Wad, finally enjoying some downtime.

Robert smiled as he reflected on how just over a year ago, he would never had thought this would be possible for him; how he knew he would never amount to anything anyone could ever hope to love and yet he was lying on the couch, breathing in the smell of his husband and serving as a living mattress for an exhausted soldier who was more than eager to come home to him every day.

As gently and slowly as he could, so as not to wake the napping man on top of him, he bent low to press a kiss to Steve’s forehead. At that exact moment however, he jumped as his omni-tool buzzed, indicating he received a message. He tried to silence it quickly, but the damage had been done. Steve struggled to stay asleep even as his eyes were opening.

“Uughh…” he groaned, smacking his lips and wincing as the light stabbed his through his vision. He looked at Robert, and then looked at the couch, his face contorted in confusion. “Uggh?” was all he could manage as he wiped the saliva from his face with the back of his hand.

Chuckling, Robert rolled them over and stood up, amusedly patting away a feeble reach from Steve as his did so. “Good afternoon sleepyhead.” He watched as Steve rolled onto his stomach, and then leaned into a stretch, his arms reaching over the couch as he pulled his legs underneath him before he switched and moved forward, his legs fully extended and his back arching. Robert was pretty sure that any moment now, the man would start purring. “How are you feeling?”

Not bothering to look around, Steve groggily replied, “I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

“Well hurry up, it was your idea to come after all, and you can’t be too tired; the shuttle ride wasn’t that long.” Robert stepped forward and grabbed two handfuls of Steve, massaging the globes of muscle as he bent in low to whisper in his ear, “Or we can stay here and I give you a reason to be tired…”

Steve made a noise that sounded more than vaguely feline, but stepped off the couch, brushing Robert out of the way and reaching over his head and yawning. “No you’re right. Let’s get ready. I want to go to the Presidium.”

They had barely managed to get a room when Robert had called to make the reservations. Most of the prime hotels were full due to the opening of the theater season and this year is the grand premier of Francis Kitts’ Elcor led _Hamlet_ production. Everyone who was anyone had bought a ticket and reserved their rooms over a year in advance. Steve on the other hand was more than ok with that, “ _We’ll just find somewhere else. We don’t need a 5-star vacation to relax.”_ So, he booked a small room in a bed and breakfast type deal, away from the bustle of the amphitheater.

The place was called Shi’ala’s Respite, no doubt a shameless way of garnering customers, considering the resemblance to the actual name of the consort. The room wasn’t bad, an intimate suite with minimalist furniture, the couch was a long, low, white piece and the room was similarly stark. There was no carpet, just a tiled floor with automatic warming. In the middle of the sitting room was a black oval center table, and beyond that a vid screen for entertainment. Behind the couch was the bedroom, with a queen sized bed and large bay windows overlooking the ward. Outside the windows, one could see trails of skycars in the air and the pedestrians going about their day below. It reminded Robert of a distorted version of any large city on Earth. He shook his head, banishing that train of thought from his mind before he went too far down that thread. _Nothing for me there. The only reason to go back is for Steve._

He heard footsteps behind him and felt Steve press up against his back, wrapping his arms around him. “So what did you have planned for us today?” his voice was muffled as it spoke into Robert’s shoulders.

Robert removed Steve’s arms from his waist, “Well you want to go to the Presidium, and so I figured-”

“We could go to the markets?” If he was trying to hide his excitement, he wasn’t doing a very good job.

Groaning and rolling his eyes as he faced his husband, Robert continued, “Yeah, sure. We could do that later, but I wanted to walk around and see some sights first. I mean we have all week, we can buy things later.” The over exaggerated pout he was receiving only made him more resolute to not go shopping today, which he knew only meant that he was going to end up going. 

“Alright fine, let me change clothes and then we can head out.”

One hour and a few changed outfits later, the two of them stepped out into the wards. Robert savored the feeling, walking hand in hand with Steve, feeling as if his world was finally stabilizing. “Hey are you hungry,” he asked, as his stomach rumbled just a little. “We could eat here or wait until we get to the Presidium. If we wait, I know this wonderful place over by the markets.” Steve decided he could wait, as he wanted to see this place that Robert was talking about. Strolling lazily along, they passed the C-sec office, and Robert noticed Steve picked up his pace a bit until they passed. “What was that about?” he asked when they were out of sight and standing at the transit post.

“Nothing,” he lied, blushing.

“You practically ran through there. Come on, you’re not a wanted criminal are you?”

“Wanted, yes. Criminal, almost.” he answered, smirking. Seeing the inquisitive look on Robert’s face, he explained. “One of the officers in there had a crush on me the last time I was here. We went out to Chora’s Den, and I got so drunk that someone else called C-sec and it was either take me home or take me in.” His skin darkened a few shades as Robert stared blankly. He had never seen Steve get _that_ drunk before.

“So, did you ever properly thank him?” Robert raised his eyebrow as he keyed in the input for a rental.

“No, _she_ never got a proper thank you.” Robert’s hand slipped off the keypad and Steve chortled. “What? You don’t think I can get some action from the ladies?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have _pegged_ you as interested…ouch!” Robert rubbed the spot on the shoulder where Steve had socked him, “You could at least wait til we have a wedding before you start the abuse.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet. I can be pretty creative with my ‘abuse’.”

“Hmm…I might just be bad on purpose then. “

Luckily for passerby, the skycar arrived before they could get any friskier. Steve sat down and moved the control screen to the other seat and Robert frowned. “Why do I have to fly?”

“Because my job is to pilot aircraft. The last thing I want to do is fly one on my week off.”

“When was the last time you actually flew?” Robert got into the driver’s seat and brought up the interface. The systems were more modern than the few cars they had on Fehl Prime, but he figured he would be able to figure out the controls easily enough. He couldn’t have been more wrong as they awkwardly lurched upward; Steve laughing throughout the takeoff at the total focus Robert was putting into the effort, and after wobbling while hovering over the launch pad for a few embarrassing moments, he finally managed to pull into the stream of traffic.

They spent a few hours on the Presidium, walking around and enjoying the view of the commons. Robert got more pings on his omni-tool, and ignored them, eliciting a huff from Steve as to how popular his husband was. They managed to get to Apollo’s Café before the lunch rush and got the corner table with a majestic view of the market and the rest of the commons. They felt as if they could see the entire station from where they were, the white architecture rising in the distance, interspersed with the greens from the small parks and the reservoir lakes that dotted the landscape with their blues.

“I can’t believe the Council would inflict the Krogan with such a devastating disease. How do you justify that? Especially after they pretty much saved the galaxy from the Rachni?” Steve asked between bites of his sandwich. He had been stewing over this information since visiting the Krogan memorial statue.

“You were there during the attack on Fehl Prime, they were nothing but brutes and monsters,” Robert’s voice was low, and he looked down at the floor while Steve looked as if he was taken aback by the statement. He sat in silence, putting his sandwich down and resting his hands in his lap watching Robert intently. Robert flushed and shifted uncomfortably, uneasy with the piercing gaze.

“Do you not like aliens?” While his tone wasn’t accusatory, Steve’s question was still a loaded one. It was Robert’s turn to contemplate. He closed his eyes as his memories seeped into his thoughts.

_“I was at the helm of the dreadnaught that killed your father.” The Turian’s voice was a dissonant sound of metal and gravel and it tore through the children assembled in the large room that would soon become their nightmare .Most were from families who couldn’t understand what was going on, many of them too young to have been separated from those families, and all of them terrified of the large alien with the blue sparks coming from his eyes._

_He paced along the front row, stopping in front of Robert and roughly grasped his chin. His talons dug into Robert’s flesh as he hoisted his face to meet his eyes, nearly lifting him off the ground as well. There was no compassion, only an unyielding power, and with almost every fiber of his being, Robert wanted look away and flee from this place; go back to a home he didn’t have. But part of him wanted that power. For someone as small and frail as he was, it could mean the difference between having something to eat or having to… do something in order to eat._

_He was so close Robert could feel the cool air escaping his mandibles when he exhaled, and Robert’s feet were finding less and less purchase on the glossy floor. He stifled a whimper as his neck started to ache, feeling as if his skull was separating from his spine. His lungs started to burn as his shallow breaths were failing to pull in any air. It was so slow, the pain crawling throughout his body. He was used to pain, having lived on the street for most of his life after a drive core exploded outside his neighborhood. His father died in the initial explosion and the day Robert came into the world, his mother left it. Because of the fact that his family was poor and he had nowhere to go, he had to deal with pain however he could, but usually, it was quick, over before he had to acknowledge its presence._

_“My father didn’t fight in the war. He’s retired in Vancouver,” a defiant voice tinged with the onset of the raspyness of adolescence broke through the silence. Vyrnnus whipped around, dropping his prey into a heap, seeking the source of the outburst. Robert coughed as his lungs fought for air and he too sought the boy who spoke._

He opened his eyes, seeing not the amber ones that saved him from before, but the blue ones that saved him most recently. Steve had moved from across the table and was now sitting next to him, concern drawn on his face and his hand stroking his back. Robert then realized that he was cradling his head in his hands.

Steve didn’t say anything, but after they paid and the waiter left, he stood up and took a few steps toward the transit. Confused Robert grabbed his shoulder, “Hey I thought you wanted to go look at some stores?”

A gentle smile formed on his husband’s lips and Steve softly replied, “I’m ready to head back to the room-”

“No you’re not. You’re just saying that because you’re concerned about me. I appreciate it, but I’m fine, really. You wanted to see the market, so let’s go. I’m sure Veronique has a list for you anyway.” Robert emphasized his point by pulling Steve along in the direction of the shopping center. _Besides,_ he thought, _if we go now, we might not have to go later._

Shops lined both sides of the walkway and there were standalone kiosks in the center. Crowds of people milled about, all eager to dump their credits at the flashiest opportunity. As they meandered down the aisle, Robert noticed Steve’s worried glances in his direction and squeezed his hand to reassure him. It was enough to placate him for the moment, but Robert knew that he would soon be worrying all over again. Steve abruptly stopped at one of the shops, Aegohr Munitions, ducking inside and re-emerging with a small case and a big smile, “You can open it later.”

“I really hope you’re not going to blow all of our money on a few trinkets. We still have a whole week here you know.”

“Not exactly a thank you, but I’ll take it.”

At the end of this particular row there was an Asari shop, Whispers of Thessia. Robert stopped, shaking his head at the display. The entrance was wide with no door. Instead there were two displays in the windows. On one side of the opening was a row of mannequins wearing various Asari evening wear: dresses, skirts, and gowns. On the other side, were more wearing articles that would cause even the most depraved individual to blush. _I am not going in there._ “Steve, I’ll wait out here.”

“I might be awhile. She was pretty specific.”

“Alright, I’ll be around.”

Robert walked over to one of the freestanding kiosks. It was a gaming corner, and the Salarian attendant was hawking the new _Galaxy of Fantasy_ expansion. Despite his stoic reputation, he actually did enjoy the occasional strategy game. He would never keep it for long, always binging on a session for days then hurriedly deleting the file so as not to become permanently unproductive. He browsed the wares for a bit, and then headed back to Whispers.

Outside of the store were a couple of benches, and Robert sat down, seeing as Steve was obviously in no hurry to leave. He pulled up his omni-tool, and reviewed the pings he’d been receiving all day. He had no idea who they were coming from as there was no name and actually, there were no messages. It was odd, and not to mention a little disconcerting.

“Mind if I sit here?” a deep voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned to see a rather attractive man standing next to him. His skin was dark, and he was wearing a black skin tight shirt and white pants. Robert flushed as he realized the other man probably assumed he was checking him out, which to be perfectly honest, he was. Sensing that the silence was about to move into the uncomfortable territory, he slid over and motioned for the other man to sit, “Sure.”

The other man joined him on the bench and turned to Robert. “I don’t come here very often. Do you know any good places to eat? I’m trying to take my girl out for our anniversary, and I want somewhere she would enjoy.”

“I don’t come here often myself actually. How long are you on leave?”

He laughed heartily; his body rippling with the motions and Robert was engrossed in the view. He could see the man’s abs pushing against the fabric…all eight of them. It wasn’t like Steve wasn’t in shape, but his form was more of a decathlete, even and toned all the way around (well except for Robert’s favorite part. That was _very_ well developed). He cleared his throat and looked up to see the man studying him. A beat passed and he finally answered, “I’m not in the Alliance; at least not anymore.”

Robert chuckled, accepting that he had been caught shamelessly staring again, “Oh, well you still have that soldier bearing. What do you do now?”

“I work security for a private organization.” The tone in his voice let Robert know that that was all the information he was getting. Brandishing a dazzling smile, he asked Robert who he was waiting on. When he replied that his husband was in Whispers, the man laughed again, though was more careful this time about monitoring his movements. “Hey I’m not judging you. I just didn’t think they made anything for men in that store.”

“They don’t. He’s in there for a friend.” The other man gave him a look that barely hid his disbelief, so Robert decided to change the subject. During their brief conversation, he had seen the implant on the man’s neck, and judging by his military training, figured him to be somewhat proficient with his biotics. “So you ever play biotiball?

“Nah, but I watch the matches when I can. Who’s your team?”

They started in on the merits of the game, whether the new rule about Pulling defenders was a good change or not and their favorite human and nonhuman teams. They were so engrossed in the conversation that neither heard the footsteps of their partners as they drew near. It wasn’t until Robert felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder that he looked up, and saw _her_. He didn’t fully recognize her at first, only getting a vague sense of dread at her presence.

 _“What’s going on? Why are his levels rising? The experiment isn’t completed yet!” Robert was in agony, it felt like his head was splitting open and someone was trying to force their way through his implant. He felt the prick of a needle as it slid into the port, and suddenly the rush of… something flooded the entrance. Warm and prickly,_ Like when your foot falls asleep _, he thought as the liquid slid through his neck and though he couldn’t actually feel it, he had the odd sensation that this was interacting, no that was the wrong word, interfacing, directly into his brain possibly? Slowly darkness descended on him and he felt his body begin to move under its own control. He also felt like he wasn’t alone, which was true, there were others in the room, but there was someone or something else here…_

“So, I see you’ve made a new friend,” she said, her foreign sound triggering the deep rooted fear. It pitched in his chest, and then slowly crept through his veins, the anxiety icing his blood. When she finally turned to him and he saw her face, it took everything he had to not snap then and there. Her frigid eyes were just the same as he remembered them, an aloof, flat greyish blue, the complete opposite of the vibrant and fiery azure of Steve ‘s gems. He ducked his head and averted his gaze, the frozen terror quickly transforming into a boiling rage. He breathed deeply, trying to quell the rising inferno, praying that he wouldn’t spark a confrontation; especially with Steve here as he had never seen him lose control and he really didn’t want to scare him away or worse, hurt the man he loved more than anything. Hopefully she wouldn’t recognize him, and they could all walk away in one piece.

 

* * *

 

Steve was caught in a conundrum. Durand wanted the Lisatria line of lingerie, but all they carried was Nyxrius and to be honest, as much as he enjoyed shopping for Robert (and himself, but mostly for Robert), he had no idea what the differences in women’s underwear were. He needed help, so he searched around and found the most beautiful woman in the store. She was a brunette, wearing a long, white dress that caressed and emphasized her curves, accented with black stones around her neck and wrist. She moved with a grace that he knew was learned to entice one to want to get closer. Steve chuckled, wondering how many men and or women had been seduced by her spell.

“Excuse me. I was hoping you would be able to help me with something.” He approached her slowly, aware that she was expecting him to fall under her charm.

All he got in response was a half turn in his direction as she brushed her hair from her eyes. Her face was strong, but still soft. When her eyes met his however, he saw a spark of mischief.

“You’ll have to forgive me, I don’t work here.” _WOW! That accent is…wow!_

He cleared his throat, and remarked, “I figured. That’s why you’re perfect-” he grinned as she cocked her head and stepped to the side, exaggerating her hip movement as she did so. He continued, “My husband is waiting for me outside, so I need to finish this quickly.” This time he smirked as he saw her mask slip just a little, surprise fleeting across her face. She recovered quickly though.

“So, it is true what they say about all the good men being taken or…”

“I guess so, but where does that leave yours?”

“And what makes you think I have one?”

Steve crossed the aisle and stood to just in the view of the storefront windows. He gestured to Robert and the dark skinned (and _very attractive_ ) man who were sitting on the bench outside. “I saw him when I first walked in. Nothing screams couple more than matching outfits. Now, back to my question…”

“Oh you are good. What do you need?”

He explained the situation and she indeed was a great help. They walked out the store together, and approached their respective men. The two were in a heated discussion about their favorite biotiball teams, and were completely oblivious to the advancing pair. Steve reached out and put his hand on Robert’s shoulder to get his attention at the same time the woman spoke to her man.

“So, I see you’ve made a new friend.”

He just so happened to still be looking at Robert and that was the only reason he noticed the sudden shift in his husband’s demeanor. Robert had gone from relaxed and friendly, to…for lack of better words, a scared animal. He looked away, and shifted uncomfortably, and through the fabric of his shirt, Steve could feel his temperature rising and his pulse racing. He glanced at the woman (he really should have asked her name by now, Dorolina would be heartbroken over his lack of etiquette), and noticed she had a perplexed look on her face as well. Steve and the other man looked at each other and then back at their partners.

“Do you two know each other?” he ventured, gently squeezing Robert’s shoulder. _Something’s not right here._ Robert moved again (away from her Steve noticed), as if to hide behind him and Steve took a step in her direction, an unconscious effort to protect him.

“I was one of the doctors that attended to him after the incident on Akuze,” she revealed. Steve didn’t buy it, at least not fully, the way Robert was steadily _not_ speaking to her and constantly shifting behind him, had him feeling a bit uneasy. She continued however, “Unfortunately, we never really spoke during the process as he was unconscious most of the time. He may have consolidated his memories of me with the trauma of the incident itself, thus leading to…” she gestured toward Robert and again Steve felt him flinch. The other man looked at her quizzically, and Steve noticed the slight nod she gave and the _oh_ he mouthed silently.

“No hard feelings though. It’s completely understandable that he would react this way from something he barely _escaped_. It would have _killed_ me to go through what you went through, but trust me when I say this: you are completely _safe_ , Mr. Toombs-” Her emphasis on those words seemed…odd.

“Cortez.” Everyone was looking at the man with the red eyes on the verge of tears, “its Mr. Cortez now.” Steve swallowed with shock. Officially, their names were still separate, they hadn’t even bothered to change them as they were in such a hurry, nor had the subject even come up. And though he couldn’t say he necessarily _liked_ the sound of Steven Toombs, he was more than a little surprised at Robert’s sudden decision to take his name as his own.

“Of course.” She looked at Steve again, this time with a softer expression.  “I’m glad he’s recovering so well. You’ll look after him won’t you?” She turned to her companion, taking his hand in her own, “now let’s go. I hope you’ve decided on someplace nice to eat. I’m famished.” The duo said their goodbyes and disappeared down the hallway, leaving Steve with an emotional wreck of a man. Robert whimpered and Steve sat next to him grabbing his hand and stroking it reassuringly, watching with unease as Robert trembled next to him and stared off into the distance. After a while Robert faced him, and with his voice barely audible and his red eyes dull with exhaustion, asked if they could go back to the room.

Steve pulled him close, whispering into his ear, “Of course we can.”

That night, the nightmares returned. This time, they were worse than normal and Steve woke up on the floor, with the bedroom lamp twisted in a heap next to him and an ache in his ribs. Quickly he jumped up, wincing from the sudden motion and flood of pain. He looked for Robert, who was no longer in the bed. He found him in the corner of the room, on the wall opposite the large window with his legs pulled to his chest and arms wrapped around them. He was encased in a biotic field and was rocking back and forth, his head bumping the wall in an eerie 1, 1-2 rhythm; his eyes fearful and unfocused, again staring into space.

“Robert…It’s me. It’s Steve. Are you ok?” Steve’s heart was racing. What do you do with a sleepwalking biotic who’s having a waking nightmare? He crept towards him, keeping his movements soft and slow all while muttering whatever consoling words he could think of. So far, Robert hadn’t moved, but Steve didn’t know if that was because he trusted him, or didn’t recognize that he was there. Finally, he reached him and sat in front of him, crossing his legs and putting his hands in his lap. He stayed like that, listening to the thud of Robert’s head on the wall, watching as his lips quivered while no words came out. It became too much, and he extended his arm and lightly touched Robert’s cheek.

 It was the wrong move to make.

Robert’s gaze snapped to Steve and he howled, triggering the detonation of his Barrier and Steve was lifted helplessly into the air. Robert jumped to his feet, pure fury in his eyes and for the first time, Steve was absolutely terrified of the man. He saw a fist enveloped in blue light pull back and before he knew it, the explosion flung him through the air and he careened into the wall, crying out as more pain shot through his already injured torso. His only saving grace, he figured, was the fact that Robert still mostly unconscious and thus was nowhere near his full power. Gasping and coughing, he lied on the floor, desperately trying to think of a way to wake his husband from whatever horror he was experiencing.

“I WILL DESTROY YOU!” Robert roared stalking toward Steve. “You’ll never touch me again. I will make you pay for everything you’ve done to me!” The room was now inundated with the blue light from Robert’s aura and Steve’s head was now pounding with his heartbeat, his fear totally possessing his mind now.  _Oh God! What is going on?!?! What’s he talking about?_ He squeezed his eyes shut, again attempting to come up with some way to stop the onslaught.

“Robert!” he begged, tears rolling down his cheeks as he was now tingling himself. He was being lifted off the ground. _How could he do this? He said that biotics without amps weren’t able to-OH NO!_ He panicked as he remembered that Robert had fallen asleep after trying out his new amp that Steve had bought earlier. It wasn’t a military grade, but Robert had told him before that he felt naked without one in, so Steve bought him one that he hoped was just strong enough to make him feel comfortable.

He opened his eyes, to see Robert just a breath away. There was nothing remotely recognizable in the red orbs that he had come to love. Instead, they were blank, mechanical, and Steve couldn’t bear to look at them any longer. He twisted, struggling against the dark energy holding him weightlessly against the wall. Again Robert readied his fist, and at this range, a blow like that would likely kill them both. Steve closed his eyes and did the only thing he could think of. Bracing himself against the wall and forcing every ounce of his strength into the effort, he pushed off, launching himself forward and pressing his lips to his lover’s.

He had never kissed anyone so frantically before. He licked his tongue around the seal, nibbled on Robert’s bottom lip, and forced everything he had into their meeting. He wrapped his arms and legs around him, feeling him tense up from the touch. _Please Robert, come back to me!_ He knew that if this failed-His thought was interrupted by the feeling of strong arms pulling him close, and a voice hitching in his throat. Only, it wasn't his voice.

“Steve…what’s going on? Why are you crying?” Robert pulled back from the kiss, confused, and walked them to the bed, wiping the tears from Steve’s cheeks. “FUCK!” he swore as he stepped on the lamp. “What happened?” he dropped Steve on the bed and rushed to him when he cried out holding his ribs. “What…what did I do?” Revulsion was creeping into his voice and he backed away slowly, hand over his mouth, choking on his words… “Oh fuck, I hurt you, didn't I…”

“Robert, stop. Come here.” Steve was wheezing, his lungs barely pulling in enough air to breathe through the pain. He reached out to his husband, who was now at the door looking like he was ready to bolt. “I said come here. For better or for worse, right?” Robert took a tentative step forward, still straining against his horror at what he had done. Steve continued, “It wasn't your fault, you were having a nightmare, and I suspect it has to do with that woman we met earlier. I love you Robert, but I think it’s time you were honest with me. There’s six years missing after Akuze, what happened to you?”

He sighed, finally having said what he had been holding in for far too long. If they were going to be married, he wanted to do it right. No more secrets; which meant that he needed Robert to trust him as much as he trusted Robert. Slowly, Robert crossed the room and sat on the bed, at the very end, out of Steve’s reach. Frustrated, he lunged once more and again hissed against the ache. He was pretty sure that at least some of his ribs were cracked, if not absolutely broken. Robert moved closer, leaning into him and burying his head into his neck.

“I’m so sorry Steve, I never wanted to hurt you, this is all my fault! I understand if you can never forgive me. If you want I can-” his voiced cracked and gave way to tears. After a few minutes he stopped, and scrubbed his face with his hands. “We should take you to a med center, get you looked at. I’ll go to C-Sec and-”

“No. We’re staying here. Even if my ribs are cracked, there’s not much they can do for me besides manage the pain. I can deal with it.” He leaned back, resting his head on Robert’s chest. “Now tell me everything.”

“Why do you put up with me? You see what I’ve done, what I can do. Am I worth the risk? Do I mean that much to you?”

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one with a checkered past. And it’s a little too late to ask now, isn’t it?”

Muffling a sound of surprise, he replied, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.” He bent low and kissed Steve’s forehead. Taking a deep breath, he began his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want to read some of Robert's back story/escape from Cerberus or should it be relegated to fan-canon? If you want to read it, I'll write it, otherwise, we shall continue on!


	9. Inconclusive Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

“Are you really calling bullshit on me?”

“Yea. I am,” Steve’s eyes were narrowed, mockingly instead of angrily, and his arms were folded across his chest. He was sitting upright against the headboard and wheezing from the pain in his ribs. He knew better than to say anything about it, because after the last time he tried, Robert nearly broke down in tears and carried him off to the emergency room. Shaking his head, Steve continued, “There is no way you survived Akuze, served with Commander Shepard _and_ had a fling with him. I’m just not buying it.”

Robert laughed in response, “I only said we had an intense physical relationship. I never said it was sexual.”

“How can it be intense and physical but not sexual, especially when you told me you were attracted to each other?”

Robert sighed, and Steve knew he was in for a doozy of an explanation. “Yea we were, but we also didn’t want to break regulations. He was my ranking officer, so we found…other ways to release tension.” Steve’s eyebrow rose and Robert pointed to his scars.  “Let’s just say, not all of these came from the battlefield.”

“Bull...”

“Believe what you want, but I’ll tell you this: I may have power and recovery, but Shepard has…power too. And stamina, lots and lots of stamina…” The wistful look in his eyes caused Steve to have a bout with the green eyed monster inside him and he attempted to force a cough, though only flinching instead, having decided to change the subject.

“Alright fine, so Shepard was awesome in the ring as well as on the field. But so far, you’ve only told me about getting to Akuze, I asked you about what happened _after_. Who was that woman?”

At this, Robert tuned his gaze away and scooted across the bed, away from Steve. He stayed that way, his head downcast for a bit and then answered, “Steve. I love you, and I know you’re worried, and scared,” the _of me_ part of the sentence thundered through the silence, and Steve saw hurt in Robert’s eyes when he realized it, “but…you don’t know what you’re asking to hear. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it, not fully anyway and I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t know what else to say. If that means we’re done, then I understand. You can’t keep putting blind faith in me forever.”

Steve groaned as Robert was always so willing to jump to the worst case scenario. “No. You’re stuck with me, _Mr. Cortez_. As much as it pains me-” Robert’s wince made Steve chuckle and then he winced from the pain and knew that Robert’s set jaw was suppressing a revenge smirk. “I’m sure I can wait until you’re ready to tell me. But, you’re going to do it before the trial right? I really don’t want the first time I hear of my husband’s traumatic past to be on live extranet proceedings.”

“Of course.” Robert yawned and Steve then realized just how drained both of them must be from the whole ordeal. _Is this what my life is going to be like? Almost like flying fighters._ The thought of his old Trident brought a smile to his face and he repositioned himself in the bed to get comfortable. “Where are you going?” he asked when Robert got up.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I’ve done enough damage for one night. And we’re going to the medical clinic first thing in the morning.” Steve knew that tone; there was no use arguing, no amount of witty comebacks or emotional pleas were going to change Robert’s mind. He was a stubborn man like that.

“Good night Robert. I love you. “

“I love you too. And…I’m sorry.” When he walked out the room and closed the door, Steve felt the darkness press closer than it had since he was a child. _The bed is too big,_ was his final thought before drifting off into sleep.

The next morning, Steve sat in the stark room of the medical center. His legs dangled over the examination table and he kicked nervously as he waited for the doctor to finish reviewing her notes. Robert sat in a chair on the opposite wall, hands wringing and his face to the floor. He was trying to hide them, but Steve could see the dark rings that circled his eyes and the puffiness that lingered from the night before. The silence in the room was just a continuation from when they had woken up earlier.

“Well, Mr. Cortez, I have some good news for you,” the doctor finally looked up, with a curt smile and a thick French accent. “It seems you only have bruised your ribs. There’s no major damage that I can see.” Steve breathed a sigh of relief, mostly possible due to the pain medication she had given him. “However,” she continued, brushing her red hair out of her eyes and leveling a stern gaze at Robert, “I must ask you again, how did you receive your injury?” From the corner of his eye, Steve saw Robert shift uncomfortably.

“It was an accident.”

“I didn’t ask you _Commander_ ,” Steve could feel the tension as she stressed his husband’s rank. No doubt she thought she knew what had been going on, and Steve needed to intervene before it got _that_ far.

“It really was though,” he offered, smiling as warmly as he could.

“Perhaps it would be best if you left the room.” Again, her gaze on Robert was unsympathetic, “there really are proper procedures we need to follow. There will be some forms you need to fill out. My assistant will be able to provide you with them.” She whipped her attention back to Steve, and Robert shuffled out of the room. “Now Mr. Cortez, please tell me honestly how you received your injuries.”

“He was having a nightmare and sleepwalking at the same time. When I touched him, I guess he thought I was part of his dream and defended himself.” She clicked some more notes into her datapad.

“I see. Does this happen often?”

“The nightmares? Every so often, but not all the time But he’s never sleepwalked before. Is he going to be ok?” He asked, his impatience getting the best of him as he saw her making more notations.

“Right now, I’m more worried about your well-being, Mr. Cortez.” 

* * *

 

Robert entered the waiting area, his feet heavy with exhaustion. He had gone to the couch the night before, but definitely didn’t sleep. He had sat in the dark listening to Steve’s shallow breaths and inwardly cringed every time he heard him cough.  After stowing his new amp back in the case, he resolved to never wear one again if he wasn’t on patrol on in combat. This morning, he woke up, made some coffee and waited on the couch. Steve ambled out of the room not too much later, fully dressed and they departed for the clinic.

Throughout the appointment, he could feel the scathing looks the doctor was giving him, and while at first he tried to plead his case, they slowly wore him down, boring into him and the only thing he could think about was how, yet again, he’s been marked because of something out of his control. He couldn’t meet her eyes, but neither could he meet Steve’s. He saw Steve check the amp case before they left the room and also noticed the small void between them on the way to the clinic.

Now, in the lobby, Robert slumped into one of the uncomfortable waiting chairs aligned on the wall and picked up one of the public datapads. As he scrolled through the articles, he heard heavy boots approaching. They stopped beside him and he looked up, seeing a young man in a C-Sec uniform with a full face and cropped blond hair.

“Commander Toombs? I’m Officer Eddie Lang. I’m here on behalf of Admiral Anderson. He would like you to report to his office.” Robert knew that a potential domestic abuse case was worth at least a preliminary investigation, but he was surprised that even with his history and previous record, this was already on the desk of one of the most decorated men in the Alliance. He sighed and rose slowly to his feet, catching the recoil of the other man as he noticed Robert’s eyes. He decided against leaving Steve a message on where he was headed, _Maybe some space is exactly what we need right now_.

The walk to the transport was painfully slow, and all the while Robert wallowed in his own thoughts. Things had been going so _right_. He had tried so hard to be the person that Steve told him he was. First BAat, then Akuze, then Cerberus, and now this. Why couldn’t he have a normal life like everyone else? Even though he knew the other man was dead, he couldn’t stop the thought from blazing through his mind: _Why couldn’t I have Shepard’s life_? He could have gotten away, could have been the one to be free, what possessed him to save the other man instead of himself? If he had, would he have been made a Spectre or remembered as the human who saved the Council?

 _Of course not._ The conclusion was an angry resolution, having pondered the variances between them so many times before; events that dictated their place in two very separate, but not equal universes. Shepard born a spacer; destined to forever be among the stars, always out of Robert’s reach since the day they came into existence. He had parents, who protected him, shielded him from the terrors of his new abilities, instead of a rabble of thugs, calling themselves a family, who only kept him around, pumping him full of Red Sand, so long as his abilities were useful. Robert had seen the biographies, the images of young Shepard, always handsome, always with that cocky, half smirk on his face and no trace of pain whatsoever in his eyes; his natural, icy blue eyes. They were the eyes of a hero, eyes that either inspired trust in all those who were blessed enough to be the subject of their focus, or fear when their gaze was leveled with vengeance. Either way, people respected those eyes.

Robert knew what his parents looked like, and not much else. And in all honesty thought he had gotten over that particular point in his past. _Hard to miss someone you never knew._ Growing up of course, as he stole down the street under the cloak of darkness with crumbs trailing from his fingertips, numb from whatever task he had to perform in order to eat, he did wonder what parents were like. He knew what _adults_ were like. They were mean and scary and sometimes, rough; but _parents_ were kind, and gave their children blankets without needing anything in return. And he would see parents picking their children up, talking to them, and answering their questions.

There was only ever one question he wanted to ask. One that burned in his mind since the first time he was told that they were scary. _Why did you give me these eyes?_ Another way he stood out anywhere he went. Not his red hair, because that was natural, but his _eyes_ terrified people, and not in the good way. Not the Shepard way.

By the time they reached the embassy offices, Robert was a walking tempest. Luckily without an amp plugged in at the moment, there was no manifestation of the dark energy that he felt was surging through him. Whatever Anderson had to say now, whatever punishment he could mete out, Robert wasn’t going to have it. It would be career suicide, but he knew he wouldn’t willingly hurt a hair on Steve’s head, and if he had to lose his commission in order to defend his innocence, then it was worth it. Transferring for the Alliance, even laying down his life for the mission was one thing, but he would never allow them to take his integrity. They owed him that much at least.

“We’re here.” The young officer’s voice brought him out of his contemplation and he looked at the door in front of him. Officer Lang gave him a half-hearted smile, refusing to meet his gaze, and then hurriedly strode away. The door whooshed open as Robert stepped forward.

“Ah, Commander Toombs, I’ve been expecting you.” Anderson’s deep voice rumbled through the air, “Come in.” He gestured to a chair, and Robert entered and sat; realizing with only slight indignation that he had forgotten to salute. Apparently Anderson didn’t care as he stood, his back facing Robert, and looked out of the window over the Presidium commons. “We have much to discuss.”

Robert rose in his chair, back straight, and eyes focused on the man in front of him. He tensed when Anderson turned around, with a datapad in hand and sat down. As his bulk settled into the chair, he looked up with a scowl on his face, “Commander Toombs, due to the unfortunate set of circumstances surrounding us today, I am tasked with formally discharging you from the Alliance military. If you’ll read this and sign the bottom, we can proceed.” He slid the device to Robert, who picked it up, his eyes blazing with fury. When he looked at the words though, he choked on his anger.

“What is this?” he asked looking up with disbelief.

 


	10. Partners in Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets some answers and Robert gets what's coming to him

It was another half hour before Steve was finally released and he had used all of his patience and then some to sit through the remainder of the doctor’s questions. Some of them were basic things he should have known; things like: “What implant is your husband using?”, or “Where did he get his biotic training?” He had been in on a few of Robert’s appointments with Dr. Suresh, but for the life of him couldn’t remember anything specific.

He kicked himself for not paying enough attention back then; the looks this doctor was giving him had him feeling as if he failed some sort of test. And why shouldn’t he feel this way? They’ve known each other going on three years now.

Steve huffed as he walked out of the examination rooms and down the corridor to the waiting area. At least Robert would be there and they would have the rest of the day to do vacation things. Spending all morning in the hospital was not his idea of fun and if there was one thing he knew about his husband, it was how so very little he liked doctors as well.

When he got to the waiting room, he was surprised to find it empty except for the two receptionists and one very sick looking Krogan. _Where did Robert go,_ he thought. It wasn’t as if they had urgent plans or anything, so he should be here. He brought his hand up to check his omni-tool and saw there were no recent messages. The two receptionists at the desk abruptly halted their conversation as he cleared his throat for their attention.

“Excuse me. There was a man in here earlier; would you happen to know where he went?”

The Asari turned to him, her pink tattoos almost melding with her purple skin, “I’m sorry sir, we see many clients, you’re going to have to be more specific.”

He knew she was having a dig at him. It was too early in the morning for there to have been too many other patients and honestly, he hadn’t seen or heard a single other doctor or nurse since he walked in. Nevertheless, he was in no mood to argue. “He was human, taller than me, red hair,” he offered, rubbing his ear. It was something he had discovered calmed him down, akin to the light head rubbing that Robert would give him when he was stressed from work.

“No,” she smiled, not a friendly one, “I don’t remember seeing anyone like that at all. Do you Chorban?”

The Salarian rose from under the desk, where he had been fiddling with something or other. Steve couldn’t tell what, but it seemed to be a scanner of some sort. He turned to the Asari, then back to Steve, his large amphibious eyes blinking rapidly. Obviously, something must have happened, because Robert wouldn’t leave without at least sending him a message. It was a quirk of his, to constantly have to let Steve know where he was going, and though he never demanded it in return, Steve had gotten used to doing the same thing.

After witnessing a silent monologue, he turned to leave; clearly these two weren’t going to help.

“Wait,” the Chorban’s timid voice broke the silence. “Your human friend was here.”

There was no use in correcting him about being Robert’s _husband_ , as Steve just wanted to know where the man went. Although that didn’t mean that he wasn’t getting frustrated anyway. This was his honeymoon for all intents and purposes, and here he was on only the second day; visiting the doctor because some woman brought back his husband’s nightmares and he was caught in the explosion; waiting for a jumpy secretary at a medical clinic to let him know where said husband (who is so in trouble when he finds him) has run off to. He rubbed his temple. Not even Vega gave him this kind of headache.

“Where did he go?” This was worse than pulling the power cells from the carcass of a downed Mako…or teeth, but he’d never pulled teeth before.

“Chorban!” the Asari hissed, her head whipping around to her associate.

Chorban waved her off and continued, “He was sitting here and then a C-Sec officer came and they left together. I don’t know where they went.”

_C-Sec?_ How is that possible? Steve hadn’t filed a report, and he was more than sure that Robert hadn’t either. Despite his penchant for martyrdom and his uncanny ability to always put other people first, he knew his husband loved his job and would never willingly do anything to jeopardize his hard fought career. “Thank you,” was all he said as he left the clinic. He had to get to C-Sec, there was no way he was going to let the man railroad himself out of his uniform.

_Why wouldn’t he leave me a message?_ He mulled over what the Salarian had said: the officer came and they left together…not that the officer came and arrested Robert. That had to mean something didn’t it? Because, going over the timeline in his mind there was simply no way for them to have found out so quickly. As little relief as this brought, however, there was another question that suddenly sprang in his mind: _How did they know where to find him?_

After some thought, he figured it didn’t really matter. They were security for the most important place in the galaxy; surely they could find a soldier on vacation. With that thought in mind, he hailed a skycar and took off for C-Sec.

“Welcome to Citadel Security, how can I help you today,” a bright voice greeted him as he entered the office. Steve glanced around, not seeing Robert in any of the visible chairs lining the walls and desks. Peering into the rooms wasn’t helpful as they were all sealed and the windows tinted. Turning back to the voice, he replied, “Uh…yes. I’m looking for my husband. We were in a medical clinic in Zakera Ward. I was told an officer asked him to go with him, and I just wanted to know what’s going on.”

The Turian looked at him, her eyes squinting and mandibles clenched. “Ok sir. I’ll try to locate him.” She studied him more, looking him up and down as he turned his eyes away, “Have we met before?”

He tried to avoid her gaze because they had in fact met before. She was the officer that took him home when he was stumbling all over the floor and spilling his tequila and tears on the bar in Chora’s Den. That was a terrible night; the night he found out his parents had died in a shuttle crash on their first off world trip to visit him at the Citadel for his birthday. The first thing he did after confirming their flight plan and tickets, was to cancel his reservations at the fancy Silversun Strip restaurant he was taking them to and grab some of his fighter jock buddies for a “few rounds on him”. From what little he could remember after that, she was _very_ forward with her interest and was just a little more than miffed when he voiced his rejection.

“I’m sure we haven’t.” He hoped the lie was enough to lose her interest.

“Oh. Alright,” her dual-tone voice carried a melody of disappointment. Apparently she did remember him. Hitting a few keys on her terminal, she brought up another Turian. “Uhm Chellick, sir? There is a human here who is inquiring about his husband’s whereabouts. He says that he was in the medical clinic in Zakera Ward and that an officer escorted him here.”

The male Turian on the other end sighed and Steve could see him opening a data-pad. “Officer Lang was in Zakera earlier. He should be somewhere around the office now. Will that be all?”

“Yes sir. Thank you.” The screen cut and she looked at Steve with questioning eyes. Her mandibles opened, but she caught herself and shook her head, “Please have a seat, I’ll contact Officer Lang and we’ll get this sorted out.”

He found a chair that was both out of the way, yet in the view of the front desk. It didn’t make any sense; what was Robert thinking? Sure they didn’t really speak this morning, but that was because Steve was exhausted, having really not gotten any sleep the night before because he was used to having the weight and warmth of another pressed against him. And he knew Robert saw him checking the case. When he turned to explain that he was doing to make sure Robert wasn’t going to return it, Robert had already left the room with the door whispering closed behind him.

Steve rested his face in his hands, the time ticking by ever so slowly. Eventually, weighted steps approached him and he looked up to see a thick face and short blonde hair and a hand extended towards him. “Hello, sir, I’m Officer Lang.”

Shaking his hand, Steve introduced himself and rephrased why he was there. When Lang told him that no, Robert wasn’t at the station, but was instead meeting with Anderson at the embassies, Steve didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more worried.

“Thank you,” was all he could force from his dry throat as he left the station. Meandering down the court, only halfway paying attention to where he was going, he cursed under his breath as the impact jarred him and he found himself pitching to the floor. The iron display sign for the Shepard VI was hot on his heels. Gawking and laughter ensued from the milling crowd as the display clattered around, the holographs flickering in and out with each hit.

“You look like you could use a hand.” Steve looked to where the slightly nasally voice was coming from. A dark haired man was crouched next to him, and Steve took his hand and was lifted with a rough pull that brought them chest to chest. He winced from the lingering pain and tried to pull away, but was held firm in his grip. “Well glad to see that your taste in men is consistent.”

_Consistent? He doesn’t even know me._ “Sorry, not interested,” he was rubbed his wrist when the stranger finally released him, “I’m married.”

The look on the man’s face was supposed to be smile, but in fact was an askew compression of his lips that resembled more of a snarling dog, than a flirtatious gentleman. Still it was charming enough in its own way and Steve reciprocated with a small grin of his own.  “Come on, one drink never ruined a marriage; I promise I don’t bite.” He winked, and cocked his head in a minor jerk. “Plus I’m sure you like your drinks like you like your men.”

Steve stepped back, his arms folded and eyes on this most unabashed suitor. “So tell me then, how _do_ I like them?”

“Red of course.” 

* * *

 

He didn’t understand what was going on. Robert looked from the datapad back to Anderson, his brain still lapped by the discord between what Anderson had told him, and the form he was handed. Eventually, his mouth stopped bobbing open and words tumbled out. “With all due respect sir, you said you were here to oversee my discharge-”

“That is correct.”

“But this is an active duty spousal benefit form. If I’m being discharged, why would I need this?”

Anderson sighed then chuckled as he leaned back in his chair, “You forgot to sign it when you applied for your marriage license.”

Heat rose from the base of his neck and Robert looked down at the form yet again, “Why am I being discharged? Admiral Hackett has just reassigned me to Ferris Fields.” So far there had been no indication that Anderson was aware of anything, and Robert knew there was nothing else recently added to his record that would have him sitting at the desk of the second most powerful human on the Citadel.

Before the Admiral could answer, however, the door hissed open and Robert’s eyes widened as the _most_ powerful human on the Citadel brusquely crossed the threshold, already in mid speech, “-lieve the nerve of Tevos! She should think before she tries to impede a vote with more discussion! That was clearly a stalling tactic and we lost the colony because of it!” Robert shifted uncomfortably as the door slid open again, and another admiral and a younger marine walked in as well.

If he was feeling uneasy before, the presence of everyone else didn’t help at all. He looked down, noticing his shaking hands and licked his lips, as his entire mouth had gone dry. This was certainly more than a simple discharge.

“Commander, I’m sure you recognize Councilor Udina. This is Admiral Mikhailovich, of the 63rd Scout Flotilla and Lieutenant Maria Topaz, of the Second Frontier Division, 232 Brigade. Now that everyone is here, we can officially get started.” Anderson rose, and brought up a projection of the galaxy in the middle of the room, “We have received reports of numerous colonists going missing. At first it was all species of biotics, but then narrowed down to solely humans. Now we fear something even worse is happening: another colony has been lost.” The projection rotated and zoomed, focusing in on the Terminus systems.

The image settled in on one of the worlds, the name and location blurred out for security reasons most likely.  The footage was grainy, and there was hardly any light, but from what little they could see, the colony was deserted completely. Not only that, but it was as if nothing was wrong. Dinners sat on tables uneaten, vidscreens were still running with the game that was on the night before last. There were no signs of battle; bullet holes, burn marks, or even blood. It was simply as if the people had gotten up and left.

An eerie silence spread over the room, each person in complete disbelief over what was being shown. The only person seemingly unaffected was Anderson himself, his eyes locked on the holo, scanning for any clue he might have missed. Robert shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His palms were starting to sweat and his heart started racing. He closed his eyes trying to calm his nerves.

_Robert opened his eyes, his anxiety ebbing. The turbulence as they approached the landing zone was intense, and as funny as watching his comrades’ heads shaking and bumping helmets was, his stomach was doing the same thing and wasn’t nearly as amused. As he surveyed his section, he could see he wasn’t the only one possibly about to revisit their lunch._

_He took a deep breath, willing the gorge in his throat to ease back down and addressed his team. “Alright, we’re going over the mission one more time. Two days ago, the whole of the colony of Akuze suddenly went dark. There has been no communication or traffic in either direction since then. Assume hostiles on world. We are to land and investigate the area. Our team, Gamma, is responsible for the communications arrays. We will accompany Lieutenant Shepard’s Alpha team and provide support while they perform a search of the central headquarters. Any questions?”_

_Sellers, a smart alec Private, spoke up. “Uh yea,_ Sir _, what exactly is your rank again?” This elicited a few snickers and Robert huffed while rolling his eyes. The young woman continued, more serious this time, “For real LT, why does Shepard call you Corporal?”_

_It was a good thing his helmet was hiding his face, because the blush that was now coloring his cheeks would have ignited many a rumor, some of them close to true and others…well one could only dream. There was no room in the shuttle for a tactical withdrawal, so Robert opted instead for the measure with the least casualties: a partial truth. “It’s an inside joke. I’ll tell you after the mission.”_

_This seemed to assuage the rampant curiosity for the time being and the rest of the flight was silent as everyone went over their equipment and armor one last time. Robert himself went through his mental drills, ensuring his biotics were attuned to his new amp. He had never used a Savant before and something told him that would be changing soon._

_After landing and going through a quick roll call with his troops, Robert led them to the rendezvous point with Alpha team. When he finally reached them, Shepard pulled him aside and Robert couldn’t help his breath hitching as the gaze of his fellow officer washed over him. They had already…not talked about what was brewing between them, and neither was willing to bend and make the first move. Even still, he wanted nothing more than to reach out to the other man, to give him a touch of reassurance._

_“Have you seen anything? Everywhere we’ve been there’s been nothing.”_

_“Yea, we’ve seen track marks. Footprints and vehicles. All heading in one direction. And there’s been some kind of skirmish on the other side. Bullet holes and blood over there, and then what looks like a shuttle dustoff. ”_

_“What do you think we should do? It’s dark out here and I’m not sure we’ll find anything more.”_

_“Let’s camp for the night. We can reach the towers in the morning. I’ll relay the message to Beta and Delta Squads…”_

“-viously not worth it. He’s not even paying attention!” Udina’s voice cut through the memory, dissipating the daydream and Robert was suddenly aware of four pairs of eyes staring at him. Mikhailovich gave him a worried look before shooting a sharp glance to the Councilor.

“He’s here because he may have valuable information we can use.” Udina looked positively ruffled at the statement, but nevertheless Mikhailovich moved on. “Commander, I know this might be painful, but does this resemble anything you saw on Akuze?” The images blew up, and were cleaned as much as possible.

“No sir. When we landed on Akuze, there were signs of a fight, leading to the center of the colony. I don’t see any of that here.  

“Well, that settles it then,” Anderson started, “we’re going to have to assemble a strike team. I’m sure it’s the Batarians retaliating for the failed attack on Terra Nova!” A thunder resounded through the room as his fist slammed on the table.

“Sir. If I may?” The lone female voice in the room spoke up, “We have no intelligence suggesting the Batarians are involved at all and evidence on the X57 incident indicates that the act was one of a lone terrorist, not condoned by the Hegemony.” She reached back and adjusted the chopsticks in her bun, a no-nonsense style that was holding her ebony tresses away from her face. Her eyes were a long almond shape and a brilliant green that complimented her olive skin tone. She was tall, easily Steve’s height and lean.

She crossed the room, her movement fluid, liquid grace and stood next to Robert. He was mesmerized, and his mind wandered trying to picture her role in combat. “This makes the fourth to go dark if I’m correct. Admiral, I think until we find out who’s responsible, our first priority should be defense.”

Anderson nodded and Mikhailovich spoke next, “That was the plan. We were going to assemble an elite team and station them at one of the colonies in the Terminus. Once the phenomenon occurs, hopefully we’ll be able to at least gather some intel.” He reached into his bag and handed Robert a datapad. Robert scrolled through the information, instantly recognizing it as a dossier.

“Who are these people?” He couldn’t help but be impressed with the list of about twenty gathered before him. Many of the names had multiple commendations and remarkable service history. A pang of jealousy struck him; he would trade his experiences for any one of these he was holding. It would be an honor to serve with any number of these men and women.

“They are the candidates for your team. Assuming…other things fall into place.”

_My team?_ This was going way over his head now. He understood them bringing them here to discuss the similarities between here and Akuze, but handing him a team? “Sir. I really don’t understand. I thought I was being discharged?”

“You are, just not in the way you imagine-” Anderson began.

Udina, seemingly tired of not hearing his own voice interrupted, “We don’t have time for this! Explain the situation and get on it. I have to have something to present to the Parliament by the next session.”

“Then Councilor, I suggest you leave. The less you hear the better for all.” Robert saw the tug of a smirk at the corners of Anderson’s mouth while Udina was practically spewing venom with his. Regaining his frothy composure, he left the room, tersely muttering the entire time.

Mikhailovich turned to Robert, “All the marines in that list are going to ICT. Of those that make the N7 rank and are exemplary, one from each vocation will be chosen to partake in even more specialized training similar to your Slayer designation.”

Anderson shifted the map and then another planet coalesced into view. “This is the Batarian world Lorek.” A grainy satellite image popped in. “They claim this is a colony. And for the most part it is, but we do know that there is a labor camp down there and one of those “workers” is on the list; a human biotic named Susan Rizzi.” He cleared his throat and turned to Robert, letting his next words hang in the air, “She too has a history with Cerberus.”

Mikhailovich explained, “To make the force complete, you need her on your squad. However, having an Alliance ship fly in for the rescue would spark a conflict not only with the Batarians, but possibly the entirety of the Terminus fleets as well.”

Finally the pieces came together and Robert nearly passed out from relief. His breath whistled as it escaped his lungs and he had to catch himself on the desk in front of him. It also explained the question of why this Lt. Topaz was sitting in the meeting. “You’re N7 as well?”

“No, not yet. Leading this mission is to be my last test for the program.”

Nodding his head he looked at the two admirals, his heart thumping in his chest, yet his mind perfectly at ease. Another mission, a _true_ mission. Grinning ear to ear, he stood and moved to the map, “What’s the plan?” 

* * *

 

Steve had to admit that Finch wasn’t actually so bad. After some light haranguing, he finally gave in to having a drink with him. Robert hadn’t contacted him, and he had nothing else to do for the moment, so they ended up at Darkstar Lounge during the midday happy hour special.

“So how well did you know him?” he asked, after Finch mentioned that he and Robert were in the Reds together.

Finch squinted, and then smirked as he sipped on his beer. He pointed at the scars that cut across his lips, “Let’s just say he broke my nose the last time.” His expression fell and Steve saw the flash of pain that passed over him before he continued, “Is he sleeping any better these days?”

How did he know about the nightmares? Had Robert gone back to Earth after Akuze? Is that part of his six year gap; running back to a street gang? If so, the Alliance was being more than generous in taking him back, considering what the Reds had been up to recently.

Steve almost blurted out something about Akuze, but stopped, remembering the night that Robert had finally told him, and last night as well. Robert had never spoken to anyone about it, so what in the world was Finch referring to?

“He has some bad nights, but he won’t tell me what they’re about. Do you know?” Surely, if this man knew Robert as well as Steve thought he did, Robert would have told him something.

Again Finch regarded him carefully before answering, “He’s had it rough you know. And none of it, well most of it, anyway is his fault.” He took another swig, and contemplated the bottle for a second before shrugging his shoulders and continuing. “We grew up together on the streets, before the Reds. He was always getting hurt and breaking things. It wasn’t until we saw a piece on biotics on the extranet that I put it together. By that point we were already in.”

“So the nightmares started from life in the gang?” Growing up in Sao Paulo, he knew secondhand how brutal gang life could be, but Steve didn’t think it could have been that bad…Luckily Finch saw his disbelief and resumed.

“It wasn’t the gang that brought the nightmares,” more pain, deeper than the last bit. “It was me. They’re my fault.”

Steve’s mouth dropped. What in the world could have happened between them that would cause nightmares back then? He reached for his drink and took a quick sip, using any kind of movement to avoid the awkward silence that was looming over them.

“What happened?” his voice was so low, he was sure Finch didn’t hear him over the din of the patrons.

“I couldn’t wait. The boss wanted to use him to intimidate people, you know, throw things around like we saw on the sites, and since he was mine, err, my…I was with him…” Steve watched as the hard, worldly gangster fumbled over his feelings for his husband, pity and jealousy dancing at the effort. “There was a doc on hand who could give him an implant, but the price of an L3 was too much, so I settled and forced Rocket into an L2.”

_Rocket?_ The rest of the terminology wasn’t familiar to Steve, but he gathered that this was important and that an L3 was somehow better than an L2; definitely something to ask Robert about later.

“Not only was the implant wrong, but the doc screwed up. Didn’t connect it right or something. It wasn’t until he came back from Brain Camp that we found out how bad it had been. He’s lucky he’s not a vegetable, and it’s all because I saw the opportunity to move up and I…threw him away for that chance. Can’t say I blamed him for never looking back.”  

They sat in silence for a bit, Finch ordering his third bottle and Steve took water instead. Eventually, Finch looked up, “So, how did you meet Rocket?”

“I was working maintenance on an old Grizzly the colony wanted to use. Some of the guys were playing a game of biotiball and you know how guys get: first it’s words; then it’s fists. Robert cleaned up on one of the biggest guys there. He took a few hits, but he made it look too damn easy.”

Finch laughed, then pulled a deep swig of his drink, “Just like I remember the ol’ Red Rocket: he’s as likely to fuck you up as just plain ol’ fuck you.” They spent more time exchanging their favorite stories about Robert, Steve enjoying Finch’s retelling of the time Robert accidentally turned a steak into a biotic bomb, and Finch absolutely losing it when Steve told him how he caught Robert shrieking and Charging all over the house away from a spider. Eventually, he got up to leave when Finch grabbed his arm, “Just something I learned from experience; explosions help the nightmares go away.” With that he sat back down, and tapped on his omni-tool. “You should head to the Embassy. And tell him,,,I,,,nevermind.” Patting him on the shoulder, Steve left to go meet the Red Rocket. 

* * *

 

“DOWN!”

Steve hardly had time to hit the ground when a bullet whizzed by, slamming into the Geth Pyro bearing down on him. Recovering quickly, it continued its advance along with a cloaked Hunter. Steve sent out an area Overload rolled to his right as a blue streak screamed past. The impact from Robert’s Charge set off a massive Tech Burst; the energy feeding off of Steve’s Overload and crackling in a sphere of electricity that danced around, arcing and catching more of the synthetics in its wake. Three more Trooper units fell as the energy completely obliterated their circuits.

It was the day before their honeymoon was over, and Steve was determined to end it with a bang. After talking with Finch, he was reassured that his surprise for Robert was perfect: A full day pass at the Armax Arsenal Arena. The trip was two-fold. The primary objective was to find Robert a different way to let off some steam and hopefully ease some of the nightmares away. He knew that after this though, he was in for a different type of contest as Robert hadn’t taken his eyes off of him from the moment he slid into his under-armor until the hard-light enemies started appearing on the field. 

The second objective was more practical. He was stress testing Robert’s new armor, looking for ways in which he could improve it. So far he noticed that the shield capacitors were always underclocking, meaning that Robert had to provide the extra protection with an unconscious barrier, and the stabilizers that were built in to moderate his positioning after a Charge would overcompensate every third one. True to some of the stories Finch had told him, however, Robert was adapting quickly, shunting the extra energy from a successful Charge back into his barrier and quickly using either a Nova or Phase Disrupter blast to drain energy from the stabilizers.

With those enemies taken care of, the next wave would start in about a minute, giving the contestants some time to catch their breath between rounds.

“Maybe you are as good as you think you are; that was one hell of a shot,” Steve quipped as he sauntered over, giving Robert a congratulatory slap on his ass, and silently thanking the maker of such a form fitting suit. Yea, there was going to be another round after this.

Robert didn’t say anything, but popped the spent thermal clip from his Mantis, the content grin that had been there since Steve brought out the passes growing even wider and Steve couldn’t help but chuckle at the childlike enthusiasm he had for blowing things up. It was incongruous, a sharpshooting Vanguard. Most were in-your-face, shotgun toting fanatics, or so he had heard. Then again, his only source was a six foot tall Latino mountain who was always on the front lines himself.

The next round got underway and the first units on the field were Bombers. They weren’t so much dangerous as they were annoying, with their cluster grenade drops and electrical stun-lock when they got close. Robert took the lead this time, running and gunning right into the middle of the swarm and Steve hung back behind cover, picking off the weak Troopers as they tried to flank him.

When the Bombers surrounded Robert, Steve opened the software on his omni-tool and did a quick rewrite of their IFF subroutine. Two of them sizzled, indicating his Sabotage was successful, but the third was out of range and was preparing its electric attack. Instead of trying to dodge, Robert instead whipped his body around, and licked his arm out, just like he did at the ceremony the week before. A wave of biotic energy rippled through the air and caught the floating robot, knocking it back and Steve took that moment to load a few rounds into it. With the shields dropped, Robert brought the sword down, slicing clean through it.

An explosion rocked the ground and Steve saw Robert blown across the platform they were standing on. Just as he turned to run to his side, he saw the Rocket Trooper leap from behind cover, sending another one his way. He rolled just in time and threw an Inferno grenade, muttering that he should have used Overload to fry the shields first. The resulting explosion was enough to stun the trooper, and Robert managed to recover within those few seconds. As soon as he was up, he Charged again, this time igniting a blazing detonation. Apparently the two of them worked well together.

There was no time for celebration however, as the final enemy made its presence known. Two small turrets fabricated into existence and Steve swallowed hard. He knew this was a simulation, and that there was no _actual_ chance of them dying, but still, when a Geth Prime walks onto the battlefield, things are about to get real. Robert must have read his mind because he shouted, “Last one! We got this!”

A Geth Prime was a tough one. They stood over three meters tall and were literally walking tanks. Along with their turrets, they had incredible firepower on their own and their Siege Pulse could lock you in their grasp until you fried. On top of that, they could deploy a standalone shield that could absorb massive amounts of damage itself.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

Steve leaned out from behind his cover, attempting to hack into the Prime. His aim was off, and instead, the combat drone next to it was hit. It wasn’t a huge loss, however, as it turned to face the nearest enemy. The Prime would make short work of the drone, but in the meantime, Robert and Steve could whittle away its defenses.

 True to form, Robert pulled out his Mantis and uploaded some armor piercing ammo. Steve was waiting on his omni-tool to reset so he could launch an Overload. The Prime finished off the turret and turned just as a load crack sliced the air. He heard the click of Robert reloading and Steve pulled out his Tempest and broke into a run, seeking cover as he strafed the lumbering synthetic. His goal was to put the Geth between them, making it have to choose its target.

He wasn’t as fast as he thought and fell forward when his shields went down under heavy fire. The Prime took a step forward, but another crack split the air, and it lurched off balance as its shield capacitors went out. Knowing that all that was left was the armor, Steve threw another Inferno grenade to burn it away and scrambled behind a pylon. He heard the telltale shriek of air being compressed and felt the resulting tremors from the aftershocks of his husband’s Charge. The Prime made some sort of static noise and he stood up, and was pulled into an eager kiss as the robot exploded behind them. As cheesy as it was, he couldn’t keep himself from laughing against Robert’s lips.

“So, how do you like the Red Rocket?” he was asked as Robert pulled away, with a hungry look in his eye.

“I’ll let you know after tonight.” Yep, there would be at least two more rounds later.


	11. For Auld Lang Syne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission to Lorek goes just about how you should expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know if I'll get the next one out this week as I'm on vacation visiting my RL Robert! ^(^_^ )^ but I'll do my best!

Robert wiped the water from his visor and turned off the auditory enhancers in his helmet wanting to mute the patter of the raindrops. Not that it helped a whole lot, but there really wasn’t much else he could do at the moment. Topaz was staring into the ground, still in disbelief over what had just happened and he couldn’t, well to be more accurate, _wouldn’t_ blame her, as they still had a job to do.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do for him now,” he offered as he put his hand on her shoulder.

 She nodded as she took a steadying breath, “I know Commander. I just…didn’t expect the Major to go out like that.” She hesitated, and continued, “And it’s my fault. I…” her voice trailed off as Robert stood next her. It was her first commanding mission and she already had gotten someone killed. There were no words anyone could say to make the situation better; and Robert knew firsthand what it was like to have your stomach drop and the world turn wishing the coin had tossed the other way.

It was a freak accident, that’s for sure, and he wondered at what cruel deity ran the universe to take both a father and a son in such similar manners. First it was Richard on the SSV Normandy’s shakedown run, and now his father Major Ronald L. Jenkins, on the second Normandy class frigate, the SSV Ain Jalut on _her_ shakedownrun. The labor camp had been located, but was heavily defended with AA guns, so the team had to drop in from a short distance away.

Lorek was tidally locked to its sun, causing massive storms to roll over the thin band of islands that made up the livable areas on the planet. When the shuttle entered the atmosphere, there were no signs of bad weather, but that changed in almost an instant and by the time the team was in position, there was a small thunderstorm swirling around them. Major Jenkins wanted to wait it out, but as Topaz was in charge of the mission for her N7 rank, it was her call and she chose to drop.

They dove out, Robert going last to possibly correct someone with his biotics if they flew off course. It was a solid plan that unfortunately did not work out at all.

The tempest whirled around him, and the wind battered him from all directions. He could feel the vibrations in his dropsuit from thunderclaps exploding. Fingers of blue painted the clouds and he felt a thrill that had eluded him for the past few years. Adrenaline surged through his veins as he plummeted at terminal velocity; a defiant yell tore through the air and he realized that it had come from him. For all the turbulence that was crashing around and against him, there was a sense of serenity as well. It was if _he_ were a bolt of lightning, carving his own place among the sky. The last time he felt this alive was when he exploded onto the transport that he thought was carrying Dr. Banes. Either then or sprinting to the escape pods as he blew it to hell on his way out.

 Jenkins however, was not as excited, his comm chatter a rapid string of curses and Robert was about to say something when- _CRACK!_ The sky went white and just like that the Major sparked and was blown completely out of his sight.

It had taken him about 5 minutes after he landed to shed his dropsuit and reach Topaz. Having jumped first, she was completely unaware of what had happened. Now they were standing on a grassy knoll on the top of a ridge about 5 kilometers from the camp. In the far distance behind them was the capital city, Jalnor; the lights from its towers piercing the dark horizon.

“Lieutenant? What’s next?” He kept his voice even and professional, trying to get her head back in the game and the best way to do that was to go the checklists that were learned in training. There was comfort in routine, and he needed her to get it together. She ran through the list, going over their weapons, armor, terrain and the mission objective again. From here on out they were on their own, as they needed to maintain radio silence for as long as possible. Hiding the remnants of their entry gear, they started toward the camp.

It was strange walking in a band of perpetual dusk. His eyes had adjusted, but Robert kept waiting for the sun to set so they could use the darkness to their advantage. For her part though, Topaz had recovered fairly quickly and had set a brisk pace. At this rate, they would be inside the perimeter within the hour.

The camp was on the largest island of a massive archipelago, and the ridge they had started on gave way to a steep valley, with the laborers housed in the bottom and the overseers residing on a mirror hilltop. A lone road was the only access point from one side of the island to the other, running from Jalnor through the gulag and up to the small enclave at the other side. 

He followed her silently and they kept their distance from the main road, while threading their way through the rocky outcrops along the shoreline. The view really was something. On one side, the sky was dark, nighttime looming over the land, and the stars twinkling brightly. Directly opposite, as if a converse reflection, was almost complete daylight, with a red sun burning in a continuous afternoon setting. The two hemispheres clashed right in the middle, just over their heads with rays of colors streaking into the contrasting canvas. If under any other circumstance he had come to this place, he might be inclined to sit down and take it all in. He needed to stop his train of thought right there…this was no time to get distracted.

The silence was wearing on him, however, and he couldn’t help but slip into the consequences of the last time he was on a team. He had spent more time in the hold of some “research” laboratory than in actual service, his life wasting away, until the one day everything finally came together in a perfect storm of serendipity, fortitude and manipulation.

Being the subject of such strenuous testing had one benefit: Cerberus needed to keep him alive. Not just alive, but physically fit and healthy as well. He wasn’t starved or beaten unless that was one of the studies and he had maintained his physique as well. This played well into his hands when after a few years, the guards were rotated and the one that replaced his had a more than passing interest in him.

The guard, who for some inexplicable reason was called “Osito”, was imposing. In actuality, he was a brute of a man, so large even Vega would feel small, and his demeanor was worse than Robert’s even at his lowest point in the Reds. He wasn’t afraid of the dichotic biotic, and often let himself into Robert’s cell for some entertainment.

Like with Shepard though, it was frustratingly unsexual, and even though Robert mentally detested and loathed everything that had to do with his predicament at the time, his body would betray him and he usually found himself aching to be sated by the man. Eventually, he used that need for his own end, luring Osito into his cell by promising he could do whatever he wanted to him, and then killing him and taking his passkey, thus starting his escape. It was all possible because some dumbass assistant forgot to remove the biotic amp they were testing, so he had access to all his power.

He couldn’t bank on the answer falling into his lap this time though, he was thinking as they approached the perimeter of the compound. The metal gate stood about five meters high with barbed wire coiled around the top. Just on the inside was an exposed corridor, where the newest slaves would be brought in for inspection. Beyond that was a second gate, completely sealed, which Robert suspected housed the populace.

Topaz brought them up short, down the hill towards a cove in the shoreline. It was a pretty secluded area, and a safe enough spot to catch their breath and formulate the next part of the plan.

“Have you seen any way in yet?” she asked as she set down her gear and pulled out a canteen. Taking a swig, she choked a bit, stifling a cough. Robert pulled out a calorie bar from his suit. As much as he knew he should save it for later, he was just too hungry now to care. It’s what he got for not eating his fill on the ship because the other non-biotics would stare.

He forced himself to swallow the sandpaper disguised as chocolate, and shook his head no. Though they were on a timetable, there was no rush as Admiral Mikhailovich was still in orbit. Topaz stood up, and strode down the bank toward the water. Part of him wanted to go into Commander Mode and force the mission, but the other part of him knew that she needed this moment, now that they were here, to gather her thoughts and mentally prepare; there was no telling what they were going to face once inside.

His attention returned to the hilltop and the compound within. They had the basic layout of the area on their omni-tools, but no idea where Susan was or in what kind of state she would be in. As he finished is bar, he heard Topaz approaching and turned to ask her if she had come up with any plans.

 He never saw the rifle coming. 

* * *

 

_“It’s been too long. How have you been?”_

_“It’s been hard. I missed you so much.”_

Robert felt like he was dreaming, and he couldn’t see who was talking, though he was sure he recognized the voices. One was a female, mature with an even tone, and the other was male, deep and smooth on the surface but rough underneath. He tried to move, but none of his limbs were responding, yet he didn’t feel as if he was bound. All he could do was lay (was he even lying?) and listen to whoever was having their intimate reunion in front of him. He inwardly sighed. Three times in one’s life are three too many times to wake up blinded and unable to move; at least when there wasn’t a fun reason behind it.

There was some rustling, and he had he vague feeling that he was on his side. He still couldn’t move, but some feeling was returning to him, and he felt warmth and pressure on his chest.

_“What was that?”_

_“I think he’s waking up. I don’t want to leave…I’m not ready.”_

_“Here, I can give us more time.”_

He didn’t feel it, but somehow he knew he had been pricked in the arm. He struggled as the darkness enveloped and smothered him until he couldn’t bear the weight anymore.

When he finally woke up again, he was definitely faced down. He took a deep breath, coughing and choking when dirt flooded his nostrils. The putrid stench of illness and rot permeated the air and it was all he could do to keep from retching. He went through the normal routine, checking for any serious injuries, and to his surprise he was still in one piece. Indistinct voices were carrying through the walls, but other than that there wasn’t much sound and his head pulsed with the dull echoes of pain from Lt. Topaz’s rifle butt.

Why had she attacked him? She couldn’t have been a traitor. The Alliance had been watching them all carefully for some time according to the documents he had seen. He braced himself against another wave of nausea as he rolled himself into a sitting position, squinting and hissing a bit as the light from the red sun flooded his vision.

The room he was in was definitely nothing more than a holding cell. There was a mat on one wall and a bucket for relief on another. Occupying the mat was a sickly body, pores oozing fluid and was more than likely the source of the stench. He covered his nose and mouth and scooted as far away from it as he could. Only when his back hit the other wall did he notice that he wasn’t wearing his armor, though he was relieved to see that he wasn’t naked. At least he could keep some dignity. He went through some mnemonics, seeing if his amp was in, because there was no way he was going to open his implant and expose it to the air.

He was disappointed but not at all surprised to find that his amp was missing. His mouth twisted into a rueful smile and he barked out a laugh of chagrin. He wasn’t getting out of this one easily as his head was throbbing and he could barely see, let alone fight his way through an unknown prison. The door opened and in walked two Batarian soldiers and a human woman. She was average height and slim and her raven hair was cut just shoulder length. Her brown eyes swept over him cautiously. It was warranted because as soon as he saw her, his blood boiled and he lunged.

He even without his amp, he was able to pump enough energy through his eezo nodes to enhance his speed just past humanly possible. Even so, the distance was a step too far and one of the guards was quick enough to grab his shoulder. His face met cold stone as he was pinned against the wall.

“What are YOU doing here,” he spat, his cheek bruising from the force of the hold.

The woman turned to the guards, “You can leave us. He won’t be a problem.” The Batarian holding him made some grunts and vocal noises to which she responded, “Yes I’m sure. We do have a history, but he can put that aside for now.” The alien shrugged, and dropped him to the floor. He nodded to the other one and they left with Robert climbing to his feet and the woman easing her way to the center of the room.

She stood in the sunlight, angling herself so that he had to squint to get a good look at her. She was wearing the red and white standard of a doctor with some minor alterations. It came down just a little longer as if it were attempting to be a skirt or dress, and the sleeve around her outstretched hand flared just a bit.

“Nice to see you again, Lt. Toombs.”

Robert leaned against the wall, arms folded and scoffed, “Can’t say the same for you. I thought I killed your whole team leaving Akuze. And it’s Commander now. Why are you here and what do you want?” He had no intention of revealing his marriage to Steve, just in case.

“Only for the Alliance to hold its end of the bargain.” She stepped closer to him, brushing her hair out of her eyes, and Robert could smell a hint of fragrance coming from her. There was no way she was a prisoner of this camp, “and for you to repay your debt.”

Debt? He didn’t owe her anything. She was one of the ones who tortured him! What the hell kind of debt did he owe her? His pulse quickened as did his breathing and he was really trying not to lunge at her yet again.

“I can see you’re confused. Angry, but confused. Let me clear this up, I’m Susan Rizzi.”

Robert would have fallen had the wall not been there. His thoughts and words were fumbling and faltering and he couldn’t wrap his head around what he was hearing.

“How?”

“How what?”

“Tell me how I owe you.”

Laughing, she closed the distance and stood right in front of him. He wrinkled his nose as the overpowering smell of the lavender and cucumber perfume she wore wafted into his face and he added it to the list of things that would forever be disgusting to him. He brought his hands up to push her away, but before he made contact, she stepped back and folded her arms. “Do you honestly think that someone would ‘accidentally’ leave an experimental amp in a combat capable test subject?”

NO! NO! NO! That can’t be right? _She_ left in the amp…on purpose?

“You…but why if you were working for them? You had to have known what would happen.”

Rizzi stepped back as she lowered her gaze to the floor. When she looked up, her expression had changed from aloof and casual to a slightly contrite look. “When I was transferred to the Akuze cell, I didn’t know what was going on. I was the biotic specialist that came up with the procedures to assess and enhance your abilities.” She sighed, brushing her hair nervously, “But I had no idea what they were doing to you. When I was promoted to Bane’s assistant, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I…had to get you out. I presumed if given the chance, you would be able to break yourself out, so I gave you that chance.”

So he _did_ owe her. “But what about the Alliance? What deal do they have with you?”

At this, her mouth curled into a crafty smirk and she stepped into his space again. “Cerberus doesn’t do loose ends, and when you killed the whole cell, I became a loose end. I have information the Alliance wants, and they have the means to get me out of here. It’s an even trade. Now come with me, you’re being transferred to medical.”

He followed her out the door, catching the eyes of the Batarians waiting on the other side. Batarians were at the top of Robert’s alien hate-list, seeing as most of them were slavers or pirates or some other lowlife occupation. If only he had his amp…

But this brought him back to what Susan was saying before. The Alliance knew she was here, and that she worked for Cerberus, which means they would have known about her connection to him. So why would they send him, knowing that he killed most everyone who had anything to do with Akuze? It didn’t make sense.

As they crossed the courtyard to the low slung grey building across the way, another question popped out of his mouth. “Who were you talking to earlier?”

“Hmm? When?”

“I woke up one time before and two people were talking. Something about missing each other. I know one of them was you. Who was the other one?”

He looked over to see the color drained from her face and her eyes wide. Slowly she turned to him, “You heard that?” Her mouth opened again, but she cut herself off and continued forward, “It was no one, just one of the Batarians from the city.”

She led him into one of the rooms and another Batarian entered. They ran tests, checking his blood pressure, height and weight and all other standard procedures. His name was run through some sort of database and Robert hoped that the altered information was correct, if the Hegemony learned there was an Alliance marine in one of their camps, there was sure to be political fallout from both sides. He was relieved then when his information came up: Toombs, Robert. Vanguard Marine ex-Alliance, Honorable Discharge. Satisfied, The Batarian grunted and motioned for Susan to follow him out the door.

When it closed, Robert leaned back on the examination table, his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and heard an electric sizzle and a hushed voice, “Commander, are you ok?”

Springing upright, he saw Topaz hunched in the corner, her cloak dissipating into the air. Simultaneously, he wanted to hug her, and hit her. Understanding the ice she was treading on, she hurried through an explanation.

“Sorry about earlier, but it was the only way I could think to get you in. I have the Tactical Cloak installed on my armor, and I know you’re good, but I didn’t want to take chances. Plus having you come to medical was the quickest way to get you to Dr. Rizzi.”

“Wait, how did she know I was there?” He could forgive her for knocking him out, because as painful as it was, it was a good plan; especially when considering slavers weren’t really picky on how they got their victims.

“Because the Alliance has been in contact with her since before we met on the Citadel. The Batarians recognize her abilities as a doctor, so they keep her separate from everyone else and give her a bit more discretion. This was her plan honestly.”

Despite his disdain for Rizzi, he couldn’t help but be impressed. Twice now, this woman was faced with an impossible situation and twice now, she had come up with a resourceful solution. He could definitely see why Anderson wanted her on his team.

“So how long has it been since we landed and where have you been this entire time?” 

“It’s only been about 3 hours since we landed and I’ve been setting up for our escape. Once she’s done talking to the overseer, you’ll be taken to the men’s barracks. Your armor is under the floor beneath the third bed on the left and your amp is inside one of the shoulder cases.”

“Alright. What’s the plan after that?”

“I hadn’t thought that far. I have a second amp for Dr. Rizzi, I’ll give it to her when I can, but honestly, my mission was only to get you inside. After that, you and the Major were supposed to get us back out.” She stood up and activated her omni-tool, and melted into the wall as her cloak came up again. “They’re on the way back, so this is my exit.”

Going over what he could remember of the schematics, Robert stopped her, “Head up to the main overseer house. I think the AA gun controls are up there. If you can disable them, the shuttle can come and pick us up from somewhere closer.”

“I already tried that, but the place is on a constant lockdown and I didn’t have enough time to hack the door systems.”

Already a step ahead, Robert nodded, “Leave that to me.” 

* * *

 

A half hour later Robert was huddled behind a staircase fully armored, with sirens blazing around him.

“THIS IS YOUR PLAN COMMANDER?” Topaz yelled as she opened the hacking protocol on her omni-tool. Robert took the time to line up a shot and a Batarian head exploded 50 meters away.

“It’s working isn’t it? You said you needed time, so I gave you time.” It didn’t hurt that he also gave the captives the ability to fight back. After he had been led to the barracks, and suited up, the first thing he did was find a security panel and disable it. All of the gates opened at once and slaves from all over the compound flooded the courtyard, attacking any guards they came across. The more militaristic ones had seized weapons from the fallen and were now leading the charge to take the compound for themselves.

In the meantime, he had met up the doctor “escaping” to the overseer house where they both knew Topaz was located. After handing her the second amp Topaz got to work on the systems, while he and Rizzi provided cover.

When she told him she was a biotic specialist, he figured she knew the same things he did, the basics like, Throw and Barrier with maybe a Warp and Stasis thrown in. The moves she was pulling though…it was like watching a completely different skillset. It was almost alien. She had this aura around her that burned anyone who came close, and with that she ran through a few guards, turned around, tossed a Throw their way and BOOM! A biotic explosion was up and away before he could even Charge.

As they made their way through the offices to the Overseer’s, a small security detail found them and opened fire. Rizzi hit one of them with another ability he had never seen before and the Batarian shouted curses and was swinging his arms wildly in pain, the biotic field eating at his flesh. Robert Charged into the middle of the pack, hitting the afflicted and another explosion went off, sending body parts and fluids all over the walls and his armor. To his surprise however, the effect transferred to another guard and he too exploded when she Slammed him to the ground sending another wave of corpse splashing over him. Topaz caught up to them and turned to the other woman, “What the hell was that?”

“It’s Dark Channel. I learned it from an Asari. She only got to show me once.”

Her tone made it clear what had happened after that, and Robert wasn’t inclined to ask for more details. When they reached the end of the hall and entered the office, the overseer and his elite guard were there waiting on them.

Crying out as something pierced his Barrier and he was flung sideways into the wall, he managed to twist his body just enough to have the flat of his back suffer the impact and not much else. He bounced from the force and his vision was cloudy as he tried to recover. When he sensed a large figure moving in his direction, he launched himself backwards, grunting as he used the last of his Barrier to phase through the wall just as a glowing hammer crashed into the spot where he was a moment before.

By the time he regained his footing and his vision was clear, he could see the massive Krogan warlord staring him down. The rest of the guards were engaged with Rizzi and Topaz in the previous room, and he had little doubt the two women were holding their own.

“I knew der was summin fishy boutchu. I shoulda had the guards kill you when you left the doc’s room.”

 _What does he mean when I left the Doctor’s room?_ Robert narrowed his eyes, though he knew the Krogan couldn’t see through his helmet. He saw him reach for his hammer again, and Robert hopped to the left, as the hammer came hurtling down once more. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he jumped back and fired three rapid Phase Disrupters, feeling his Barrier dwindle with each one. The Krogan shrugged them off, and sneered, “Is that all ya got?” before he detonated his Tech Armor and Robert was knocked back, over a desk and out the window.

There was a small landing outside and he had managed to grab hold of it, before going completely over and falling down the cliff into the roiling ocean below. He was dangling over the edge, holding on with both hands as heavy footsteps slowly made their way toward him.

“Yer harder ta kill than a Vorcha with medigel, I’ll give you that. But yer luck has just run out.” He brought the hammer over his head, holding hit high as he posed for his moment. Robert activated his amp, pouring all the energy he had into one final Charge. He had never done one this close to someone before, and also never without his feet on the ground. He had no idea whether it would work or not.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion: the hammer falling, Robert, swinging his legs up and under him meeting the metal of the landing he was holding, even droplets of the newest rainstorm headed their way hung in the air. There was an explosion, and Robert felt himself falling through the air for a moment. He looked down to see the Krogan plummeting to the sea, his screams and curses fading along with him. It took him a moment to realize that he was buzzing, and a familiar sensation was washing over him. Suddenly he was floating back to the window, and the warped and mangled landing came into view, with the two women, laughing to one another, and Rizzi’s outstretched hand reaching for him.

He grabbed it and she dropped her Pull field while Topaz grasped his other arm and they lifted him through the window. Rizzi was covered in blood, though, most of it was not likely hers and Topaz had her helmet off and was grinning fiercely.

“Well, that was fun, “ Rizzi said, as she dusted herself off, “but I’m ready to be done with this place. Shall we call our ride?”

Robert walked back into the main office, being careful to step over the dead and putting the dying out of their misery. “One last thing. We can’t leave all of these people here. Topaz, do you have access to the defense system?”

“Yessir,” She stepped forward, her omni-tool glowing, “but I don’t think firing on the city is a god idea.”

“We’re not firing on the city. Target these coordinates.”

Her eyes went wide when she looked at the numbers, “But Commander! That’s the Ain Jalut!” 

* * *

 

“Commander, I’ve received your report on what happened on Lorek,” Hackett’s image faltered a bit as the comm waves wavered, “I’m grateful you acted with such restraint given the…nature of your previous relationship with Dr. Rizzi.” It was the only admission of Alliance knowledge of her working that he was going to get, so Robert took it in stride and let it go. Besides, he badly needed a shower and was still starving. Hackett continued, “It’s also baffling why and how a planetary Anti-Aircraft gun managed to target one of the most advanced stealth frigates in the galaxy. Luckily she suffered no damage, but we were fortunately fully within our rights to counterattack. In the ensuing ground assault over 50 captured citizens of various colonies were rescued. I’m sure the Hegemony will be feeling this one later. Good job. Hackett out.”

Robert left the QEC, and headed straight to the crew showers. In only a few short days, he would be back at Ferris Fields.


	12. Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a husband and a soldier is hard, as Steve begins to learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I spent an extra week on vacation, so...yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

“Wait. You’re agreeing to this? Why? Why don’t you want me here? Dr. Suresh used to let me sit in during her appointments.” Steve was objecting, maybe even complaining, but he was most definitely _not_ whining about having to wait outside.

“Stop whin-complaining. It’s just one appointment. I’ll be in and out before you know it.” Robert replied. Steve knew every tell of his by heart though, and caught his husband’s nervous eyebrow twitch.

“I’ll stop when you stop lying to me.” The lack of a response told him that he was correct.

 _I hate hospitals,_ he grumbled as he made his way to the vending machines. They were in the lobby of the Ferris Fields medical building, a prefab trailer really, with a low ceiling and barely any actual medical equipment. If anything serious were to come up, a patient would have to be shuttled to the facility on New Canton, the closest colony with a real medical compound, and that could take days. Luckily for them, however, Robert was just going in for a checkup on his implant, or so he said.

He didn’t have any concrete reason _not_ to believe him, but Steve had the persisting feeling that Robert wasn’t telling him everything. It had been almost a year since the Citadel incident, and Robert still had yet to fill him in on most of the details of what happened after Akuze. He did get the fact that Cerberus was involved, and that Shepard had stopped him from assassinating a scientist, but as far as anything beyond that, he was still in the dark. All of that and this sudden reluctance to let him sit in on the appointment didn’t sit well with him.

Not seeing anything that he was particularly interested in at the vending machine, he huffed and made his way back to the lobby, taking a seat opposite Robert, instead of sitting next to him as he had been.  He pulled out his datapad, scrolling through a few of the procurement lists that he had to fill out while moments of stilted silence passed. _This is hopeless._ He looked up, ready to jump back into the unending argument if for nothing more than to hear something, but was thrown slightly off upon seeing his husband’s eyes.

He never could understand the unease that most people felt when seeing Robert’s eyes for the first time. Most people flinched, or turned away, but when Steve first saw them, he was intrigued. Usually they were warm, like the embers of a fire in the fireplace drawing you to curl up and go to sleep. Right now, though, they were…distant and Steve watched him, waiting for him to say something. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, and he could tell they were from a woman due to the severe clicking of heels on the linoleum.

“Commander Cortez, I’m sorry we’re keeping you waiting, but…” the nurse paused when she saw Steve, her brow furrowing in confusion when she saw his nametag. He cracked a smile as her bewildered expression was pretty amusing. It dropped quickly when her lips angled downward and her nose wrinkled as if she had just walked past the waste disposal center. Her voice changed friendly and welcoming to cold and dismissive, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, only immediate family is allowed.”

Jaw hanging open in both surprise and outrage, Steve looked up at her, and then back at Robert. _Is she really trying to pull this nonsense? Marriage was legalized for everyone over a century ago!_ Everyone knew that it was legal and recognized on Earth and in Systems Alliance space for any gender of people or species to marry; it was one of the founding principles when man first started settling among the stars. He could remember reading the historic accounts of the struggle for equal marriage rights and couldn’t wrap his head around the arguments against it. As the Security Commander and Alliance liaison of the colony, he expected his husband to have something to say about her statement. When Robert didn’t move or say anything though, he snapped at her.

“I _am_ immediate family. I’m his husband!”

“Maybe by Alliance standards, but Ferris Fields does not recognize this… _abomination_! No wonder all those other colonies are-”

Their marriage had ever been an issue anywhere else before, but all of a sudden on some backwater colony that didn’t have more than a cup to spit in, _he_ was being told that _his_ love was an abomination?

Before he could interject, a blue field wrapped around the young woman and she was lifted off the ground, hovering inches from the floor. Panic welled in her eyes and Steve looked over to see Robert nonchalantly tapping his fingers on his knees, enveloped in the mirroring aura. His eyes were no longer distant, scalding the nurse with his gaze instead.

“I suggest you apologize to my husband right now. I have too much shit on my mind to deal with your petty ass bigotry at the moment, so just… go.” With that, he dropped her, and she collapsed in a heap, feebly grabbing for her throat. Steve should have been impressed, in fact part of him was, but another part of him was worried because Robert had never intentionally used his biotics in anger before.

“You shouldn’t have done that you know,” he moved to his original seat after the nurse scrambled for a hasty retreat. “She’s going to tell someone. It might hurt your case.” It was a gamble to bring up, but he was sure that’s what had the other man in such a bad mood considering the hearings were being scheduled. Sure enough, he caught another tell, this time in the way his husband cracked his neck.

“I don’t care. You are **not** an abomination.”

“Neither are you. Now, tell me. Is this really a checkup?”

A heavy sigh preceded the answer, “Yes.”

“You’re lying again. Why?”

Robert pinched the bridge of his nose, a clear sign of his frustration, groaning as he did so, “Steve you know I want to tell you-”

“And you said you would, so why don’t you? I know it’s classified. I’ve heard the speech before. But I’m not going to run off and tell the nearest reporter.” Steve rubbed his ear, his own irritation getting the better of him. He took Robert’s hand, dropping his voice to a whisper and leaned into his husband’s neck, “Look. I know you were never going to say anything, but this has something to do with your implant and I want to know why you’re seeing this new Dr. Rizzi when Dr. Suresh is just down the hall.”

Robert didn’t even attempt to brush off the question. “Dr. Rizzi is a specialist in biotic implants. Dr. Suresh is good, but Rizzi is more up to date on certain aspects.”

Sighing as he stroked an abstract pattern on the back of Robert’s hand, Steve decided to lay a few cards of his own on the table. He had done a little bit of research after his talk with Finch and even consulted Hector Trujillo, the N7 Paladin Sentinel on Robert’s team of six (and now really good friend of Steve’s to boot). Hector was biotic as well and it was from him that Steve learned about the differences between L2 and L3 implants and the long list of side effects associated with the former. It was also unintentionally from Hector that Steve got his first inkling that Robert was holding something back besides his history after the Akuze incident.

 When Hector had been describing the differences between the implants, Steve realized that Robert’s looked nothing like either one. He did a little more research and found that Robert’s implant looked more akin to the new L4 implants introduced to the market just a couple of years prior. But from what he knew, a biotic implant required very dangerous brain surgery. Robert had already been an L2 according to Finch, so his new implant had to come after the correction at BAaT, but there was no mention of a second surgery in his medical file, so when did it happen? Steve knew he wasn’t dumb, but there was something staring him in the face and he was just missing it…

“Would these more up to date aspects include your aftermarket implant?” he whispered, squeezing Robert’s hand tighter and holding it to his thigh. _Don’t run from me._

His heart sank when the hand was snatched away, a cold emptiness left in its place, and Robert turned to face him with his body, but his eyes continuously darted around the room, as if searching for someone. His hands shook in his lap and Steve could see the unease making its way through his mind. And of course, he figured this was going to be another subject that he would find out about “later”; whenever that happened to be.

“Steve…”

“Don’t bother. You’ll tell me later isn’t going to cut it. I have to go to work soon, so you can either tell me now, or tell me when I get home.”   _Wasn’t this appointment supposed to have started by now_?

“Steve, what are you really upset about?” Robert’s unexpected question cut through the silence and Steve winced at the tone. Without pausing to let him answer, he continued, “You haven’t been hiding it very well. I feel like you’ve been taking little digs at me for the past few weeks, and I’m tired of it. Just tell me what’s really bothering you so we can move on.”

 _He’s got to be joking_. _He’s the one with all of the secrets, all of the “I’ll tell you later” crap and_ **he’s** _telling_ **me** _he’s tired of it?_ The sheer absurdity had him reeling and he gritted his teeth so hard he could feel the tension in his jaw. But it was true; the past few weeks had been rough. “Fine. I want a straight answer. Why are you denying my transfer request?”

As good as he was at organizing the workers at the construction site, he was getting restless. Sitting in an office, running reports and looking over personnel files was getting stale. He missed flying: the split second adrenaline pumping decisions that kept you in the air; the feeling of totally being in control, tinkering on his bird (God if he could just adjust some inertial dampeners right now…); but mostly, he missed the view, looking down and seeing a planet or looking up and being amongst the stars, just a box of metal and some mass effect fields separating him from the empty void they sailed through.

Robert scoffed and shifted in his seat, “That’s why you’re upset? You know Ferris Fields doesn’t have any Tridents Steve. I’m sorry you’re bored, but Hackett put you where your skills were needed most.” Consternation threaded through his words and Steve’s fist balled as he clenched his jaw even tighter.

“Then why don’t I fly your shuttle? I’m the best pilot in this hole, and yet I’m not included in your rotation! Do you think I can’t handle it? You’ve seen my records; you know that I can-”

“Will you just STOP?!?” The words slammed into Steve, crashing off the walls and thundering in the room. Robert was on his feet now, hands on his hips. His lips were pulled back as he sucked on his teeth and blood was rushing to his face, his skin nearly matching the color of his eyes.

A shiver of fear ran through Steve as he recognized the look from the night on the Citadel, but he was determined to see this through. Dorolina always said his mouth would get him into trouble. “It’s because we’re married isn’t it? But that’s not right. Hector and Odysseus are married yet you take them on N7 missions together. It’s not any different. I wouldn’t even be going groundside!” It was a compelling argument, albeit a low blow, since he was aware that the other couple had hidden their relationship purposely during ICT, only getting married after Robert had selected them for the team.

A grunt this time, but instead of slumping in defeat with Steve’s impressive logic, Robert stood even taller, squaring his shoulders and looking down with his full Commander bearing. “It’s different because they have a history of service together. They survived Torfan. I know what they’re capable of, and frankly Steve, I know you too. As good of a pilot as you are, you’re too much of my husband to see the mission through if need be.”

He wanted to argue, to protest in some way, but he couldn’t. Robert was right; Steve would risk anything to save him if he had too. But, even so, it was still an insult to tell a fellow marine, let alone your husband, that you couldn’t trust him to get the job done. It hurt, but then again, the truth normally does.

“I have to go to work. Maybe I can actually be of some use somewhere.” He didn’t wait for a response, instead grabbing his jacket and turning on his heel. He was in such a hurry he didn’t even notice the hand that was reaching out for him as he stomped to the exit. 

* * *

 

A few hours later, Steve was staring out the window of the colony cafeteria. It wasn’t Arcturus, with spaceships floating by silently through the sea of darkness, but the view was still impressive. The colony was in a remote mountain region of a small terrestrial planet, and was divided into two major areas. On top of one of the more flat ridges were the headquarters and main components of the colony. Ferris Fields was new, just founded and funded by some start-up on Earth, so there was plenty of nature still left to see.

The ridge was steep and peppered with various shrubs and other plants that had evolved to withstand the dry conditions. The season had just entered into a dry summer with sporadic torrents of rain interrupting the arid stretches. As such, a multitude of plants were flowering at the moment, and the hillside was bleeding the most vibrant indigos and crimsons that Steve had ever seen. A haphazard staircase consisting of over 300 individual steps had been constructed as there had been a few accidents, mostly children, falling down from trying to use the hillside as a shortcut. Just past the housing valley rose another foothill, covered in evergreen trees. Today the sky was a bright and cheerful blue; with lacy clouds gliding high overhead. It was a beautiful contrast to Steve’s current mood.

“Normally when you invite someone to lunch, you don’t do your best to ignore them the entire time.” Hector’s distinct Western accent actually complemented the scenery and Steve huffed as his reverie was broken.

“Sorry,” was all he offered as he slurped on some lemonade.

“What he do this time?” Blue eyes matching the sky outside held Steve’s gaze, and he shrugged as he contemplated exactly what to say. _My husband won’t tell me about his past? He thinks I’m too emotional to handle flying him on missions?_

It was clear that Hector already had an inkling of what was going on, so Steve decided not to waste both of their time. “How do you do it?”

“Do…what?”

“Separate being husbands and soldiers. I’ve been trying to get put on the shuttle rotation, but he’s either blocking the request or not submitting it. I asked him why he lets you and Odi serve together, but won’t let us and told him it was the same concept, but he says it’s different because you were on Torfan together.” Steve took another sip and watched as his friend leaned back in his chair, his finger and thumb on his chin. Hector lightly stroked the blond wispy curls and bent forward suddenly, cupping his hand over his fist. The motion caught Steve off-guard and he flinched at the boom of Hector’s elbows on the table.

“Sorry to break it to you Blue, but it is different.” The answer rolled from his lips slowly and solidly, reinforcing the stereotype of the strong cowboy that he exuded. His eyes narrowed back into their permanent squint and he cracked his knuckles against the tabletop.

“How so?”

“Me and Odi…yea we served on Torfan together. But we got together because we survived that hellhole. It was…there are things that only we can know about one another. Things, I wouldn’t trust to any other soul in this world or the next,” His eyes closed and his face hardened while his leg shook violently beneath them. Steve recognized it as a variation Robert’s   _Akuze_ look, and remained silent. He was probably fighting through some terrible images and Steve learned it was best to let them pass by on their own rather than antagonize.

When Hector spoke again, his drawl was considerably lower and his eyes wavered between the table and Steve. “I know you love yer man just as much as he loves you and me and mine love each other. But, there’s a price we pay for being who we are, doing what we do, and loving who we love, and I believe that our Commander is trying to keep you from having to pay that price for as long as possible. Some gotta pay up front, some later in life and some lucky devils get to skip out on the bill till the end. Trust me when I say Odi and I have earned what we got, scars and all; it’s something we can share. Hopefully y’all find a happier something between you.” With that he stood up, stretching his arms high above his head and went to refill his drink.

Steve watched him walk off, catching the slight limp on his left side, and studying his implant for the hundredth time since his revelation. If it was true that Odysseus and Hector, two of the biggest, bad asses he knew, came together because of what they had done on Torfan, and could only share that between them, what did it mean for him and Robert? Could Robert ever really share Akuze with him? He looked back up at the sky, and noticed the bird-like creature circling the valley in the warm sun. If his never flying again gave his husband enough reason to survive one more mission, then that was worth his ego. And honestly, he didn’t really need to know about his past in order to love him, because he had been assured on multiple occasions that what was back there, what had transpired before meant nowhere near as much to him as the bond they shared.

Even so, Steve couldn’t help but wonder as he finished his lemonade: _What price is he paying to keep me alive_?

 


	13. Anchors Aweigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

**“Breath before Body, Body before Biotics”.**

It was a mantra that Robert had learned in BAaT, one of the few good things that came from his time at the hands of Vyrnnus. It was drilled into all of the students’ heads and right now, his body was completely out of sync, and he was taking it back to basics.

**In**

He closed his eyes against the darkness that was too bright as spheres of white exploded behind his vision and streaks of red pulsed along the throbbing.

**Out**

The silence was thunderous, as his ears rang from the cacophony of his heartbeat and the blood roaring through them. Still, it wasn’t enough to drown out the ever present whisper that tickled his ears, even when no one else was there.

**In**

His skin ached with hypersensitivity as the sheets ripped along his flesh and the cold air from the vent cascaded across him adding shivers to the tremors that racked his body.

**Out**

His mind struggled as he fought to forget the events of the morning, his argument with Steve, assaulting the nurse and his appointment with Rizzi; only to fail as they were further ingrained into his memory.

**In**

His face screwed close and twisted in agony as the vice of his migraine tightened around his skull and pain bore through him. It was powerful; probably the most excruciating one he had ever experienced which is why-

**Out**

Robert did something he had not done since the night he proposed to Steve: he let it all out.

The tears streamed from his eyes, boiling his cheeks in their fury and splattering onto the pillows. It was liberating, to allow himself to feel the pain that usually was locked inside, hidden from the world. For all their time together, Robert had never let Steve see him this way. It was one part of him that he thought he could never share, that Steve could never understand. How could he? He wasn’t biotic; he didn’t have to live with the constant fear that the one thing that allowed you to function as a human being was also the one thing that was slowly driving you insane.

**In**

_“I’m sorry Robert. There isn’t anything that can be done.”_

**Out**

_“What do you mean ‘nothing can be done’? What’s happening to me?”_

**In**

**_“_ ** _See here? This is a measurement of brain activity. The one on the left is a normal brain at rest. The one in the middle is a human male biotic. The one on the right is yours. As you can see, there is twice the amount of activity than there should be, even compared with the other biotic. What’s worrisome though, is that this extra activity has a completely different signature than the main line.”_

**Out**

_“What’s this right here? Why does mine have these lines?”_

**In**

_“That’s the other thing. Those lines represent scar tissue. These marks right here are from where your implant connects to your brain. All of that scar tissue is in the way, interrupting the currents and causing your brain to have to find alternative, less efficient pathways. It’s why your migraines and nightmares are getting worse…It’s why…you’ll eventually end up …”_

**Out**

_How much time do I have?”_

**In**

_“Honestly. Not long. It could be months. I don’t know._

**Out**

_“Then I’ll make the most of the time I have. Not one moment for granted.”_

Robert lay on his back, the last echoes of the conversation withering away on the shadows. If it was true, and he didn’t have much time left before…whatever was going to happen, then the needed to get to work. There were so many things he regretted, and so many things he had yet to do. Regrets like: he should have never sent that message to Shepard. Even if it was an accident, as he was just typing out his frustration and hit send instead of cancel when Steve surprised him. In retrospect, he should have known better. He himself had picked up Rizzi, an ex-Cerberus doctor for his little squad, and he had no intention of ever working for them, so it was only fair to give Shepard the benefit of doubt as well.

But that wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind. He choked on a sob as he realized he was going to have to tell Steve. How does someone even approach that conversation? _I love you, and I’m going to be completely insane in 6 months. Do you mind sticking around until then?_ Part of him wanted to hide the truth and live it up as best he could, but that wouldn’t be right, or fair to the man he loved. Steve would and had given up so much for him. Robert knew how much he missed flying, but he also knew about the starship posts that Steve had turned down in order to remain at Ferris Fields. There was even an offer for CAG on a carrier that was stationed on the edge of the Terminus. When Robert asked why he hadn’t taken it, Steve brushed it off, mumbling something about being better suited for a flight deck. Maybe on some level, Steve already knew something was up, and was just willing to be there with Robert until the end.

It was this thought that sealed the deal. Steve had given his all in the relationship, and of course Robert had been a good husband, there was no doubt in his mind about that, but it was really now or never. He was going to tell Steve everything: the Reds, BAat, Akuze, and now his deteriorating state. Steve would be able to make the choice, and if he stayed, Robert was going to give everything he had for him; everything in his power to make Steve the happiest man in the galaxy. NO, the universe.

Not one moment for granted.

With his final thoughts centered on his husband, the razor’s edge of pain dulled and Robert was finally able to fall asleep, rolling onto Steve’s pillow, breathing in his scent and imagining holding him later that night as he removed the final layer, baring his mental scars to go along with the physical ones that were already accepted and loved.

God, he was a lucky man. 

* * *

 

_It had started innocently enough with Robert wrapping his arms around Steve as he put the dishes away._

_Then came the tickle fight. Unknown as to who fired the first volley._

_It escalated quickly into a rough, sweaty wrestling match with each man using whatever strategy he could to gain the upper hand to “win”. Robert was taller and heavier than Steve by more than a few centimeters and kilos, and Steve was fully aware of his husbands combat capabilities, but nonetheless was putting up a valiant effort so as not to be pinned to the floor, or couch, or wherever they ended up._

_Sometime during that battle, clothes started coming off, and Robert now had a new goal: keep Steve naked. It was going well enough, until Steve managed to grab his underwear and while on his back, legs in the air and laughing hysterically, was even putting them back on. This was unacceptable, so Robert exercised the nuclear option._

_They both stared in amusement at the two halves of cloth on the floor. Robert looked down at his husband, chest heaving from their recent exertions, and his body glistening of sweat.  The faint aroma of “man” teased his nostrils and he inhaled, savoring the spicy smell. A jolt through his body caused his dick to twitch in anticipation._

_“I win. Time to claim my prize.”_

_It was how they ended up fingers laced, bodies entwined on the floor of the living room._

_Steve liked it slow and sensual, and usually Robert was more than happy to oblige. Tonight though, the buildup from the wrestling carried over into their sex, and Steve made no objections as he was pinned face-down and ass up, taking his husband’s full weight with every thrust; Robert buried knuckles deep in one end and balls deep in the other. He groaned as he felt both Steve’s throat and his insides quiver at his welcome intrusion. Rarely did he ever get to just have his way with him, but Steve was going along, submitting to every position, every command, whether uttered or not, and something about getting to be as dominant as he wanted was pushing him over the edge._

_Breathless, moaning, whispering, sighing, husky, and throaty, it didn’t matter how Steve sounded as he approached his climax, Robert loved it all. His eyes rolled back as Steve pushed back onto him, finally exerting his own measure of control._

_He was getting closer and closer, losing his rhythm as he watched Steve buck with his approaching orgasm. When it hit, he leaned back and-_

**“RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”**

Robert’s eyes flew open as he bolted straight up in the bed. The sudden movement reminded him why he was there in the first place, reigniting his not-quite gone headache. He winced as it drilled into his skull, augmented by the throbbing that was pounding along in time to that awful noise.

With his ears covered, he leaned forward, trying to ease his breathing, but there was something about the sound, something important that he was forgetting; what was it?

Just as he was coming up with the answer, there was a loud crash in the kitchen.

“Steve?” he called, slowly untangling himself from the sheets. It shouldn’t be, as he was working a double shift today, padding his hours so they could take a vacation for Robert’s upcoming birthday. There was no answer from the other end of the house, and the alarm was going still going off, each pulse threatening to send his migraine back into overdrive. He pulled on some pants and grabbed his Predator from the nightstand. It wasn’t the strongest pistol out there, but a bullet was a bullet, and he was a damn good shot.

Hugging the doorway, he peered around the corner. The relief of having the lights off earlier to ease the pain was now countered with the fact that he couldn’t see whatever intruder was slinking around in the dark. A small voice in his head wondered whether or not it could actually be Steve, making for a surprise party, but he quickly dismissed it. His husband knew how much he _HATED_ surprises; there was no way he would arrange one.

Keeping low and creeping forward, Robert fought a wave of nausea, as the noise and motion were bringing the migraine back to bear. By the time he got to the end of the hallway, his eyes had adjusted somewhat and he could see the faint outline of something wondering about the living room.

He leapt out from the corridor, leveling the gun at the silhouette. “Hands up and on your knees!”  The figure turned around, and the next moment lasted almost an eternity as the two regarded each other, both ready for anything, yet neither making the first move. It was then that Robert noticed the thing in front of him wasn’t human; or Asari, Turian or even Salarian. It was taller than him, with a large head and he could barely make out two pairs of eyes perched on either side of the pyramid like carapace.

 The creature moved first.

The crevices between the plates on its exoskeleton shone a bright green color and Robert immediately recognized it as a Barrier. A gurgling, grunting noise spewed from what he thought served as its mouth and it lunged back, wings buzzing the air and sending fragments of his and Steve’s life together hurtling across the room.

Quickly, he fired five rounds, aiming for where a heart would be on a human. The first shot missed, but he recognized the sound of two bullets ricocheting off the Barrier and the last two were accompanied by what he was sure was a painful gurgle and squelching noise. The alien however, recovered quickly and produced two double edged blades and leaped over the couch and the air hummed while flecks of light danced from its gossamer wings. The force of the impact slammed them against the wall, and Robert’s vision flashed white from the sudden pain.

They wrestled and fought and with the creature matching him in size, it proved to me a much more challenging opponent than his husband, easily pinning him to the ground. He cried out as his thigh was sliced open. Grasping one of the wings at the base, he pulled as hard as he could. It was rare that he felt satisfaction over harming another life, but this was personal. It had invaded his home and it was _not_ going to get to Steve. In agony, the creature shrieked and leaned back, giving Robert enough leverage to deliver a strong kick to its chest, sending it off balance and to the floor.

Not leaving any room for error, he rolled onto his feet, grimacing at the bite of the open wound. Diving forward, he picked up one of the blades that had been dropped moments before and drove it down, somewhere in the head region. Another shriek, and he raised his arms again, fluid splashing in a high arc, splattering along the walls and floor. As the creature convulsed beneath him, struggling against his weight, he stabbed the alien over and over, each blow yielding a sound that got weaker and weaker, until finally he buried the blade to the hilt and dug across its head, severing multiple eyes in the process.

Panting, as the blade clattered against the tile, Robert rose slowly, and staggered to the light switch. He rubbed the circles from its eyes when they came on and looked down at the alien. It was insectoid, brownish grey in color, long and lean with three talons on each hand and two on the feet. It was nothing he had ever seen before.

He checked his thigh, and seeing the blood flowing, hobbled down the hall to the bathroom for some medi-gel. After slathering a moderate amount on the cut, he ambled back to the living room to clean up the mess. He pulled out some cleaning supplies and set to work, only noticing the glowing terminal on the floor after moving the still bleeding corpse. There were multiple missed calls and messages all labeled EMERGENCY.

“Commander! Where have…been…? The colony is und…ack! They’re…akin…vryone!” Topaz’s voice fought through the static.

Robert’s blood froze. _Taking people?_ He looked back at the body. Then these were the things that were responsible for all of the other colonies disappearing!  He needed to regroup with his team, whoever was left anyway.

“Oshitoshitoshitoshit!” He cursed as he ran down the hallway to the armor table in the spare room. Slipping the amp into his port after suiting up, he pulled up his omni-tool. He needed to contact the other members of his squad. Before that though, he wanted to contact Steve. Whatever was going on before, however he promised treat Steve later, would mean nothing if he was taken from him and _he_ would mean nothing if Steve was taken from him. He gripped the hilt of his sword, staring at the captain’s wheel engraved into the blade, matching the anchor imprinted on Steve’s toolkit; another small reminder how they fit into each other’s lives.

Gathering the rest of his arsenal, an N7 Valiant sniper rifle, and N7 Hurricane SMG, he hurried out the door, leaving his ring and dog tags laying on the nightstand.

Once outside, his jaw dropped. Though it was barely afternoon, the sky was dark. Normally, the sun beat down this time of day, and even with the recent thunderstorms that have been raging across the colony lately, the sky was eerily opaque. He looked up, and noticed the clouds. They were moving oddly, against the wind…and vibrating...

_OH…NO…_ he thought, _those are not clouds…_

The mass shifted midflight, and just above it, looming nearly straight overhead was a massive ship. The exterior was reminiscent of the dead alien on his floor, craggy and organic, but misshapen as well. The exhaust core jutted out from the ship, and along the edges, arranged in rings at points along the fuselage were spines that punctured the space around it, as if wanting to inspire anguish in those who saw it. His helmet beeped as it tried to establish a connection to the nearest network, but only static crackled in his hear. He shut it off; there was no need to aggravate his headache for no gain.

The swarm broke into smaller sections, each one drifting to a different part of the area. Robert hid in the bushes, wanting to observe their behavior before running out into the cloud. His heart sped up and nervous sweat formed on his brow as one mass moved closer to his location. Their movements indicated that they were actively searching for victims instead of automatically stinging every moving thing. A flash of movement caught the corner of his eye, and he turned just in time to see a Turian and human couple make a run from their apartment. Immediately, the seekers honed in on them, and the human went down, her face frozen in terror, body stiff as a board from one of the insects. The Turian was left alone as he cried and pleaded, but when more of the larger aliens like the one Robert had just fought off appeared from around a corner, he fled; leaving his partner on the ground. He made it three steps before he was shot dead. Robert watched silently as the group dragged something over to the young woman and effortlessly lifted her up and sealed her inside.

Robert waited until the aliens departed and moved to the corpse. The injuries were from no gun he had ever seen before, so knelt down to snap a few pictures with his omni-tool for further study. He took photos from every angle he could think of before standing again…right into an incoming swarm.

Without thinking, and before anything stung him, he brought up a Barrier and quickly detonated it. The insects were knocked back with the shockwave, but even more interestingly, they were disabled. He examined one of the more intact ones and took some more pictures, reveling in the knowledge that he could protect himself from suffering the same fate as the young woman.

Now that he could do that, he had a more pressing problem. _What is he supposed to do?_ Standing in the middle of a courtyard was obviously a bad idea. Getting somewhere safer where he could regroup with his team would be ideal if he could work out where to go to be able to establish communication. He made his way to another alcove between buildings, crouching underneath the raised flooring to better think. If these things were collecting people, then they would more than likely concentrate on the most densely populated area with the least resistance first, leaving the other areas to be collected later once the majority has been taken. This meant that the operations area of the colony was probably safer for the time being, and his team would have figured that out as well, meaning that someone (probably Hector) would have led as many people as possible to either the colony HQ or the armory to wait for reinforcements. Now that he had a destination, Robert eyed the hill across the street leading to his teammates. 

* * *

 

After escaping the living area, the rest of the trek actually wasn’t too difficult. The aliens were taking their time grabbing everyone they could find. If it had been a different situation, Robert would have admired how thorough they were. No house was left unsearched and quite a few times, he had gotten lucky when some unfortunate soul decided to run, drawing attention to themselves.

Halfway up the hill, he opened his comm channel again. His helmet pinged a few times, then settled on the emergency frequency shared between his squad. Waves of relief washed over him when he heard Hector’s voice over the channel.

“This is Lieutenant Hector Trujillo of the Alliance Navy. If you are hearing this message, then get yer ass to HQ.” The message was set to repeat and Robert had to laugh. Only his second would be so direct and humorous in the middle of a crisis. Although the bulk of the invaders were down in the valley below, Robert did have to deal with a few scouts after cresting the hill. With his sniper rifle, they never saw it coming.

The colony HQ at Ferris Fields was much smaller both in scale and function than at Fehl Prime, as there weren’t that many people yet living there. The building was low and to the ground, almost identical to the medical trailer. As far as he could tell, there had been no signs of battle, and the doors were completely intact. Making sure he wasn’t being followed, Robert headed over and entered his access code on the keypad.

He stepped inside and before the door hissed shut, there was movement behind him. He whirled as a hand came up to grab his arm. Deftly stepping to the right, he lunged forward, grabbing his opponent’s arm and maneuvering behind, pulling on the arm so that the wrist, elbow and shoulder were working against each other. A groan escaped his captive and Robert’s eyes opened wide in recognition.

“Hector?”

“Commander? Glad to see ya, but would’ya mind lettin’ me go now? I think my ego is starting to bruise.”

Chuckling, Robert released him, commenting as he did so, “Glad I only bruised your ego. I would have hated to have broken your pride.” He followed Hector further inside the building, getting a sit rep along the way. Apparently the aliens had been on world for over two hours, and his assumption was right: they were concentrating on the more heavily populated places first. So far only the living area and the schools had been targeted. Robert’s shoulders slumped when he heard the latter.

“What about remote locations?” he asked. He wanted to know whether Steve was safe or not. As a commander, he couldn’t base his plans around it, but as a husband…

He couldn’t see Hector’s blue eyes from under his helmet, but he knew the look he was getting anyway. There was a smile in his voice when he answered, “Don’t you worry, Sir. Blue is safe and sound at the construction site as we speak. We had a connection, but some of the bugs cut our feed before we got ‘em.” Robert tried not to signal his relief too loudly.

The pair reached the main “hall” if it could be called that, and Robert counted a total of…30 people. Out of a colony of two thousand, only thirty people managed to make it to this safe house. A shadow began to creep inside his thoughts. How could he have been so careless? This was supposed to be his watch; his people to protect! Instead he spent the first hour of the attack lying in his bed over a goddam headache! Even if he and Steve survive this, he might as well—

As if reading his mind, Hector moved in front of him, slamming his hands on Robert’s shoulders. “There was nothing you could have done. We were completely taken by surprise and they cut the comms to the valley before they touched down. So look up and get yer head in gear. We need a plan...Sir.”

Robert stopped and considered. There was no way they could just run to the main spaceport; the bugs would sting everyone en route. However, there was an underground tunnel leading to the secondary spaceport that was still under construction (conveniently where Steve was located as well), as it was easier to carve through the low foothills than to build roads that wound around and over them. “We need to get to the construction tunnel. Once there, the secondary spaceport has a couple of shuttles already on site.” Hector nodded and turned, but Robert caught his shoulder, “Where’s Odi and Nasira?” He had seen Rizzi speaking with one of the women, and Topaz was in the corner, rewiring a terminal, probably for communications. That left Odysseus, his Destroyer and Nasira, a small girl from a wealthy family who trained as a grenade loving Demolisher.

“Lieutenant Trujillo sent them to the armory to scrounge for weapons and armor for the civilians. We had hoped to issue them some in order to increase our chances of survival.” Topaz had left the terminal and was now on the opposite side of Hector, arms folded and standing akimbo. Her helmet was stowed and she looked slightly irritated. “I told him to wait until we could get communications back online, but nevertheless, he sent them anyway.” Robert huffed. Hector and Topaz were both good soldiers, but always at each other’s’ throats. She was always complaining about his reckless nature and he with her need to always be in control.

“Can you get the comms back online?” Robert pinched his nose.  They were in the middle of a crisis and in front of terrified civilians, now was not the time for a family squabble.

“Just finished Sir. I came to report to you as soon as I saw you.” She was not trying at all to keep the smug look off her face or out of her voice.

“Anyone there? Hector? Rizzi? Anyone heard from the Commander?” Nasira’s voice flitted through the channel. Robert chuckled. It was always so strange to him how someone with such a posh accent ever developed an interest in blowing things up. Maybe she was working out some issues from her childhood or something.

“Nice to hear from you Al-Farsi.”

“Oh Commander!” she squealed. Then in a whispered tone that Robert was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear, “You owe me 100 credits Odi.” He couldn’t hear the other man’s response.

“How are the weapons looking?” his tone was terse. Seriously, this is the impression that his team was going to leave these people with?

“We were supplied enough for a small militia, not to repel an invading army. There are more than enough thermal clips here and some basic weapons, but there aren’t that many sets of armor. And most of what we do have is low to mid-grade at best.”

 “Alright. We’re on our way. We can parse out who gets what later.”

“Wait? So we don’t get a say in this?” one man spoke up after the call was ended. “We’re not trained for this!”

“Yea! We saw how they were taking people from the valley! There’s no way we can get past those things.” This of course set off a general rumbling of agreement and other worriers began to speak up. The din grew loud enough that the repeated attempts by the soldiers in the room were ignored.

“ENOUGH!!!” a shrill voice that Robert vaguely recognized shouted from the back of the room. People moved over and parted ways as a small body that Robert _did_ recognize came forward. The nurse from his appointment earlier stepped front in center, looking Robert up and down and turned to face the remaining crowd. “We don’t have an option here. Everyone is in this together.”

“She’s right. And I do have a plan. The seeker bugs can’t piece a biotic Barrier. I, Lt. Trujillo, or Dr. Rizzi can hold one while we move forward.” He surveyed some of the MP’s in the room, “Anyone with weapons will be responsible for keeping the rest of the group safe. We’re going to go as fast as we can, but it’s going to take a lot out of the person holding the Barrier.” 

* * *

 

The walk to the Armory took much longer than anyone expected. Robert was right about the Barrier though, the swarmers were held at bay, and the combined forces of the MP’s and his team were enough to keep the increasing number of aliens from overwhelming the group as well. It was halfway to their destination when they saw the big creature. It was silver, large and spider-like; screeching when it saw them and hovering to their position. Hector was holding the bubble at the time so Rizzi and Robert could take a break and the duo managed to help drive it off with some well-placed Warps and gunfire from Topaz and the rest of the MP’s.

Once at the door, the civilians practically spilled into the building; with the team providing cover fire. It was the man from earlier who spoke first.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! We’re never going to make it to the tunnel with that thing after us!”

“Nice to know you have confidence in us.” A booming baritone voice rumbled from behind one of the armor racks. The previous man jumped back when a powerful heavy suit stomped from the locker with his hands full of gear. His brown eyes skimmed the room.

“Over here love.”

Odysseus followed Hector’s voice and pulled him into a deep kiss. Not entirely professional, but Robert knew he would do the same to Steve if given the chance. Unfortunately, the way things were shaping up, he wasn’t going to get such a chance.

“He’s right though,” Nasira clipped as she walked by. “We watched the walk and the fight with that thing. You’re going to need more firepower to bring it down, and we don’t have any ordinance of that kind in here.”

“We could just keep shootin’ at it. Seemed to hurt it then. And with my baby back with us, we have all the firepower we need!” Odysseus’s ebony skin shaded at Hector’s compliment and sultry wink.

“That would work, if we had the time and weren’t trying to protect noncombatants…” Rizzi began.

“With all due respect, _Doctor_ , there are no noncombatants here. Either everyone fights, or people die,” Hector interjected.

“I’m with him on this one.”

“Of course you are; you’re his husband!”

“What’s that supposed to mean? He’s a grown ass man! He can speak for himself!”

“Oh like you’re letting him do right now?”

 “We don’t have time for this. Get the wounded patched up. I need bodies in armor and clips in guns.” Robert ordered, in his _Commander voice._ He surveyed his team still with their fingers pointed at one another and gawping at him. He wasn’t wholly irritated with them; it was more the realization of how they were going to get from here to the tunnel. Nasira was right; they _didn’t_ have any ordinance powerful enough to get past the spider thing.

Rizzi’s eyes met his, her dark orbs searching his face. After holding his gaze for a moment, her eyes widened as the realization dawned on her too. She shook her head, dropping her face to the floor. “There has to be another way.”

“What is she talking about Commander? Another way for what?” Topaz stepped behind him, having seen the exchange.

“To get through their troops to the tunnel, we have to deal with the monster. Like Rizzi said, we don’t have the time to wear it down, and Nasira brought up our firepower issue. There is a way to do it, but someone is going to die. There’s no escaping it.” Robert’s lips were taught as he spoke. The only people in danger of his plan were the same three who played their role earlier. But this time, the choice was easier. Well not easier, but simpler. He would go through with it. He was the most qualified for it.

By now, the rest of his team had made it over; the civilians were milling about, trying on armors and gripping the weapons. Everyone was getting ready for the final push.

 “Nasira,” the woman jumped when Robert addressed her, “How many arc grenades do you have left?”

“Erm…six I believe Sir.”

“I’m going to need three.” Robert took the grenades and headed over to the terminal.

“Robert!” Steve’s voice lit up when the call connected.

“Oh God Steve, it’s good to hear you.”

“What’s going on down there? We lost contact with everyone hours ago.”

“I know. We’re under attack. Some sort of aliens are invading the colony, and abducting people. They cut the comms before they touched down.”

“So what’s the plan? Are we going to—”

“I’m with the rest of the team right now. We have about 30 survivors and I know you have 3 shuttles over there at the spaceport. We’re herded in the armory getting weapons and armor to push for the tunnel.” Robert sighed as he reported the situation. No matter how many scenarios he ran through his head, there was just no way around the solution he already came up with. And stalling the conversation wouldn’t make it any better. Besides, stalling is what he promised never to do again. “Steve…I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“What? Tell me what?”

Robert sucked in a breath; steeling himself for the reaction he knew was coming. “They have a super weapon. It’s powerful with a lot of shielding…well Barriers actually and we don’t have the firepower to kill it—”

“What are you saying? Do you need us to make a run? The Kodiaks have side mounted cannons. We can take it out.” Steve was nervous, as if he was picking up on where Robert was going.

“No. You’d only get taken out by the main ship. I have arc grenades with me. If I detonate them while standing in the blast radius, I can channel the extra electrical current to my nervous system and into my biotics to increase the damage and radius.” There it was, the Hail Mary of the game. Robert was literally going to take a grenade for the team.

“That’s your plan Commander! That’s insane! You’d die from the amperes!” Nasira shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t let you do it!” She reached for the grenades on his hip and Robert lit up with biotics just as Topaz interrupted.

“She’s right. You have no way of knowing if that would even work. No one has ever boosted biotic power with an outside current before.”

“Actually, you’re wrong.” Rizzi stepped forward. “There were multiple experiments conducted by Cerberus. It can be done successfully.”

“And how would you know, Doctor? And who’s to say that it would work with the Commander here?”

“Because, Lt. Topaz, I conducted those experiments _on_ the Commander himself.”

Silence fell on the little group with the rest of the armory still buzzing about, humming with conversations. “Come on. Let’s let the Commander have some space.” Robert sent a silent thank you to Rizzi when the women walked away. Eventually the comm crackled again.

“I’m coming to get you!” Steve cried.

Robert shook his head, knowing that Steve couldn’t see the motion yet couldn’t help it, “Don’t you dare; they’re everywhere! You’d just get taken too.”

“I can’t just sit here doing nothing!”

“Stay with me!” Robert held his breath. So long as Steve was on the terminal talking to him, he couldn’t prep the shuttle for flight. He blew all the air out of his lungs when Steve’s voice came over the comm again.

“Run…get out of there! You can make it!”   Steve was pleading now, desperation coloring his words; along with hope.

Robert’s voice caught in his throat. He looked back, watching as his team helped round up and prepare the civilians. Nasira was handing out thermal clips, Rizzi and Hector bandaging wounds. Odysseus was grabbing as much armor as he could and handing it out to those who had volunteered and Topaz was going over omni tools, trying to boost signals. It was tempting, though. Robert could leave; make it to the construction site alone easily. The rest of the people however, probably wouldn’t. Hector and Rizzi might and Odi could too, the former two being biotics and Odi’s armor was too thick for the bugs to get through. Topaz and Nasira though, probably not, and all the other people…he could see them, stumbling where they were stung, those aliens coming to collect them into those pods and dragging them of to that ship for who knows what…

No, he couldn’t leave these people, “No I can’t Steve, but you can. Promise me.” He choked back a sob. It was just like Akuze, he couldn’t leave Shepard behind either, “I love you, but I know you. Don’t make me an anchor. Promise me Steve.”

“No…don’t-” Robert’s heart broke again.

“I have to Steve. It’s my mission, to protect the colony. I have to do this.”

For a few moments, Steve was silent, and Robert would have thought he had hung up, if not for the stilted breathing and quiet weeping he heard. Finally Steve spoke again, little more than a whisper, and the words cut straight to Robert’s core.

“I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me Steve; I’ll always be with you.” He cringed as the words left him; not out of embarrassment for having said it, but for the realization. Often he had scoffed when other people had voiced the sentiment, himself not believing in such things, but now he understood what a comforting thought it was. Even if it was a lie, it was a lie aimed to soothe the one being left behind, the one who will have to pick up the pieces and carry on. _Alone_. And that thought hurt Robert more than anything else. Steve would be hurting because he would be gone. Because he had chosen to die. It wasn’t right, nor was it fair, and he knew part of his husband was angry for his decision, how could he not be?

It was Steve who made the first move, initiated contact so to speak. Steve met him more than halfway on many points, fought when Robert had given up, and waited patiently when Robert struggled with what he wanted. It meant the world to him to have someone willing to just be there for him, but it was something Robert had never envisioned for himself and as much as he loved Steve, he was perfectly willing to live his life and sail into the sunset, having survived what he did before he met him. He started when Steve spoke again.

 “Then take me with you—” he began.

“We went over this Steve, you have to finish—”

“Let ME finish!” Steve barked, and Robert’s teeth hurt from the force of his jaw snapping shut. “Keep the link up for me…please.”

Immediately, Robert knew what Steve was asking for and he couldn’t do it. Hector and Odysseus had shared Torfan together, and Robert had Akuze along with Shepard. “No Steve,” he replied. “That’s not going to happen. Do you really want your last memory of us together to be painful? Do you really want to hear me die?” he asked quietly.

There was more silence and Robert listened to the hitching breaths and the silent tears that drummed through the line. It was wrenching his heart to hear Steve in so much pain. Part of him almost wished he hadn’t made the call. Would that have been easier on him? To hear about his husband’s heroic sacrifice in the line of duty? More than likely not, as Steve was always more practical in these situations. He would rather know the truth and be in pain than to be questioning whether or not Robert had been given a choice.

“No…you’re right. I’m sorry,” He was freely crying now, the words getting stuck in his tears, resignation and pain pouring through. “Robert I…” another pause as a strong sob ripped from him, and Robert answered with an equally painful sound. “I love you.”

“I love you too Steve.” There was no more to say, anything after that would have tarnished the moment. Besides, Steve already knew what was expected of him:  wait for the survivors. 

* * *

 

Robert lay on the ground, laboring with what he knew would be his last breaths. His left arm was twisted in an unnatural angle and he knew his right arm was broken in at least two places. He couldn’t feel his legs at all. It was hard to breathe, considering there were multiple ribs pressing into his lungs, one of them was probably pierced. Or both. It wouldn’t matter for too much longer anyway.

He raised his head as far as he could; regarding the carnage around him. A wide swath of the field had been turned into a biotic crater, and there were corpses of the creatures strewn haphazardly around, some still smoldering with biotic fire, others just ripped and shredded where they lay. The big thing, the silver monstrosity that had been stalking the group was on its back, spindly legs twitching in the breeze.

**In**

_“I already told you. I want you.”_

**Out**

_“I will always be there to catch you.”_

**In**

_“We don’t have to do this…”_

**Out**

_“No, I want to continue.”_

**In**

_“For better or for worse remember?”_

**Out**

_“I was lost without you”_

**In**

_“You’re tougher than you look. And besides, I know you went easy on them…”_

As the darkness closed in around him, and the robotic face that he always saw in his nightmares reached up to claim him, he smiled, the motion causing pain to radiate from everywhere to everywhere else. But, at least this time he didn’t go easy on them.

**Out**

_“Thank you for loving me.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in getting this one up. I wasn't in the right headspace to write, and it got even more difficult when my inspiration for Robert decided to end our relationship as I was writing the part with Robert's sacrifice. So yeah...that was difficult, especially when the argument was so similar. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	14. Epilogue

It stirred. Something was wrong. The dark embrace of Nothing was fading, but the usual sensations that accompanied this weren’t present. Instead of a myriad of voices, there was the rhythmic throb of…something, and the stark, intense lights were instead a bright red, rotating in time to the throbbing sound.  Accompanying the usual feeling of awareness at the forefront of its consciousness, there was a primal and urgent terror building from the core of its being. It tempered this feeling and tried to remember the patterns from before: The Nothing fades, sounds become noticeable, organs are primed and oxygen delivered, then lights come on…the fear intensified as the creature realized the missing step; it couldn’t breathe. It tried to inhale, but was greeted with a lung-full of distasteful liquid. Suddenly, more sensations started to manifest; of being trapped, submerged, restrained and invaded, and lastly, most hauntingly drowning. It could feel the Nothing returning, different this time, stronger and deeper.

The sense of finality was a bittersweet one. While it loathed the painful experiments and procedures that were the reason for the fleeting deliverances from Nothingness, it relished the chance to Be, and to feel. Those moments were precious, those moments were treasured, and those moments would end if it gave in to the Nothing for good.  It fought, struggled against its confines, throwing all it could into the uncoordinated and frenzied attacks. Finally, it was too tired to move, the few precious moments it had were dwindling quickly, the Abyss growing to swallow it for good. Part of it wanted to accept fate, embrace Eternity, ready to be no more. But still, a fire burned within, partially basic survival instinct, partially… something more. It wanted to live, to breathe one its own, to Be its own. It had found its reason, a power that would not be quenched, crackling and sparking on the outside, vibrating its very being on the inside. Then the light came, one of bright azure. With one final effort it willed everything it had through this power.

It let out a cry as it fell to the ground, the pain was excruciating as flesh tore when the needles which held various monitoring instruments were violently ripped from its skin. Blood trickled in rivulets and blended with the preserving liquid, pooling underneath it as it recovered from its release. Panting, it slowly shifted its weight, testing its strength now that it was free from the confines of the experimental tube. It hardly registered the pain as the broken glass littered about the floor crunched underneath its feet. It shuffled forward, toward the telltale circle of a VI station.

“Emergency protocols now active,” spoke the mechanical voice as the image of a holographic man coalesced into view. “Warning. Multiple breaches of containment. Scanning area for released specimens.” The creature stared for a moment, unsure, way of the light emitting from the base of the console. The beam was emitted in a straight line from the base of the terminal, while rotating around the room. Then the light landed on it, the beam tracking up and down its body. There was a pause. “Incomplete analysis. Please step forward for retinal scan.” Having calmed down and the rush of survival mode waning, it began to collect its thoughts, the streams of knowledge now bubbling to the surface. The scientists had imbedded basic knowledge into a feed that ran while it was offline, making sure that it could follow commands and perform any tasks required of it. Essentially, it knew the mechanics of being alive, but had not itself experienced life. “Please step forward for retinal scan,” the VI repeated. It obeyed.  

“Performing retinal scan. Please wait,” a few seconds ticked by, “Scan complete. Identification confirmed. Warning Male Test Subject 7 detected. Arming neutralizing pro-” the hologram suddenly disappeared and was replaced by the image of an actual man, one that he recognized, and immediately felt the rage boil up from within; it was one of those who had been the source of all his pain for his entire existence.  Wide eyes with dark circles under them and skin folded into tight wrinkles in the corner sat below a shiny head with tufts of lightly rendered hair clinging to the sides. A narrow mouth with thin lips and even more wrinkles was framed by a slim face that angled into his cheekbones and his chin culminated in a short, dark mess of a wiry beard. The hologram began speaking; giving orders and directives, but Subject 7 was having none of it. He remembered the feel of needles digging into his veins as the scientists stood around with their datapads recording everything, unflinching to his cries of agony as they dissected and examined every inch of him. He could see their sick pleasure when an experiment went according to plan. He also could feel their scorn when the data didn’t align with what they had hoped. The images were overwhelming; too much to process so soon after being set free.

He whirled away from the console, fury unleashing the blue glow yet again, ready to take retribution on those who had brought him so much pain. Taking a couple of steps forward, he stopped. The labs weren’t like he remembered. Instead of pristine corridors and the searing fluorescent hue that is associated with a sterile environment, the halls were dark, bathed in the red glow of the emergency lighting, The alarm was still sounding and there was rubble and bodies everywhere. A feeling of unease arose in the back of his mind. To attack the scientists was one thing, something he had been prepared to do just moments before, but to defend himself from an unknown enemy was something else entirely. He inched forward, careful not to trip on any exposed wiring.

Not knowing what had happened, or where to go, he followed the route that he knew the best. From the experimental chambers, he made his way to where the large circular seal should have been. Because of the dangerous and delicate research being conducted on this level, the seal was a solid metal alloy of some kind, about two feet thick, and required a random pattern of keycard, retina scan, and biometric data from the three lead scientists to open. As each step took him further down the hallway, his sense of unease grew. Normally, powerfully armed guards with cutting edge armor and nigh impenetrable shields patrolled the area, ready to terminate any escaping specimen with brutal efficiency. Greeting him instead, were a few of those guards, parts of their corpses strewn about the corridor haphazardly. Their blood already was drying on the walls, filling in dents where bullets had ricocheted.

His heart was thumping in his ears as he proceeded down the hallway, illuminated only by the emergency lighting. A draft brought a breeze that brushed against his nostrils, filling them with the scent of a battle that he was relieved to not have been a part of. It also brought something else…something light? He frowned, unsure of what to make of this situation. Finally he made it to the seal, or rather what was left of it. The entire door had been ripped off its hinges, forced open from the outside. He swallowed hard, realizing his whole body was trembling as he cautiously surveyed the area. More bodies were littered around the door; these however, were not dismembered, but merely looked as if they were resting, their vacant eyes staring eerily at him.

He started as he heard a small squeal ahead of him, outside the door. He stared intently at the gaping hole, frozen by the implication of what was about to happen. His whole world up until this moment had been spent solely behind that seal, the great barrier always reminding him that his life was to be damned to an existence of Nothing and Pain. Steadying himself with a deep breath, to took his last steps as an experiment and stepped into-another hallway.

Feeling slightly disappointed, he slumped his shoulders, letting out the breath that he had been holding. He saw the flash out of the corner of his eye and shielded himself with a shimmering blue Barrier just as the bullet whizzed by his head.  He spun to his right, facing the direction of the shot, expecting the sleek, blue striped armor of one of the guards bearing down the sights of his assault rifle. Instead, shaking before him was a short alien, male and clearly not used to holding a weapon if its stance was indicative of anything.  Two pairs of scared eyes blinked at him and his skin started to flush. Sensing he was in no danger, he lowered his Barrier and his hands. Its gaze was unyielding, but soft, amused even.

“Chark.” It said, indicating itself.

He had no name, was merely an experiment up until minutes ago, and so he remained silent. The two pairs of eyes narrowed, and looked him over, lingering on his shoulder and then back up to his face. Finally it spoke again.

“I’ve never seen a human with red eyes before. But then again, I haven’t seen many humans.”

He went over the physiology of the alien in his mind: Grey skin, four eyes, humanoid. Batarian. Chark was a Batarian.

“Well. Seeing as you’re the strong, silent type, I guess I’m going to have to give you a name.” Chark continued, as if speaking about the weather while stepping over the frozen bodies. “I know, how about Sev? That number on your shoulder is the human marking for seven is it not?”

He considered. Sev. It made sense, it was easy to remember. He nodded, not yet willing to trust his voice.

“Well Sev, seeing as how we only have minutes until that giant ship comes crashing down on this colony, we should make with the escape, don’t you think?”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I plan on giving shout outs to some of my favorite works/authors from here in my series. If you see such a shout out and want it removed (or it's a violation of terms. I read them, but I don't think this violates them), just let me know and I will do so, no question. But yea..I don't see how some people are posting 2-3 chapters a week. I feel like such a n00b at this. T_T


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